BOGEYMEN ON THE BIG SCREEN
It was the night of All Hallows Eve and everyone in my family had turned in for the night. Excluding me, of course. I was sitting back on my couch eating the spoils of my victory in a Trick or Treat race and watching Bogeymen-a new horror movie starring Jason Y, Chucko, and Leathercheek . Pretty scary, huh? Wait until you hear what happens next!
So I'm just watching the movie when, suddenly, all of the evil villainous maniacs turn and point right at me! I literally choked on my Cookies 'n' Cream bar! Before I could react, Chucko's head was poking out of the TV! Soon his whole body was through, along with Leathercheek and Jason Y! So I thought "pinch me, I'm dreaming", ya know? Well I did pinch myself and, guess what, I wasn't dreaming! So I hopped right outta' my seat and was at my house door in a flash! Why was I so freaked, ya say? Well, did I forget to mention that Leathercheek was equipped with a chainsaw and Chucko 'n' Jason were sporting oversized butcher's knifes?!?
Well, back to the story. By this time I was already at the end of my driveway with no coat or shoes on-and it was freezing! I went to the first place I could think of=Jake's house. Boy, he was really steamed when he heard that I had hi-tailed it to his house and had wakened him up at one a.m.! But once he saw the three horror kooks coming up the street he was running right along with me.
Between pants he said:
"What...the heck...is going...on?"
"Oh nothin'...there's just...a few...homicidal...maniacs...chasing us!" I replied sarcastically.
"Well...obviously! But...my questions...are...how...and why!" he yelled back.
"Somehow...they just...emerged...from my TV! I really...don't know...how!"
"Oh." was all he said. That's it. Just flat out "oh".
"C'mon!" I said, "There's an...alleyway...on the...left." He looked over. We both hooked a curve into the dank back street, followed by a jump into a rotten dumpster.
"Shhh!" we both whispered simultaneously. The baddies sped right past the alleyway, ignoring it entirely.
"Phew!" Jake let out a sigh.
"We have to think of a plan." I said.
"Maybe there's some way to get them back into the TV." Jake suggested.
"Yeah, I agree. They must have opened some kind of portal to get here, so maybe we can somehow trick them into going back through the portal into TV land," I replied, "We've got to get back to my house. C'mon." And so we set off down the street in the opposite direction of our enemies.
We got to my house within five minutes and snuck in so we wouldn't wake up my mom and brothers. Geez, I thought, they must be sleeping the sleep of the dead not to have heard this commotion. All at once the door burst open and the three maniacs catapulted in. Did we scream? You bet we screamed. A close up of these guys is just to horrible to describe or even mention, but I'll do both. Chucko had a face that would make the devil cringe, with evil looking features topped of by several facial scars and a shock of unruly red hair. Besides the fact, he was a deadly doll with a butcher knife. As for Jason Y, you couldn't see his face for the shadow cast by the brim of his sinister baseball helmet. And the rest of him was just big...big and mean. Last but certainly not least was Leathercheek. His cheeks, of course, were covered with leather and otherwise he was a regular man whose clothes looked like they had gone through the shredder. Except for the chainsaw, obviously.
Anyways, we dashed for the living room, intent on fulfilling our mission. We stopped directly in front of the TV, attempting to fool the baddies into leaping toward us, but instead landing in TV world. Good thing they weren't too smart.
The plan worked-up to a point. You see, once the bogeymen were gone, I patriotically laid my hand on the TV and said:
"Good ol' boob tube." It was at that point that I learned the hard way that the portal was still activated. Half my body had already been sucked in when Jake heroically tried to rescue me by grabbing my foot-to no avail, I might add, for he too was dragged into the wild world that was-and still is-TV land. We emerged from the whirlwind of colours to find ourselves in a typical horror movie setting-a haunted crypt surrounded by a moat of lava that was-need I say it?-extremely hot. Suddenly Leathercheek charged at us in fury, chainsaw roaring. Me and Jake immediately ducked. The chainsaw whizzed an inch over our heads, where our necks were a moment before! Jake gave the guy a shot in the ribs and busted up his own hand-hey, what was he supposed to do?
Our next defense was to run away, screaming like lunatics. However, much to our dismay, we encountered Chucko. Then again, much to his dismay, I kicked the little vermin straight into the lava.
"See ya, dollface." I added as an afterthought.
"Nice move." commented Jake. There was a glint like light reflecting on steel. I instinctively knocked Jake to the ground, bringing myself down with him. The chainsaw very narrowly missed us-again. Very conviently indeed, there was an open empty coffin nearby with wheels attached to the bottom. Jake quickly executed a body check and slammed Leathercheek into the coffin . The lid fell closed on his head, knocking him out cold. While I watched admiringly, Jake rolled him right of the stone platform we were standing on and into the molten lava below us.
"Now that's how you dispose of an evil chainsaw wielding maniac who is intent on destroying you." he stated.
"Too true." I agreed. "Now let's go home." The portal was currently floating in mid air. Just as we were about to reenter the real world, Jason Y-yes, we had forgotten about him-swooped down on a rope and followed us back to reality!
Something must have gone awry with the portal, because we reappeared in the Canadian Customs Office beside the Peace Bridge.
"Weird," I muttered, "Very weird." I had no more time to analyze how weird the situation really was, because Jason Y appeared around the corner!
"Run!" Jake yelled. We dashed straight out of the customs building and, in our desperation, up the Peace Bridge! Jason Y closely followed in pursuit. By the way, it was approxiamtely two a.m. by now, so there weren't really any crowds. We had finally reached the top of the bridge, where the flags were. Oh, yeah, and Jason Y had us trapped by the edge. He raised his knife. We closed our eyes, preparing for the final, swift, stroke...when, suddenly, we heard a screech of tires burning up the pavement. Even Jason Y was so surprised that he had to stop his murderous deeds.
It was my mom!!! She sped right up the bridge in her Chrysler and slammed Jason Y with all of a Cirrus's might. He went flying off the bridge and landed in the Niagara River with a splash!
My mom hopped out of the car.
"Cowabunga!" she yelled. "I rammed that mugger right off the Peace Bridge! Yeah!"
"Mom, that was no mugger, that was Jason Y." I reported.
"Right. Knew that." she said while nodding her head reassuringly-in other words, she had no clue.
"How did you know we were up here, mom?" I asked.
"I didn't. I was trying to break a world record: get to Alabama, New York, from Fort Erie, Ontario, in under ten minutes. Oh well. We better go home." she stated calmly.
"Right..." I said. Geez, was my mom weird! Anyways, we all went home and lived happily ever after and I never watched horror movies late at night again.
Meanwhile, back down at the river...
No one seemed to notice the blue rim of a baseball helmet potruding up out of the water...or a weakened arm grasping on to a small rock...but soon everyone would hear the words JASON'S BACK!