I can't.
"Simply amazing, Roxas." Really, you are.
"Axel."
"So you really do remember me this time." He has no idea how happy that makes me. And his eyes flash, blue lines sinking into my head and I think I feel warm, but I know I don't. I can't. That drives me crazy. "I'm so flattered!"
He's behind me, I know, I just don't care. The cold steel cuts through my back, blood pouring down, rubbing across this stupid leather jacket. Jump into the flames, back out and he's on me again. Oh, Roxas, Roxas... I -
"Why - " He misses my head and hits the ground. It fights back with a dull clank and he keeps talking. "Why are we - " I watch him run around, circle me and stop, staring. Only six feet away. Oh, Roxas. "Why the hell are we fighting?"
I don't answer him. I want to, at least I think I want to, but I can't really want anything, can I?
"Axel?"
I can't love him, not really. There's no way. I can't miss him when he's not around, even though he's never around anymore. I can't tell him how fucking sorry I am that he's going through all this shit, because I'm not sorry. I can't be.
"Axel..."
"C'mere." I smile at him. He almost drops his blades. "I'll make it all stop."
Because of all the things I can't feel, the things I can't do, think, miss, wish for - I know I can fucking end this. I don't know if I want to, because everyone keeps telling me that I can't want, but I'm going to. I could kill him, but I fucking wont. He'll have to kill me. Just three more hits, Roxy. Three more and I'll be gone, and you can go find Sora and he can go save -
But he drops those stupid keys and runs for me. His arms grab for my head. I think he's crying but that doesn't really matter. He drags my face too close to his, and now I know he's crying, now it matters. But I fucking can't -
"Why..." Roxas wraps his arms around my neck. It'd feel nice, but my back's bent at the most god-awful angle. "...I asked you. Why are we fighting?"
Isn't that obvious, Roxas? You left because you wanted to meet your other, and I didn't stop you because back then, I thought I could love you. I stayed with the Organization, with Xemnas, and now he's sent me to kill you. Simple, if you put it like that, huh? Simple; like how you're looking at me now. Simple like how I know you can't love me either, because Sora loves Riku and you are Sora.
"Shut up."
"Don't answer me, whatever. Just..." Roxas leans up, only a bit, but it's enough to make my head spin. "... can we stop?"
Can we?
"Please." He's not begging, because Roxas never begs. He's too classy. "Your back, I know it's cut to shit."
I fall to my knees, and his hands slide off my body. "Roxas..."
"Yeah, Roxas. As in, not Sora." He kneels in front of me, glaring before wrapping his arms around my neck again, face buried in my collar. "As in I can fucking love you if I feel like it."
"How - " I start, but his lips are on mine quicker than mine can finish the sentence, which is just fine. Great actually, because kissing Roxas is a whole lot better that killing Roxas. I've tried to kill him more than kiss him in the past year, which really isn't like me at all, even though I'm quite the asshole. I used to kiss him all the time before - oh god is that his tongue?
"R-Roxas," I say after he backs off, breathless.
"I don't care." He lulls against me, shorter even when we're both sitting. "I love you."
"But we don't even have hearts. How - " He punches me in the gut.
"What did I just say, you fuckstick?"
"Right. Love you too."
End.
x
It started out really sad, and ending silly..ily. What can I say? It's sorta AU, or just AE (alternant ending), but who knows. It's two am, anything could happen. :D