Author's note: The quotes placed in between the actual story segments come directly from the series and I have not altered them. The fabulously brain-bending series Shoujo Kakumei Utena does not belong to me. I would be much much richer if it did. I hope you enjoy this little one-shot. The pairing therein is for you to interpret as you see fit.
Someday, Shine With Me-
"Himemiya, what do you want to do in the future?"
"The future?"
"After you graduate and leave here. Do you have anything you want to do?"
"I can't do anything besides raise roses..."
"Then how about you become a florist."
"That sounds good."
She worked in a flower shop now. Nothing extraordinary on the outside, but it was still special to her. Flowers of every sort lined the walls in vases and pots. It was a nice job most of the time.
She would water the plants with painstaking care, tending to them lovingly every day. Sometimes when she watered the roses, she would imagine herself as another person with darker, wiser eyes.
By all rights, she should have hated the roses.
But she didn't.
She loved them.
"Say, Utena-sama. Have you heard of Cantarella?"
"'Cantarella'? What's that?"
"It's the name of a deadly poison that the Italian Borgia family used in the past."
"Really..."
"How do you like those cookies? I baked them."
"What a coincidence. That tea is poisoned too."
"Really? It's quite delicious."
"So are these cookies."
For some reason, it annoyed her slightly when young couples would come in and buy roses for each other. They could never love the roses like she did. They would all wither and die in the end.
In and of itself, however, the job wasn't bad. She had no idea why she ended up there.
Or perhaps, it wasn't the why so much as the how. She wondered often how she had become a florist, when for so many years her only true aspiration had been to become a Prince.
"Utena-sama."
"Hmm?"
"What will you be doing in ten years?"
"I dunno. But..."
"But?"
"But I hope we can be together like this drinking tea then."
"Yes. I hope so too."
"I'm sure that'll be great."
"Let's have tea and laugh together ten years from now, okay?"
"Promise?"
"Yes. Definitely. "
She wondered many things. What had she done wrong, there at the end? Why had she been unable to bring the fabled Revolution, or grasp the power of miracles that so many desired? Why had she failed? Why had she been betrayed? Why did it still hurt?
Why, why, why?
There were never any answers for her. Only precious memories. A few pictures to prove that she existed.
But in the end, when she was gone, and the pictures faded, she wondered if anyone would remember her or how she had struggled so hard to protect someone she loved. Would anyone remember her at all?
"We should all just hurry up and forget all this."
"I wonder if this is the sort of thing that can be forgotten."
"Come to think of it... I've forgotten that boy's name."
"'That boy'?"
"Long ago, when my older sister was still a child, she nearly drowned in a river. On that day, there was a boy who jumped into the river to try to save her."
"And?"
"My sister got lucky and was saved by a nearby adult, but... the boy who tried to save my sister and jumped into the river was swept away."
"Did he die?"
"I thought my sister was very cold for forgetting his name so quickly... But now that I try to remember, it seems I've forgotten it too."
"Hey... Hey... Why'd you tell us that now?"
She would see them, sometimes. Shadows of people she once knew.
A slight boy with pixie hair.
An austere woman with ice-cold eyes.
A tall man with a seductive grin.
A crying child clinging to her brother's arm.
She would look at them for a while- watch them from afar and wish that even just once, they would acknowledge her and validate her existence. Then she would remember that those people had forgotten her long, long ago, and it would sting. She was resigned to it now.
"Hey, who was Utena-sama again?"
"What, don't you know?"
"Remember? She's that girl who always dressed like a guy."
"She got hassled by the teachers all the time."
"Oh, now I remember. Her!"
"But didn't she get hurt real bad and hospitalized a month or two ago?"
"Huh? Hospitalized? I heard she got betrayed by a friend or a lover or something and switched schools."
"I heard she got in trouble with the Chairman of the Board of Trustees and expelled."
"Well, not like it matters."
She still had a picture of the two of them by her bed. It was obviously cropped, with the shoulder and sleeve of a bright red shirt appearing in the margins of the right side.
Most of the time, the picture remained face down on the dresser, but sometimes she'd pick it up and look at it and remember. Sometimes it would bother her that she even still had such a thing after all this time.
"Are you running away?"
"Don't worry about me anymore!"
"Are you running away? Weren't we gonna have tea and laugh together for our ten-year reunion?"
"I'm sorry, Utena-sama. I'm so sorry."
It had been ten years since she had fallen at the duel called Revolution. She would never forget that day.
Most people would never believe the story if she told them, about the prince and the witch and the hate of humanity, but she still had the scars to prove it was true. On occasion, her back would still hurt when she walked or stretched. The pain itself wasn't so bad. But not all pains are physical.
Apparently, ten years isn't enough for all wounds to heal.
"You don't know what happened, do you?"
"What?"
"It's all right now. Please go on playing make-believe "Prince" in this comfortable little coffin forever. But I must go."
"Go? To where?"
"That person hasn't vanished. She's merely left your world."
"What're you talking about? W-wait a minute! Anthy! Anthy!"
"Farewell."
"Are you running away!"
The door to the flower shop had a small set of bells attached to it, and they would ring softly whenever someone opened it. The sound reminded her of the chime of the earrings that Akio had given her, delivered to her by Touga.
She had thrown those away. She hadn't liked them anyway, really, except for the fact that they'd been given to her by someone she'd deemed important. But he'd broken her. Broken her sword, broken her body, broken her trust, broken her heart.
So, she broke the only things she had of his, and left them in scattered silver pieces on the floor. It served him right, she told herself. She sure showed him.
"Dresses don't go with swords."
The bells tinkled lightly as the door opened. Utena Tenjou looked up from the flowers she was arranging and took pause.
"Himemiya."
There she stood, so alike and unlike the photographs and memories that Utena held. Her face had matured, no longer that of a girl but that of a woman. Her hair was still long and glossy, but it was worn down. Her glasses were gone, but her eyes were the same, and just as ageless as always.
"I kinda feel like I saw a familiar landscape in a dream... I just can't remember. Can't you sleep?"
"I was looking at your face while you slept. Who are you?"
Anthy approached the counter behind which Utena stood, nearly dumbfounded. She smiled kindly. Chu-chu was perched on her shoulder.
"I'm looking for someone," she said. "She was my friend, years ago. I've been looking forever to find her. She showed me something eternal."
Utena felt her mouth go dry. "She is... that girl... She died, I'm afraid."
"Please don't open it... This coffin is meant for me. Being alive is rather sickening. Why does everyone go on living knowing they'll end up dying anyway? I wonder why I never realized that until today. Eternity couldn't possibly exist, could it?"
Of all the people in the world who could have come into her store, Utena had never expected this one. This one person who could so gracefully waltz through the door and effortlessly turn her world upside-down.
She wanted to scream, or maybe cry, or throw something breakable and pitch a fit. She stood still and was silent.
Anthy frowned. "She can't be dead. I've looked for her for so long." She set her bag down on the floor and stepped around the counter.
"Hey!" Utena exclaimed, taking a step back in alarm.
"She can't be dead," Anthy repeated, wrapping her arms around Utena's waist and hiding her face in the taller girl's shoulder.
"I'm sorry, Utena-sama. I'm so sorry."
"Why...? Himemiya... Why?"
"W-why? Why can't she be dead?" Utena asked, fearing her voice would fail her at any moment. This scenario was all too familiar. She felt her heart beating erratically in her chest, betraying her just as the girl before her betrayed her.
Anthy looked up and smiled. "She was my Prince. She saved me."
Utena thought she could hear pieces of herself breaking.
"Looking at you reminds me of my former self. But, that's exactly why you can't save her. In the end, all that stuff about the Prince and the castle holding eternity is merely make-believe."
Utena felt angry at her arms for returning Anthy's embrace, seeminly of their own volition. But then again, it didn't matter. Wasn't this what she had wanted? Shouldn't she be happy now? She wasn't so sure anymore. It turns out that getting what you want doesn't always make you happy.
She sighed deeply. Anthy still smelled like roses. The roses in her store could never smell like that.
"I missed you, Utena-sama. I came all this way to find you."
Utena almost couldn't speak for the tightness in her throat. "I missed you too, Himemiya."
"Let's have tea and laugh together ten years from now, okay?"
"Promise?"
"Yes. Definitely. "
"Are you running away! Weren't we gonna have tea and laugh together for our ten-year reunion?"
Anthy smiled up at Utena, like she had before. It was a different kind of smile, though. Not a vacant expression of false contentment, but rather, a gentle recollection of things past.
Utena realized abruptly that her face was wet, streaked with ten years worth of tears. Anthy wiped them away, kissing Utena's cheeks. "We can still laugh together, can't we, Utena-sama?"
"You know I hate it when you call me that, Himemiya," Utena replied dryly.
Anthy smiled, her eyes narrowing as she did so. "Yes, Utena-sama."
"I'll... I could put some water on the stove to boil..."
"Yes, Utena-sama."
"Now it's my turn to go to you. No matter where you are, I'll find you for sure. Wait for me, Utena."
"Hey, if anything is troubling you, tell me about it. I want to be your friend. And someday, with me..."
"Someday, with you?"
End