Chapter 1
Adam played with the keys of the "special needed" bathroom. He was dressed like Gracie so he coudln´t enter to the guys restroom but he was not entering to the girl´s. It would be like embracing Gracie forever and he wasn´t welling to kill Adam. So after minutes of deliberate he started his way to the "special needed" restroom.
Around him all the students talked about him and his personality change. Adam wished he coudl shut up everyone but he knew it was impossible. Now that the truth was on top of the table there was no turning back. Adam wondered where Eli and Clare were.
He got to the restroom and opened the door slowly. He felt like an intruder in that place, like if he shouldn´t be there. Suddenly someone pushed him from behind making him fall in side the room. Adam raised his head and tried to stand up. A foot over his back made him stay in the ground.
"So look what we have here." said Fitz as he closed the door from behind. Owen and Bianca were next to him.
"I´m doing nothing wrong. This is not the guy´s bathroom or neither the girl´s" Adam defended himself and tried to push Fitz foot. The other guy just smiled. "Now let go off me."
Fitz laughed and hit Adam on his stomach. Adam bent because of the pain.
"I heard you were trying to seduce my friend Bianca. Isn´t that right freak?" Fitz turned around to see Bianca that didn´t seemed enthusiastic about the situation anymore. She didn´t answer, she just stood there looking at Fitz uncomfortable.
"She is not my type. Don´t worry." Adam tried to play fool but he received other kick.
"Owen what do you think if we teach the freak what to be a girl really means?" Adam gulped scared.
"Fitz let it go. We are going to get into trouble." said the older guy as he put an arm around Bianca´s shoulder. The girl nodded in accordance.
"If you bunch of pussies don´t want well then leave." said Fitz with a mad tone of voice. The two other students turned around and opened the door but before leaving Bianca looked again at Fitz with worry in her eyes.
"Fitz think about it. What do you win with this?" Fitz didn´t answered so Bianca just turned around and left the room behind Owen. Adam saw his only chance of escaping; stood up and tried to run to the door. Fitz stopped him before he got to it and threw him to the ground leavening Adam´s lungs out of breath.
"What do you want from me?" Adam was scared to death but he didn´t want to cry in front of Fitz that was now unbuttoning his pants.
"You will see freak. You will see it really soon."
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
Adam burned himslef again. What had happened just 2 hours ago seemed to unreal and real at the same time. The pain was there but no one could see it. The tears were falling from his eyes but nobody cared why. Nobody seemed to care he was miserable dressed up like a girl; that he wanted to die in thta moment or to jump from the roof of the school.
He put his hair clip on the fire and let it in there for like 5 seconds. After that he placed the hot part on his wrist. He wasped of the pain and tried to prevent of screaming but he couldn´t help to cry a little bit. He still heard his screams, absorved by the scarf that Fitz had put him in his mouth. He pressed the clip a little bit harder on his skin loving the feeling of how it hurt.
"What are you doing?" exclamied Calre worried as she ran over Adam. The guy just trhrew his stuff away and covered the new burn with his hand. Adam looked away avoiding Clare gaze. It was too painful and the thought of her discovering what had happened asahmed her.
"Adam." she whispered, Adam could sense the pity on her voice.
Adam wondered what he would say to her? What would she think about him is she found out of what Fitz had done to him? Maybe she would understand but he didn´t know how to trust. For the first time in so much time he was scared.
"When I was Gracie I used to burn myself to let the anger go." he said between sobs. He couldn´t tell her now.
"It doesn´t have to be this way." Clare seemed like if she was about to cry too. Adam felt bad with himself; Clare shouldn´t be crying for him, she didn´t deserved that.
"If I´m Gracie everything is easier; right?" Adam sounded like if he was trying to convince himself instead of Clare. "For my mom, the school and...everyone."
"You donpt have to change Adam" if she only knew how much he had already changed. "They have to change for you."
Adam nodded sadly, he hated to feel so vulnerable, so lost and alone.
"Let´s call Eli and make him give you a drive." proposed Clare as she took Adam´s backpack and put it on her shoulder.
"I can´t dress like that." said Adam almost in a whisper. Watching this clothes would anly give him falshbacks of him and Fitz.
"Sure, let´s go to the office and get you something."
-.-.-.-.-.
Adam and Clare entered to the direction with him still crying. Eli was already waiting for them and so did Sav; the school president. Eli smiled sightly at Adam and Clare but Adam couldn´t return the gesture to him. He felt aweful.
"Sav do you have any clothes you could lend Adam?" asked Clare trying to break the unconfortable silence. Adam finally let go from Clare´s embrace and sat on a chair that was near him.
"Sure, Eli why you dont come with me..." started Sav but Adam interrumpted.
"NO!" screamed Adam as he put his hands into a fist. The other three guys tunred around surprised and shoked. Adam, noticing the stare of his friends kept talking but with more clam and in a lower voice. "I need to tell Eli something. Clare could you please get me the clothes?"
The girl nodded confused but she didnpt siad nothing. Sav took a last look at Adam and then he left the room followed by Clare. When Eli and Adam were completely alone the last one burst out into tears. Eli was shocked by this reaction but he decided that the most safe thing to do was hug the messed up guy.
"Eli...may I ask you something?" Adam was trying to stop crying but he couldn´t.
"Of course Adam." Eli was getting nervous with the extrange attitude of his friend and in his eyes Eli could see something like fear.
"You have to promise not to hate me or stop talking to me please."
"Why are you saying that Adam?" Eli was really confused and scared at the same time for his friend.
"You have to promise me that!" excalimed Adam, "I can´t lose you or Clare right now. You are the only friend I have."
"I promise I will never hate you Adam." Eli took Adam´s hand and looked at the burns he had in every arm. "You can trust me."
Adam looked at his friend a little bit relieved. He didn´t understand why but he had more confidence on Eli than in Clare. MAybe it was because he had known Eli for a little bit longer or just because of the way the emo boy was.
"Fitz did something this morning" Adam started, Eli´s face change from conserned to mad. ELi hated Fitz to go and bug his friend. Who did he thought he was? "And I swear to god I didn´t want to."
At that point Adam started crying again. Eli expected the worst.
"Adam, what did he do to you? Did he hurt you" Eli took Adam by the chin and make him look at him.
"He raped me!" Adam screamed and then he started sobbing uncontrollably. Eli´s face went pailer and he started feeling dizzy. What did he had to do know?
"We have to alert the police." said Eli as he stood up from his place and tried to walk to the phone. Adam stopped him by grabbing him by his jacket.
"NO! Nobody can know about this!" Eli looked at Adam that had still tears falling from his eyes.
Eli wanted to tell him that it was a bad idea. That he needed Fitz to pay for what he did and he shouldn´t be afraid but he had some information about this cases. He had seen them in his psycology class and what he had learned was that this kind of victims needed all the support for the ones around him and that they wanted to fell protected. Contradict his wills were the main reasons why these people stopped trusting in people and later develop some depression problems.
"Okay you don´t want to tell the police but what about your parents." Adam shook his head. "Drew? The conselor? Clare?"
"No one." pointed out Adam.
"Then why did you told me?" Eli didn´t want to sound frustrated but he was. He was unable to help his friend and plus that it seemed he didn´t want to be helped either.
"Because I trust you." new tears appeared in Adam´s eyes. "And I´m scared."
Eli sighed and then hugged Adam tightly. He didn´t know how but he would make sure Adam felt safe again. No matter what the cost, he would make anything for Adam to never cry again.