Disclaimer; AGAIN? EVERY STORY? Bloody Hell. I own everyone but Dizzy Black! :D And even then, My imagination owns her, and then my Harry Potter part of my brain- OH STUFF IT!

Hogwarts? That sounds like a disease!

Right, shall I collect my faerie friend too?

Dizzy Black was pissed 15-year-old.

Make that VERY pissed.

Pissed after pissdom.

And I'm Dizzy Black. Unfortunately. Do you think I asked for this? DO YOU?

Shit. Sorry for the freak out. I'm just pacing outside a bloody Headmistress' office. AGAIN!

It's not like I ment to set fire to the Biology lab, or let the locusts' out, or- Well, you get the picture.

The door just opened. Great. My current Headmistress, well if you could call her a Woman. Is Monica DiAngelo. She's like the reincarnation of a gargoyle in moving form. Boring and FAT! Here's a summary of what she's saying. "Blah Blah Blah, Expulsion, blah blah blah, making a fool of myself, blah blah blah. Something like that. I tune out and draw on my hand. "Blah Blah Blah, I'm fat. Blah-" WHAT? SHE JUST CALLED ME FAT!

"Excuse me Miss (*Cough*Lesbian*Cough*) DiAngelo, BUT DID YOU JUST CALL ME FAT?" I asked, erm, politely?

"Miss Black, It was a anagram" Fatso said.

"I am NOT FAT"

"Still" Everything was very easy from there.

I just destroyed her office.

A billion hours later, waiting in my 'new room'. You see, I'm an orphan. I'm Australian. And I'm Pissed. Again. Funny how I get pissed easily isn't it?

Well, my 'parents' are strict. They're not the right parent's for a rebel. This is the 6th school this year, and it's mid September. Wait, I hear hushed voices.

"…We can't punish her too severally, social services will come again! Remember Jasmine? Silly girl. Thank goodness we got a muggle this time. A muggle? Erm. What The Fuck?

Like, three seconds later, Mr Newton (Gay name huh?) came in, twitching his moustache.

"Get out" he said hoarsely

"'Scuse me?"

"GET OUT!" he roared.

"Fine. I will." I snapped, packing the only stuff I own. Which is a few clothes, IPod, Computer, Blackberry Phone and a bloody letter my mum had left me when she died. I scrambled out the door, and nearly laughed in his face. Bloody idiot.

Over the distance I spotted a bridge, and sat under it, opening the letter.

Dear Dizzy Cookie Black,

I know if your reading this I'm dead. I knew I shouldn't of died, blah blah blah. I suck at summarising stuff, sorry. Don't expect sympathy from those bloody social services people. Rotten bloody motherfuckers the lot of them. Anyway, when your 11 or over, or an arsehole kicks you out, get a piece of chalk and draw a circle around you, then stand in the middle and shout, 'HOGWARTS!'. It may sound gay, but it works. I hope. Anyway, mention to the Headmistress that your Destiny Black's daughter, and that might work, or not…

Love you lots,

Destiny xx

I grabbed *Cough* Stole *Cough* a piece of chalk and shouted "HOGWARTS!", in a blur of motion, I arrived on a stone floor, with someone staring a hole in my back.

"Who are you?" a cold voice interrupted my groaning

"Your aunts bum, Who do you think?" I groaned and sat up. I was in an office, with a stern looking teacher staring at me

"Listen here-"

"I am Dizzy Cookie Black. My mum was Destiny Black, and I'm an orphan. Gottit? Fanks" I snapped, rubbing my head

"Miss Black" she said in a soft tone. "What brings you here?"

"Well," I started, telling her the whole story, leaving out the stolen chalk part.

"Well Miss Black, welcome to Hogwarts" She announced

I snorted "HOGWARTS? Sounds like a cure for a bad disease"

"It's not. We teach magic here" She snapped

"Sure, I'll just go off and collect my magical faerie friend too!"

"Miss Black, this is a serious matter"

"Um, before we go any further, what's your name?"

"Professor McGonagall" she announced, proud

"Alrightio, McG, Can I join your magically magic school?"

"Yes. Have you got your things?"

"Does it look like I've got my things?"

"No"

"Exactly"

"Come then, let's go to Diagon Alley"

"What a crap name. What's with you Human people and you're crazy names?"

"Miss Black" her tone was rude.

"Yes?" I opened my silver eyes wide and batted them

"Grab my arm" she offered the crook of her elbow

"Nah Fanks, you aint my type" my tone was light and teasing

"Miss Black" she said sternly

"Oh whatever" I grumbled and grabbed on, she turned on the spot, and we disappeared. The sensation felt like you were being grabbed from your navel and being turned inside out.

When the spinning stopped, We were in an alleyway, and around us was magically magic people.

"Welcome, to Diagon Alley" Except, she pronounced it, Di-a-gon Alllllllllley, and it made me laugh. Another serious look and we walked off.

"First," she said "We shall buy you a wand"

A/N; How was that? A bit Serious at the start, but she shall get funnier, when she meets random deranged characters yeah?

HilariouslyInsane.

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