Strange Impulses:

Wind whistled around the windows. Snow blurred the images of what lay outside. All that could be known was that it was cold and windy.

Inside was nice, dry, and warm. The air was still and silent except for the crackling of the flames, pages turning, and the scratching of a quill.

Firelight flickered lazily across the walls as Severus Snape glanced up from his work. His stomach rumbled, and he suddenly realized he'd been grading for five whole hours straight. Normally he wouldn't give in to such midnight cravings, but tonight he went to the kitchens to get something to eat.

Almost immediately, several house-elves ran up to him. He never went in the kitchens if he could help it, the poor things in slavery reminded him too much of the deeds he himself had done in the name of the Dark Lord. He couldn't stand slavery.

He stated his request in a quiet voice, and several of the elves ran off to fetch food and drink before the rest steered him towards a seat in front of the roaring fire. Once he was seated, the others returned with fruit and firewhisky.

As he sat in front of the fire, he again had this odd urge to do something. He summoned parchment and a quill, before sitting and staring blankly at it. What am I doing?

Almost before he knew it, the page was covered in writing.

A flower wilting,

A shadow passing,

they stop to speak,

and so we began.

You were the light

in my life,

you were all that was bright

in my eyes.

I still wonder why you chose him over me,

I still wonder what we could be.

I wish I had not said those things,

I wish you could have seen past my mistakes

and seen my sorrow.

I wish I had earned your forgiveness before it was too late.

To see you with him,

burned a hole in my heart.

A hole that has never healed.

Will never heal.

I loved you with all my heart,

why couldn't you see that?

I wish I could apologize still,

would you have believed me if I did?

Forgiven me if I had?

I look at your boy,

him, with your eyes,

and see you looking right back at me.

I look at your son,

and wish he was mine.

He should be mine.

We should have been us.

I'm sorry, Lily...

Sitting back and looking it over, he realized how much better and lighter he felt. Like he'd dropped a load...lifted a weight off his shoulders. All of it was true. He'd loved Lily until the end. Now there was nothing he could do. He'd apologized over and over, and she had refused to forgive him.

The last two verses scared him. Other than the fact he'd written anything resembling poetry at all, wishing Harry was his son seemed a bit extreme, even to him, the author of those lines!

Severus Tobias Snape, an author... he snorted. Who in their right mind would believe that?

Thinking about it, it was true. Lily should have been his therefore her children, or child, should have been his. If she had been his, she could still be alive, Harry might even have had siblings!

Oh, lord, more Harrys in the world...Not a good idea.

Then again, if he were Severus' son, he would be different. Everything would be different. Severus sat and pondered how that would have affected the Wizarding world until the clock chimed three in the morning. He jumped, startled, and sighed. Tomorrow would be a long day.

Yawning as he headed to his chambers, he wondered briefly how others, mainly Potter himself, would react to all that had happened tonight. Snorting quietly to himself, he quickly dismissed the silly notion of telling anyone. After all, the strange impulses he'd had tonight were only a one-time thing.

Severus opened his eyes blearily to find that, for the first time since Lily had died, he'd actually overslept for once.

Of all days...!

Hurrying to his wardrobe, he hastily pulled on some clothes as a timid knock sounded at the door. That damned fool Potter would get himself a detention on a Saturday morning! And of course since Severus was the only staff member who never had problems getting up early, they assigned the brat to him!

"Come in!" he snarled in the general direction of the door.

He heard the door open and close quietly. Do I really scare the brat that much? He wondered briefly. Would I have made as good of a father as I would like to think? Or would I have been like my father? He shuddered. No. Lily would never have let me...and I promised myself I never would.

He stepped out to his office, not knowing that his strange impulses would follow him, nor that his life was about to change forever.

A/N: Thanks to my beta Dest for going over this so last minute! Awesome job!

This was written for Professor Monse's homework on Hogwarts Online II Forum, prompt 'Midnight Cravings'.

Thank you for reading and please review! -May be continued with enough support- -hint hint-