Title: Itachi Misuses the Sharingan.

Author: MarauderGirl777.

Anime: Naruto.

Rating: T for dirty language. (It's censored though! [ Hidan: CURSES! ] )

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Poo. :[

A/N: Okay, so, I wrote this thing in the eighth grade. I'm a senior now. LOL. But this was just too funny to pass up. Hope you guys have as many laughs as I did when I re-read it. There's only like.. four parts, and then it just... stops. o_o;; So I'm wondering if I should continue? I dunno. I guess the number of reviews will let me know ;] Enjoy!

Itachi Misuses the Sharingan.

ONE

"Whoo, facing that Sannin was a doozy." Kisame Hoshigaki sighed, looking at the man walking beside him. His partner seemed out of it. "Itachi-san, are you okay?" Kisame asked, concerned.

"Kisame, I have a question..." Itachi said quietly.

"What is it?" The shark-man asked as they walked.

"... Have you ever used the Samehada to spank someone?"

"... Huh?" Kisame was taken aback. His cheeks tinged pink at the embarrassing question.

"Hold it right there!" Someone yelled from behind them. The two criminals stopped in their tracks. "You're coming with me!" The man said loudly.

They turned to face him. "A Jonin from Konoha," Kisame cackled. "Shall I, Itachi-san?"

"No. Shall I."

".. Do you mean, 'I shall'?"

"Yes."

"Okay..." Kisame was slightly disturbed by his partner's words about the Samehada and his unusual poor grammar. He wondered if using his Mangekyou Sharingan was having an effect on Itachi.

Itachi opened his eyes and looked at the Jonin and the men behind him lazily, Sharingan activated. "Hn.."

"You're not getting away!" The man yelled. "You're immensely outnumbered!"

"Hn.."

The man froze as he locked gazes with Itachi. "Aggh!" He exclaimed in fear.

Kisame waited for the man to scream in mental torture.

The Jonin began to bob his head back and forth, like he was choking. 'Making him choke himself..? Itachi's being creative,' the blue man thought.

"BA-GOK!" The Jonin clucked.

The Jonin... clucked.

Kisame raised an eyebrow. The Jonin flapped his arms like a chicken, bobbing his head and clucking. "What the-"

"Kisame, quiet," Itachi said softly. The Jonin walked away, clucking and flapping his arms. "Who's next?" Itachi asked. The other chunin only stared.

Then, they all died from laughter. Literally.

Itachi and Kisame began to walk away. "Back to my question, Kisame." Itachi said solemnly.

"About what?" Kisame asked, now slightly freaked out.

"... Do you use the Samehada to spank people?" He asked plainly, not embarrassed.

"Err.. No." He sweat-dropped.

"I wonder if it hurts.." The Uchiha mumbled thoughtfully.

"Uhhh.. I'm sure it does, Itachi-san..." Kisame was definitely freaked out now. There was something really wrong with Itachi, something really weird going on.