Okay so I just republished 'Pixelated Desires'. Sorry about the previous formatting! I had no idea how to do it so thanks for your patience regarding that. To those who DMed me – sorry but I can't read them now as fanfiction isn't letting me view them till 24hours have passed…Here's the first chapter AGAIN, nothing has changed but the formatting should be a hell of a lot better than before x

My eyes opened lazily at the gentle rustling next to me on the bed, I felt the weight shift suddenly and then disappear as she swiftly got out of bed and padded out to the open double doors. The air was cool and the soft breeze tickled my skin as I sat there watching her move effortlessly and ghost-like towards the awakening world. Her long brown hair sashayed to her hips rhythm, barely grazing her sloping shoulders. I shifted slightly so I could get a better look at her form as her hands grazed the balcony rails before resting lightly upon them. The curtains billowed outward with the breeze, dancing gently against the doorframes in an endless duet, tugging and pulling in all directions while she remained resolutely still.

She stood resolute –, I felt both intimate and intrusive witnessing this moment. She was immutable; her figure shaped the background like a current, carving a deeper permanence. She was an island amidst the chaos of my life, she was the elusive Calypso of my mind; her own mind was free to roam the ephemeral worlds. Her hands were delicate and long, yet they held my crumbling soul within their palms as if it were nothing. I resisted the urge to slip out of bed and join her –, I feared if she were moved suddenly her island would crack and disappear into the mist taking my being with her, the world losing its silken fragility till I'm left with mortality in one hand, immortality in the other.

I licked my lips to prevent them chapping as the breeze wafted through the double doors. I had only been to her house twice before, but this however was unlike any other time. This time I was granted entrance into her bedroom. She guided me to the bed with not so much a whisper, gently placing a worn t-shirt over my bra (all other clothing removed in the shower earlier). She then laid next to me after she herself had changed, I closed my eyes so I couldn't see, I didn't want the blush to creep up my cheeks if I glanced at her figure and endless, I mean, endless legs. She shifted over so her body lay next to mine and I could feel her breath against my cheek causing me to shiver with desire. I opened my eyes just a crack and was immediately taken aback by the warmth of her gaze, never in a million years did I expect for anyone to look at me with such…love. My breath hitched slightly as her mouth flickered in a soft, lopsided smile, her eyes growing dark as she leaned in to press her lips lightly against mine. I leaned into the kiss, feeling the sparks shoot across my spine as I tangled my left hand into her hair, pulling her slowly towards me – closer to my want – closer to my being – immeasurably closer as if I couldn't get enough. I really couldn't. She moaned gently as my lips opened slightly and allowed her tongue entrance, flickering gently across my own. Her hips shifting so she straddled me my hips grinded upwards towards her in anticipation, I could barely breathe, my heart was fluttering madly as her hands gripped my hips with surprising strength, I leaned in further and further into her touch, I couldn't get enough, I was insatiable and I was about to let my hands drift –

"Gail, we should stop"

I leant back against the pillows in surprise my face flushed and heart pounding, "No, please Holly, please, I need this, I need you" I whispered, my voice rough and husky. I reached upwards to her face and cupped her cheek with both hands.

Her eyes grew to a dark onyx as she listened to my plea and for a moment I thought I would win out but she shook her head softly and sat up, still straddling me, her weight shifted slightly as she shook her head slowly, "Gail, honey, we can't. I mean, not that I don't want to, I reaaaalllyyy want to but I can't, you can't, we can't or must not or whatever. I don't want you to regret this. Any of this, tonight has been probably one of the hardest nights of your life – we can't add 'this' on top of it. You should get some rest," her eyes searched my face throughout her entire ramble, she was obviously nervous I would be upset at her breaking off such a heated moment.

I sighed, removing my hands from her face running them through my ruffled hair, "No, no, I- I understand, you're right we should probably wait till things have calmed down a little before we get carried away. But, um" I paused, unsure of how to continue with my compromise, I had never asked this from anyone before, "Ca-can you hold me then?"

I dropped my eyes away from Holly, my voice sounded so pathetic and lost as it echoed across the room. Holly moved off of me quickly and I immediately missed the warmth of her body. However, just as quickly she wrapped her arms around me, enveloping me in her scent and the heat of her soft body. I tangled my legs with hers and eventually met her gaze. I felt as though I could drown in those eyes, those eyes spoke of nothing by compassion. Mine, on the other hand were ice, they reflected my character, so far from Holly's I felt a little nervous. She was so beautiful and lovely whereas I was cold and harsh. I was unrelentingly rash and hot-headed. Why did she stick around?

She seemed to see right through my little rant in my head and leaned over and brushed her lips against mine in a languid kiss. It was not filled just with desire, but with hope. Holly carried with her something I couldn't, she carried hope and possibility wherever she strode. We were opposites and yet I was drawn to her like a moth to a flame. Yet, as a flame she was dangerous for me, she saw my darker secrets and drew them into the light; she was hypnotic and it was easy to be lost in the delirious light. I was scared to lose myself, what if I got burned?

Again, Holly smiled, "Gail, you never have to ask if I want to hold you. You're amazing, you know that right? You've been through an impossible day and you made it out alive, you're here with me, something which I was worried wouldn't happen. I know that right now you want comfort but I don't want you seeking something that may scare you out of your tree," her eyes lit with soft teasing as she finished whispering into my ear. I laughed quietly, my shoulders shaking at her statement, If only you knew what you did to me. I'm terrified of you, but more so of me – I don't want to ruin you Holly, I can't. It would ruin me.

I snuggled deeper into her embrace, "Bloody cat analogy. Shut up nerd, go to sleep so I can wake up and you can wait on me hand and foot…I am scarred ya' know." I shut my eyes and settled deeper into the embrace before muttering, "Oh, you're also a tease. I like it. Weirdo." I felt her smile against me as she kissed my forehead. A little later I was asleep in her arms.

X

Holly couldn't sleep, unlike the gorgeous blonde who snuffled through the night, which was totally the cutest thing ever, Holly couldn't get her mind to shut down. The events of the day continually replayed through her head on an endless loop: the interrogation room, the hallway rejection, the waiting room reunion and the heated bedroom teasing. The memories flashed past her eyes, pixelated fragments that haunted her.

Did Gail want this? Did Gail want me? Could Gail just be suffering through a crisis? Will she wake up and run away? Holly didn't know if she could take such blatant rejection again. Also, what about her job? Holly didn't think she had even been so scared for someone in her life. She knew Gail would never leave the police force and neither did Holly want her to, but she couldn't shake the perpetual worry that loomed over her. Somehow, she didn't think it would ever go away.

Also, It hadn't escaped Holly's notice that Gail's desires in the interrogation room were only made clear by the obvious stress of the day. Would she have even acted upon them if there were no external crisis? Holly didn't want to continue pondering such questions, not when she had the object of her desires lying blissfully by her side, her legs tangled in a knot with Holly's, but she couldn't help herself. So, resigned to another night of sleeplessness Holly gently extracted herself from Gail's grasp, inhaling slightly as Gail's unconscious hand drifted over her midriff and Gail sighed, reaching her fingers out subconsciously, looking for the warmth of Holly's skin.

Holly walked over to the double doors that lead to the balcony and opened them slightly, it was warm that night anyway and they needed some sort of ventilation. She propped the doors open so they wouldn't slam shut if the wind changed direction and padded out onto the cool balcony that overlooked a small townhouse garden. The garden was small, but well kept, lined with rose bushes that threatened to creep up the surrounding garden walls while a carefully cut patch of grass filled the space. It was simple; it was elegant and crisp (Holly decided to ignore the barbeque in the right-hand corner). Yet, Holly didn't bother to look out at the detail, it was a vague haze to her. What she really saw, was the ghost of Gail in front of her. Her dancing lips painted red, her blue eyes that flashed against her ivory skin. The ghost smiled hauntingly at her – she was breathtakingly stunning, but transient. She vanished as quickly as she appeared in Holly's mind. It mirrored the woman in her bed: brazen and stoic, yet flighty. She could disappear without a trace, leaving nothing but Holly in her wake.

Gail was one of those ice-sculptures one sees at a wedding. She was beautiful but fragile, one wrong touch could cause her to shatter and one instance of neglect would result in puddles of misery. She was as remote as the sculpture, the painstaking bride of isolation. No one could read her thoughts. Perhaps that is what drew Holly to Gail, her mysteriousness. All Holly knew for certain however was that her feelings for Gail were stronger than she could imagine. She sighed and allowed her hands to rest against the railing, she just hoped Gail felt the same.

Just as Holly was about to head back inside she felt warm hands wrap around her waist, causing her to jump slightly,

"You know, nerd, I thought the jumping thing was what I was bringing to the table. Albeit, your jump is like," Gail leaned over the balcony without removing her hands from Holly's hips, "10 feet – I think you'll be okay but I'd prefer if you didn't. Someone with a sprained ankle can't make my pancakes effectively. And I'm not going down a flight of stairs to let you back in the house. You would be out there on your own O'Malley."

Holly chuckled softly at the Aristocats reference before turning her head slightly and reaching for the blonde's lips. They met briefly with pleasure, "Well, I don't about pancakes…Duchess" she smirked, pulling away slightly, "But since you're a cat and all, I bought some IAMS to satisfy your – Ow!" she exclaimed after Gail poked her in the ribs none too gently, a wicked grin upon her lips.

"Don't test me nerd,"

"haha alright, alright let's go- wait! What time is it?"

Gail shrugged and her lips curved upwards in a smile as Holly looked down at her watch,

"It's only 3?!" Holly yelped, "Ohhh no, we're going back to bed for a couple more hours first," Holly turned so she was facing Gail, examining her gentle fears juxtaposed by those cool eyes. Those piercing eyes. Gail's eyebrows quirked upwards suggestively and Holly laughed, "No Gail, just sleep."

The blonde pouted briefly before wrapping Holly in a strong hug, her small arms felt surprisingly firm against Holly's frame. As soon as Holly was settling into the embrace though, Gail shifted slightly and pulled back. Holly tilted her head in confusion as Gail entwined her hands with Holly's.

"What was that for?"

Gail's eyes darkened slightly as an emotion flickered across her face. Fear? Desire? Was she scared of me? Of us?

Her eyes shifted again to a lighter shade as she eased Holly's worries, "I just wanted to hold you, you've been holding me this entire time. And I need y- I need, I-I need you" She stuttered, embarrassment clouding her face as she groaned inwardly, she had never been this open before. Gail's mouth opened again to say something else but then closed it again before pulling Holly closer towards her so she could feel her breath against her cheek. They were tantalisingly close, the energy surrounding them shifted as Gail's eyes darkened slightly with desire. Holly inhaled slowly, feeling her pulse begin to race. Gail's voice dropped an octave as she said, "Hols, let's go to bed it's been a long day. I miss you already"

Holly's breath broke unevenly as she was met with such a stare. Her heart beat erratically as she dared to assume that Gail was being the most vulnerable she had even been with a person. The thought made Holly smile and a weight lifted slightly from her chest.

Holly smiled as Gail turned around, easing her hands out of Holly's and glided towards the bed soundlessly, almost as if she were an illusion of Holly's mind. An illusion of promised happiness that wasn't quite tangible, yet. Holly's hands felt empty as she followed Gail to the dark bed, just out of the light of the moon's reach. Holly looked down at her long tanned fingers thinking of the ghost that haunted her steps: a beautiful ghost, a tantalising apparition, a devilish spirit that was endearingly snarky and confusing. Gail fascinated Holly in every way, but she also made her nervous. Holly was nervous that if she shut her eyes her beautiful woman would vanish. She could only hope that wasn't the case.

This is my first attempt at writing! Please leave reviews and please favourite! Criticism is appreciated as well! Was thinking of continuing this, but not sure? Please let me know :) thanks for reading, whoever you are! X.