"Why Can't I Say Goodnight?"
a J/C songfic based on the song "Why Can't I Say Goodnight?" from Nashville Season 2's soundtrack. The song lyrics are italicized, and I do not own them. I also do not own the characters, but the plot of this songfic is all mine!
Summary: Kathryn doesn't know why she can't say goodnight to Chakotay…
It's almost sunrise
Hours and hours gone by
Candles are burned down
Turned into morning light
I roll over again. I have not slept, and I can see that the sun—a yellow dwarf star—is beginning to color the world. My heart repeats the words of Chakotay's ancient legend over and over. I do not know if holding out my hand to him said enough, or said what I intended, but it was the only thing I could think to do. I retreated, and came back, before the legend, scared by the massage and what it meant. That's when it happened, when I knew for sure in no uncertain terms. We'd both known, of course, but now that we were alone, it was all out on the table. As he stroked my hand, my brain screamed at me that I needed to leave while I still could, but I couldn't leave.
The time to go has come and gone
Why can't I, why can't I say goodnight?
The whole world is sleeping
And still I can't give in
It's a love story I never want to end
The time to go has come and gone
Why can't I, why can't I say goodnight?
Chakotay had always been effortlessly captivating. The color of his skin, his expressive eyes, which usually foretold mischief, his dimples, the way his entire face changed when he smiled… Though we began our journey as enemies, none of his charm has ever been lost on me.
I'm using up all my strength
I can't tear myself away
It only gets harder as night turns to day
I could go to him. We could talk again, but about what? When a woman goes to a man's room in the wee hours of the morning, it isn't to talk… My body may have left our shared living area, but my mind certainly did not.
There isn't one place
Honey that I'd rather be
Than right here in your arms
With your head lying on me
"You're up early…" Chakotay called to me as I approached his door.
"Can we just…" I peered around the edge of his partition. He was sitting up in bed, and he smiled at me. He folded up an edge of the blanket, and motioned for me to join him.
"Humans, we're not like other animals," He said as he pulled the blanket up over me.
"Why not?" I asked, the scientist in me curious where he would take this.
"We need to be touched." He brushed a hand from my shoulder down to my tricep and smiled.
"You're beautiful." I whispered.
"I was about to say that to you."
The time to go has come and gone
Why can't I, why can't I say goodnight?