This is a song parody I wrote when one of the lines "I was a tweenage Brandybuck" popped into my head one day. It's finally finished! It tells the story of Rohan in TTT and RotK. Merry's singing it. It's a bit mixed up- not exactly chronological. I also had to put in a bit about Faramir, just 'cause I wuv him so much. Let me know what you think!

************** A long, long time ago

I remember how the pipeweed used to make me smile

And I knew if I could tonight

that I could make those tall Ents fight

and maybe they'd be winners for awhile

Fights were always too much for me

with every defeat and victory

Bad news in the Shire

Peace was my one desire

I remember, I knew I'd hide,

When I found out about the Ring aside

I rode in Rohan far and wide

The day the horse-king died.

********** My, my, that Théoden guy

'Cause it surely was too early to be sayin' bye-bye.

The wizard showed up, and kicked out Saruman's spy,

singing "Why'd you do this, Saruman, why?

*********

Did you write the book of red,

and do you believe what the Valar said,

Because the Fair Folk told you so?

And do you believe in old strongholds?

Can Helm's Deep save your fighters bold?

And can Legolas help you with his bow?

And I know that you're in league with him,

'cause the old king's eyes are gettin' dim.

That treasure you'll never win,

So give up on Éowyn!

I was a lonely tweenaged Brandybuck

Wearin' Rohan armor, in a battle stuck

but I knew that I was out of luck

the day the horse-king died.

**********

I started singing, My, my that Théoden guy.

Surely it's too early to be sayin' bye-bye.

The wizard showed up, and kicked out Saruman's spy,

singing "Why'd you do this, Saruman, why?"

***********

For some weeks we were on our own

No moss grows on the Isengard stone

It isn't like it used to be

But Gríma lied in Meduseld,

Meanwhile, in Fangorn, trees were felled,

And so, finally, justice was held.

Wormtongue didn't know what came next,

So the king kicked him down the steps.

Everybody cheered,

Although more danger neared.

They mustered the whole Riddermark

Helm's Deep's wall blown up with a spark,

Uruks defeated in the dark

the day the horse-king died

**********

And we were singing, My, my, this Théoden guy

Surely it's too early to be sayin' bye-bye

The wizard showed up, and kicked out Saruman's spy,

singing "Why'd you do this, Saruman, why?"

**********

Because then they were with Gondor allied,

In just the nick of time, they arrived.

Quickly, the war horns were blown

The Orcs charged 'cross the grass

Rohirrim quickly beat their ass

with the Men of the City in fights of their own.

The orcs across the field were strewn

Riders played a triumphant tune

and we all thought we'd win,

but the fight would again begin.

The Southrons tried to take the field

the riders brave refused to yield

Do you know what broke the Lady's shield

the day the horse-king died?

***********

She was runnin' from his mace,

An ancient nation, in that place

It sure seemed like the very end.

Now, you stop that, Denethor

Faramir'll live some years more,

Though the fire is the Steward's only friend

And Pippin watched him, just a page

His hands were clenched in fists of rage

My friend did what he could

To stop that burning wood.

And as the flames climbed high into the night

Out in the fields, trembling with fright,

Sauron laughing with delight

The day the horse-king died. **********

I met a girl who wore armor,

and she carried me into Gondor,

We both killed the Witchking.

It's too bad that she was too late

We couldn't save the king from his fate

I wonder what had happened to the One Ring.

And in the fields the Nazgúl screamed,

the steward burned and the men were creamed.

But many words were spoken

And many bones were broken.

And the three guys I admire most,

the Elf, the Dwarf, and the Ranger most,

they came up the River from the coast

the day the horse-king died.

***********

And we were singing, My, my, this Théoden guy,

Surely it's too early to be sayin' bye-bye.

The wizard showed up, and kicked out Saruman's spy,

singing "Why'd you do this, Saruman, why?" "Why'd you do this, Saruman, why?" ****************

There, that wasn't too painful, was it?