Story Tags: Dark, Gore, Violence, Humor, Fem!Naruto, SI, OC Behavior, Abuse of multiple types, Death, Language
Disclaimer: Sadly nothing in this story belongs to me except perhaps what original ideas there are, Naruto itself belongs to Kisihimoto and not to me sadly. *cries*
Author's Note: Alright, the overall preference of you, my readers, was for this to be posted as a separate story rather than having the new chapters replace the old ones. I've gone at a different pace than before, particularly in regards to Noriko meeting the Kyuubi. My hope is to have smoothed things a bit and made them a bit more logical, and a bit more emotional. That was a big thing, I hadn't been really comfortable with how Noriko had been expressing emotion and I wanted it to be a little more apparent and clear. As always, read and tell me what you think, I really, really appreciate input from my readers.
I will apologize here and now for Kurama's CAPS LOCK yelling. Know that it will be rare after this chapter, so please don't worry too much about it, This is just the fox being an ass in this chapter.
[MC First Person]
My health had never been the best. From when I was little I was prone to getting sick and as I grew older it only got worse. Between severe and chronic migraines, seizures, and other various issues, I was extremely limited in where I could go in life and what I could do. And now at the age of twenty-five, barely finished with my college education, I found myself laid out in a hospital bed, trying to square the newest revelation with my mind.
I was dying.
Sure it was something I had come to actually expect as I grew older and my illnesses got progressively worse, but to have a man in the standard blue hospital smok stand in front of you and tell you what was going to happen? It was...chilling, I think is the best word to describe it. We all know that we'll die eventually, but when someone gives you a time table saying 'hey you're going to die in six months' it really hits you.
It's about to end.
You're out of time.
You'll never see your loved ones again.
It hurt, not physically, but emotionally and mentally it hurt. I couldn't accept it, I didn't want to accept it. I still had things I wanted to do. Hell, I still had debts to pay off from college! The sheer fact that I wouldn't be able to make any use of my double degree, the masteries I'd worked so hard to achieve, was equally infuriating and depressing. I had years ago pushed most of my hobbies to the side, no longer permitted by my failing health, instead limited to what I could do from a laptop, and now those were useless too.
It just left a gaping hole in my heart to know everything I had accomplished was going to be pointless in the end.
And so I gave up.
It was pitiful, and in hindsight, cruel and wrong of me to do so. I could see the pain on my family's faces when they visited me, the years they shed and the forced smiles they made as they watched me waste away before their very eyes.
And I hated it, and myself too, in hindsight.
I should have done better, I should have made them happier. I should have made it easier on them as they awaited the inevitable. And that will always be my greatest shame, that I didn't do all I could for them.
But as I closed my eyes for the last time, I let oblivion take me, falling away into the comforting blackness as all the aches and pains of my body faded with my life.
'It's strange' I thought, 'Shouldn't I be unable to feel anything if I just died?' I could feel that I was moving, jostling around a little as I was taken somewhere. There were sounds around me, cries of what I knew to be panic from my time in the hospital, the crackling of dry grass under foot, and shouting. The air carried the heavy scent of blood and ash, so strong that it was almost stifling as I began to move and struggle, now noticing the slightly rough cloth wrapped around my body, providing a comfortable warmth as I opened my eyes, just in time to look up at a smoke filled sky as the movement came to a halt as I felt a solid surface beneath my back as I squirmed in my now loosened constraints.
I could hear someone crying just outside my line of sight as a ghastly presence formed around me, a horrendous chill running down my spine despite my previous warmth as something faded into existence almost directly above me.
'WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!' I immediately thought.
Its enormous form was clad in some kind of loose fitting white cloth, with dark blue-gray skin covering its exposed and seemingly emaciated chest and its snarling face where a stick or something similar was clenched in between its jaws. Capping everything off was an enormous mane of white-blonde hair that only added to the being's disturbing appearance.
My fascinated horror only lasted a few more scant seconds before it was blocked by the face of a crying my hovering protectively above me. His hair was a bright, vivid yellow, the color of sunshine I briefly considered, before I lost myself in his eyes.
Oh those deep blue eyes. They were perhaps the most beautiful and enticing eyes I had ever seen, filled with emotions that I was struggling to comprehend; sadness, regret, anger, fear, and overwhelming everything else, love.
I couldn't understand why I was wherever I was. I couldn't understand why he was crying. I couldn't understand why he struck me as being almost infuriatingly familiar.
But I could understand what he was saying, and it chilled me to the core, even deeper than the presence of the creature hidden from my view. It is was a series of words that would haunt me for years to come once I finally learned the language.
"Forgive me, Noriko."
I felt my brow struggle to furrow at his words, confused at their almost familiar sound, before blackness swarmed the edges of my vision, rapid footsteps echoing in my ears as I felt my eyes creep shut.
The warmth that had surrounded me began to fade and a chill replaced it, making me shudder as I pulled myself up to my feet, stumbling to my knees as as my head swam before clearing. "Jesus Fucking Christ..." I muttered, "What the fuck was that?"
Bringing my hands up to my head as I sat back I took in my surroundings; dark, wet, messy, and overall rather uninviting. A frown twisted my lips until all the color drained from my face as a deep, bass growl sounded behind me followed by a ridiculously loud voice that left my head ringing.
"HUMAN! BASTARD FILTH, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING HERE?!"
Whirling as quickly as I could, which sent a rather nasty wave of nausea through my system, I found myself face-to-face with what had to be the largest animal I had ever seen, that anyone had ever seen.
Throwing myself backwards, which didn't work too well in my position, I scrambled back several yards which gave me a much better view of the creature before me. There was a niggling thought in my head that said recognized the creature, but that was waylaid as it roared at me and continued yelling.
"SPEAK YOU WRETCHED CREATURE! WHY ARE YOU HERE? ARE YOU SOME MOCKERY LEFT HERE BY THAT WRETCHED NINJA?"
"Ky-K-Kyuubi..." I barely managed to stammer out, pointing a shaking had at the creature I know recognized. The Kyuubi no Youko, the nine-tailed fox, Kurama. It seemed death was the least of my issues now.
"SO YOU CAN SPEAK. NOW ANSWER ME YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR LIFE."
My mouth slammed shut as I struggled to keep my flight instinct from overwhelming me, something that was aides by the supremely oppressive feeling that just pushed down on me.
"SPEAK!"
Finally giving in I spoke, whimpering out a reply as I tried in vain to pull my eyes away from the two bloody red orbs gazing down on me.
"SPEAK UP YOU FILTHY MONKEY!"
"...I-I d-died..." I whimpered softly.
"LOUDER!"
"...I died..." I said again, a little louder, silently praising myself for not stuttering.
"LOUDER DAMN IT!"
I felt something crack at the order from the fox as I finally slammed my eyes shut and yelled back.
"I DIED YOU GREAT-FIERY-THROW RUG!"
Instantly my eyes snapped open as I slapped my hands over my mouth in fear and mortification.
"...YOU DIED?" The fox asked, incredulity somehow coming across in the outrageously loud voice.
Nodding I pulled my hands away from my mouth as I softly said, "I-I died of organ failure in the hospital."
Silence answered me for several moments as a mild stinging pain assaulted my head, quickly growing into a severe headache and making my eyes water as I winced and rubbed my temples.
"...CURIOUS..." The fox said, its massive head tilting slightly to the side as its eyes narrowed in thought, "I WOULD THINK YOU WERE LYING BUT YOUR MEMORIES SAY OTHERWISE."
A spike of cold fear settled in my gut before quickly fading as I shivered, looking eyes with the Kyuubi as it looked me over with appraising eyes.
"THIS IS...SURPRISING..."
I quirked an eyebrow in confusion before I felt my memories of the Naruto manga and anime and movies rise to the surface of my mind unbidden as I realized the fox was sorting through my mind, giving me a nasty headache as it did so.
"G-Get the fuck out of my head!" I tried to shout.
"QUIET MONKEY, I HAVE YET TO DECIDE IF YOU ARE WORTH DEALING WITH."
That statement only confused me before I sighed and rubbed my temples, finally feeling the digging sensation in my brain fade away.
"You done yet?" I muttered softly, not expecting a response. It seemed though that I underestimated the prowess of the Kyuubi's ears as it refocused on me.
"QUITE. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW THAT...MANGA CAME TO BE, BUT THAT KNOWLEDGE SHOULD BE WORTHWHILE. I DO NOT INTEND TO BE STUCK IN SUCH USELESS VESSEL."
"That's not my problem, so why are you telling me?" I asked annoyance coming to the forefront as the last of the pain disappeared and the oppressive feeling that I finally decided was killing intent lifted.
There was a deep chuffing sound that took me a moment to classify as I watched the fox's shaking shoulders before I realized that what I was hearing was laughter. Anger burned at the amusement the Bijuu was deriving from me until the fox spoke.
"OH HOW WRONG YOU ARE. IT IS MOST CERTAINLY YOUR PROBLEM."
"And why's that?" I asked warily, a steadily sinking sensation in my gut telling me I wasn't going to like the answer.
"IT IS YOUR PROBLEM LITTLE MONKEY, BECAUSE YOU'RE THE 'MAIN CHARACTER' IT WOULD SEEM."
I stared incredulously at the Kyuubi for several moments moment before I sighed heavily and closed my eyes as I swore.
"Oh for fuck's sake."
The Kyuubi's chuffing laughter followed me into the darkness as I passed out.
The next few days were blurry while I was awake. I was in a crib for the most part in a large room, and visitors were few and far between. Of course the Sandaime visited often enough and even held and took care of me to a degree, but they were still short visits as the old man was undoubtably dealing with the fallout of the Kyuubi attack.
This left me with far more time to myself to think than I would have liked. As now I wasn't just reacting to what was happening like I had with the Kyuubi, but rather that I had time to think, mull over my options, and consider just what my circumstances meant.
Really it just left me panicking at the fact that A: I had been reborn into a fictional world, and B: I was the main character of said world.
After close to a week, during which time I had been moved into an orphanage which had been so far pleasant enough -they fed me and left me alone so I wasn't complaining- as I had yet to see any of the hatred and dislike that had been present for Naruto in the story.
That time had also allowed me to reach a conclusion: I needed help. I needed help in just about every avenue available if I wanted to even survive, as even if Naruto had managed on his sabotaged education, I wasn't sure that I could.
And since speech was unavailable to me at the moment -all my weak lips and tongue could manage were gurgles- I turned my attention to the only option I had: the Kyuubi.
So I settled in and worked to meditate, trying to force myself into my mind scape so I could talk to the fox. A slow process, but a necessary one. I could tell that the constant calmness and quiet I displayed was worrying and even disturbing to the caretakers of the orphanage, but I set that aside for now, I needed to speak with Kurama and damn the consequences and everything else.
Surprisingly, that was my last thought as I felt my consciousness fade only to return a moment later with the sewer of my mind and the hulking form of the Kyuubi looking down at me from behind the seal.
"SO YOU HAVE RETURNED, AND SOONER THAN I EXPECTED. TELL ME WHY YOU ARE HERE MONKEY."
Grimacing at the condescension in the fox's booming voice, I sat up from where I laid on the floor to meet its crimson gaze, something that sent shivered down my spine despite my best attempt to stay steady.
Finding my mouth suddenly dry, I swallowed and licked my lips quickly before replying, "I...I want to make a deal."
"OH? AND WHAT COULD YOU OFFER ME LITTLE MONKEY? I HAVE NO DESIRE FOR FRIENDSHIP OR CAMARADERIE LIKE THAT STORY BOOK CHARACTER."
The acid in its voice made me wince but I sat up straighter as I replied, "I can offer you your eventual freedom as well as revenge on Uchiha Madara."
"MY EVENTUAL FREEDOM? HOW DO I KNOW YOU WOULD HOLD SUCH A PROMISE? AND REVENGE IS SOMETHING I CAN GET ON MY OWN."
"You don't know, unless you have some way of making binding agreements," I replied, a queasy feeling in my gut as I continued, "Above everything though, if I fail and die, you get to come with me, and if that happens you lose both your freedom and your revenge. So it's really in your best interest to help me."
The Kyuubi's eyes narrowed and the distaste it had for me was palpable as it replied, "...UNFORTUNATELY, YOU ARE CORRECT..."
Mentally I cheered at the fox's admission, barely keeping a grin off my face.
"...AS SUCH YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO MAKE A DEAL, THEN LET ME HEAR YOUR TERMS."
Subduing my elation at having gotten this far with the fox after only two meetings, I nodded and began to give my terms.
"First and foremost, I promise you your freedom. I promise that before my death I will see you released back into the world, and should I be captured by Akatsuki and in imminent danger of extraction, I will release you."
That part left a bitter taste in my mouth, but I grimaced and continued.
"I promise that I will put all of my resources and abilities towards the elimination of Uchiha Madara and Zetsu to ensure he disappears forever."
Kyuubi gave a tiny inclination of its head in acknowledgement.
"NOW WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, MONKEY?"
This was going to be the tricky and complicated part. I had a whole list of things that I would like from the Kyuubi, but I wasn't sure just how many of them I could get. Still, I took and breath a and began to speak.
"I want your advice when I ask for it first off, you've lived for millennia and have seen more than any human ever has, as such I want your advice, should you have any, when I ask for it."
A subtle nod of agreement was the fox's reply.
"I want you to help my body beyond the automatic regeneration. This would include helping my body develop properly despite the diet I'll likely be limited to. Next to that would be improvements to my body, increasing the density and strength of my bones and doing the same for my muscles. I'd also like your help improving my nervous system should it be possible as well as my other physical traits. The methods can be decided upon at a later date."
A pause and then another nod.
"Until such a time as you're freed from me, I would like you to tutor me in the possible techniques and abilities you have seen over the ages. I'll likely ask for specific types, but otherwise it would be up to you what you teach me."
"ANYTHING ELSE LITTLE MONKEY?"
"I want my memories preserved. The information they hold is invaluable so I can't risk them fading with time and disappearing or being distorted."
"...SURPRISINGLY WISE OF YOU, MONKEY. I AM IMPRESSED THAT YOU ARE CAPABLE OF SUCH FORETHOUGHT."
I grit my teeth but didn't reply, watching as a grin formed on the Kyuubi's face, the Bijuu obviously aware that the verbal barbs had registered.
"Then is there anyway you want to use to formalize this deal?" I asked, giving our conversation a shove to get going.
"YES. WE SHALL BOTH SWEAR UPON OUR SOULS TO INARI-SAMA TO UPHOLD OUR ENDS OF THE AGREEMENT."
I perked up a little at that, curious that the deity Inari carried over into this new world.
"Alright, then let's do it."
"VERY WELL MONKEY, BUT BE AWARE THAT KNOWINGLY FAILING TO UPHOLD THE AGREEMENT WITHOUT THE FORGIVENESS OF THE OTHER PARTY SHALL RESULT IN FORFEITING YOUR SOUL TO INARI-SAMA."
I nodded and swallowed, not liking how I imagined the aftermath of such a happening proceeding.
"THEN GIVE YOUR OATH."
Without hesitation I did.
The weeks following a second meeting with the fox to determine what changes would be made to my body, I found it surprisingly easy to behave like a normal baby. This of course meant that I was crying at all hours of the knight, but this was something I just couldn't help.
After all, the Kyuubi was rewiring my entire body all the damn time, making tweaks as it felt they were necessary. This lead to the caretakers of the orphanage finally becoming less concerned about me, though I could see the resentment starting to show in their eyes when they looked at me.
It was a start, but it would be a while before I could be out and functioning on my own.
The days and weeks crawled by unbearably slowly, my adult mind far outpacing what limited options for interaction there was around me. This included the few story books I had for reading which assisted me in getting down some basic hiragana and katakana thanks to the few times I was read to and a few notes on the side. What helped the most was the fact everyone only spoke Japanese, or at least some dialect of it.
A few words were different, but enough were similar that I could fit them together with increasing speed as I came to understand more and more. This did eventually lead to me asking the Kyuubi why we could understand each other while in my head, the answer to which had been surprisingly simple.
"THERE IS NO LANGUAGE IN THE MIND GAKI. CONCEPTS AND INTENTS FORM THE MESSAGE AND OUR MINDS SEND AND RECEIVE THEM THE SAME WAY SO THAT THEY ARE COMPREHENDED."
It had been a rather enlightening if short conversation which had settled the issue nicely for me.
Back to the present though. I was nearing on my fourth birthday, which thanks to my preserved memories meant that I would soon be tossed out on the street. This would be a blessing and a curse as it would mean that life was going to get infinitely harder, but I would have the opportunity to begin growing stronger without much oversight if any. I could already walk fairly well and speak well enough too, though my vocabulary was a bit lacking.
I had even learned the basics to and the theory behind a number of jutsus, even if I hadn't practiced them, and my chakra control was reasonable. It seemed that being truly aware when my chakra first started becoming tangible meant that I had a much better feel for it than I would bet most others did, and it allowed me to meditate for hours on end, just playing with the flow inside my body.
The best part behind my hopefully-soon-to-be-enormous-growth was that when the Kyuubi preserved my memories, it meant that the entirety of everything was crystal clear when I thought about it. Every page of every book, every face of everyone, and every lesson of every class.
Everything.
That meant that as soon as I had the room and privacy, I could try all the jutsus I had read about on the Naruto wikia that had always seemed so epic.
That said, it also meant that I remembered EVERYTHING.
I was truly and completely mortified by some of the memories that the Kyuubi had dredged up to taunt me with.
I really, really hadn't wanted to remember just how embarrassingly I had behaved that day in the fifth grade.
Seriously, I didn't.
And for that reason the Kyuubi turned it into a game of trying to mess up my concentration with whatever shameful, embarrassing memories it could locate.
Still I had more to prepare for, and just thinking wasn't going to get anything done for me.
-4 Years Since Kyuubi-
The Sandaime Hokage paid me a visit on my fourth birthday, just like he had on my three previous ones, only this time I was old enough to go outside with him when he invited me for lunch.
I was a little standoffish at first, something I couldn't help as I knew far more about him than anyone would likely be comfortable with me knowing, and that foreknowledge left me edgy. Eventually though, I couldn't help but relax around the man. Hiruzen's eyes were soft and kind and his voice was gentle and warm. I just couldn't help it as a smile made it to my face and I took an offered hand to walk alongside him.
I'm not sure at what point it started -though I'm sure reviewing my memories would tell me- but I fell into the habit of calling him 'Jiji'. Maybe it was the fact I knew he wouldn't stop me, or that he was one of the few people I could rely on, but it didn't matter in hindsight. The Sandaime accepted my name for him and gave me what was likely the best day I'd had since my birth and at least several months before my death.
It was over all too soon, but the experience was something I knew would stay with me until I died again and, just maybe, beyond that too.
-break-
It was only a few short days after the Hokage's visit that I found myself tossed out into the street. Interestingly, the caretakers hadn't been the ones to do it, rather it was the matron who seemed to own the place. My previous interactions with the woman had been limited but I could tell that she didn't like me, and the feeling had quickly become mutual.
She took what opportunities could be had when I messed up yell at and castigate me, assigning me extra chores for slightest mistakes when she was around to witness them.
So as she swore and yelled at me after tossing me out, I quickly scurried into the alleyway across the street and did my best to disappear before sitting down with a heavy sigh and taking stock of my situation.
I had the relatively good clothes on that I had worn during the Sandaime's visit, a few dozen ryo that had been a birthday gift, and three stale cookies that I had snuck out of the kitchen and had been caught with. Fortunately the matron hadn't seen fit to take them away when she tossed me out.
'First things first,' I laid out for myself mentally, 'Find shelter, find water, and then find food. I can steal the latter if I have to but I need to find somewhere to sleep first.'
Getting up from where I sat down, I quickly took stock of my surroundings before venturing off to find somewhere I could use for shelter. As I made my decision, I could feel the mental presence of the Kyuubi over my shoulder so to speak as it observed the course I took and the actions I made. The fact it was constantly judging me was aggravating but it still picked up things that I missed sometimes.
-5 Years and 11 Months Since Kyuubi-
"Thank you Teuchi-san!" I chirped happily, adjusting my position on a stool to better reach the counter.
Ichiraku Teuchi for his part chuckled and reached over, messing my hair with a hand before he set the bowl of Miso ramen in front of me.
"Itadakimasu!" I said happily, splitting apart my chop sticks before digging in to the alluring food. While I had merely been curious at first at the sight of the Ichiraku Ramen stand, the offer of a free bowl from Teuchi's daughter had been enough to draw me in to try it out.
And really I couldn't fault Naruto any more for eating it so much. Their ramen was to die for, honestly I couldn't remember the last time I had had such a tasty meal.
'THAT'S LIKELY BECAUSE YOU LIVED IN THE DAMN ORPHANAGE FOR FOUR YEARS AND THE HOSPITAL FOR A YEAR BEFORE THAT, GAKI.' Kyuubi echoed in my head.
I couldn't stop a snort before I returned my attention to the food as I silently thought about how my relationship with the fox had changed.
For the first year and a half it had been just as much of a surly bastard as it had been depicted in the manga and anime. Eventually though, some measure of respect entered our partnership and it had only grown over years. It was a fragile and tiny amount of respect, but it was there and the fact that I had managed to earn it through hard work and sheer determination left me feeling just a little proud I reflected as I worked my way through a second bowl of heavenly ramen.
I had gone from monkey to chimp to now gaki, things were looking up I thought with a grin as I set the appropriate ryo on the counter to pay for my meal before hopping off my stool and cheerfully waving goodbye to Teuchi and Ayane who had come out from the back of the shop.
Grinning to myself, I disappeared into the back alleys and headed to the small, abandoned shop that I had made into a home. I had techniques to practice and I certainly didn't need Kyuubi yelling at me for being lazy again.
"I STILL BELIEVE THIS IDEA OF YOURS IS DOOMED TO FAILURE." The Kyuubi rumbled from behind his bars.
"And why is that? You can't possibly know that this won't work," I shot back, glaring up at the fox, feeling my temper steadily build as we spoke.
"THE SHEER EFFORT AND INTELLIGENCE YOU WILL NEED TO EXPEND TO BREAK DOWN EVEN A SINGLE JUTSU IS SOMETHING THAT I DOUBT YOU ARE CAPABLE OF GAKI."
"You wanna bet?"
Chuffing laughter echoed through the sewer as the Kyuubi asked, "AND WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO OFFER ME? WE ALREADY HAVE OUR DEAL."
"...How about one reasonable favor?" I offered.
"A FAVOR...THAT IS ACCEPTABLE."
"Good," I cheered, standing from my seat on the sewer floor as I planted my left hand on my hip and pointed up at the Kyuubi with my right, "Then you can bet your favor that I'll succeed, Dattebane!"
"Oh for fuck's sake...did I really just do that?" I asked sadly, hanging my head and putting my hands over my face to hide my suddenly burning cheeks. Silence answered my question though before the Kyuubi broke out into peals of roaring laughter at my apparent verbal tic.
The damn thing had to be genetic, there is no other way I would say it.
Feeling my cheeks burn as I turned on the balls of my feet and walked away, I put my nose in the air and tried to marshal some dignity.
For those curious, I'm listing Noriko's current ability rankings based on the scale used in the data books. Her current capabilities are listed first with her current theoretical maximums in parenthesis. These maximums assume she that she was fully developed and trained like a clan child rather than a rejected orphan. She'll be quick to start catching up on those abilities soon, but for now, this is where she is in terms of strength.
Ninjutsu: 1.5(5)
Taijutsu: 0.5(2)
Genjutsu: 0.5(3)
Intelligence: 4(4)
Strength: 2(2.5)
Speed: 2(3)
Stamina: 3(4)
Hand Seals: 0.5(1.5)
Fūinjutsu: 1(3)
Total: 15(28)
Author's Note: So...the first chapter has been rewritten. The next chapter will still include the rape scene though it will be both more and less violent than in the original in some ways. I hope you guys liked it and that you'll let me know your opinions on it.
Reviews are love! Please tell me what you think about this.