Artemis Fowl: The Ardagh Chalice

By S'Eleene Paris Thursday, March 24, 2005

Finished:

Rated: PG-13 (Sexual Situations and language)

Spoiler: Books 1-3

Pairing: Captain Holly Short/ Artemis Fowl

Synopsis: At the end of The Eternity Code, Artemis arranged for future business enterprises with Mulch Diggums. Once again, his business pursuits will cross paths with the LEP recon, particularly one officer named Captain Holly Short.

Disclaimer: Eoin Colfer, God bless that Irish man, owns all legal rights, lefts, and hair follicles belonging to the Artemis Fowl Series. I am just borrowing them for non-profit use to entertain my sick and twisted imagination. Please keep my name, the disclaimer, and synopsis attached when archiving. Thank you for your cooperation.

Author's Edit (12/2/07): Sorry guys. I had to edit this particular chapter due to someone pointed out to Neppyman in Ireland the age of consent is actually 17. So Artemis got another birthday.

Chapter 01

The Great Change

The Lower Elements, near Haven City

Mulch Diggums lay in his jail cell cot listening for anything that could have been an indication to an officer coming toward his cell to release him back into the unsuspecting Lower Elements. He was there due to a "minor" accusation from the LEP recon police in which they really did not have any real evidence to accuse him. He had been good to his promise to the Mud boy and now it was time for him to collect his reward. Mulch grinned knowingly as the sounds of footsteps climbed the stairwell and made their way toward his cell. His lawyer must have arrived and set the record straight.

"Up, you," The Lower Elements Police officer commanded and Mulch Diggums obliged.

"Now, Grub, is that anyway to speak to a free man?" Mulch cheeked. "I thought your mother taught you better."

"That's Lieutenant Kelp to you, convict."

"Oh, and I suppose if I don't call you that you're going to tell your mummy or big brother on me?" Mulch rolled his eyes. "They can't do anything about it."

"No, but I can." A familiar feminine voice called to him as the female LEP recon officer joined them. Captain Holly Short stood in front of him, looking paler than her normal and her temper much shorter.

"Ah, Holly, it is good to see you again! Is Julius with you? It then could be just like old times, you know; you, me, him, that Mud boy, and his bodyguard."

Holly Short grew paler, if that were possible, at the mention of Artemis Fowl. "It's not possible, Diggums. He and his entire gang of criminals have been mind-wiped. If the mind wipe had not taken affect, we would have heard from him by now. Come on, your discharge papers are being process and I wouldn't want to keep you from getting out, now would I."

"Captain Short how does a fairy from LEP recon get demoted to jail duty? Tell me again, because even I cannot seem to find the connection." Mulch threw at her and he knew she was trying to restrain herself from lashing out at him. "I mean, the council should be thanking you with all that work you have done for them on the whole Artemis Fowl case. Did you do something to upset them?"

Holly reached for her buzz baton, but Lieutenant Kelp restrained her from withdrawing it.

"He's not worth it loosing your badge, Holly."

Holly relaxed her stance, with a slight dizzy sensation, and Grub let go of her. "Why don't you take him to processing? I think I need to sit down for a little while."

"Are you going to be okay?" Grub asked as he looked into her eyes and noticed she clearly was not. "You don't look so well."

"I'll be fine." She tried to smile. "Just escort him down to processing already."

"Alright," Lieutenant Kelp decided it was best not to fight with the Captain and escorted the prisoner down to the processing division, although not entirely sure his Captain was as she said okay.

Holly staggered slightly after Lieutenant Kelp had descended the stairwell into the now empty jail cell to lie down on the empty cot. "D'Arvit! Why did this have to happen now?" Holly Short complained to herself full knowing what her physical problems were. Once a female elf turned at least 80 years of age she had to procreate. In order to do so, she must complete a series of rituals with her intended mate of which her parents would have chosen for her. If the rituals had not been completed with in an allotted 2 weeks, the female fairy would die. This is why most of the female fairies often opted to mate as soon as possible so not only their mates could find better work so they could dissuade falling over dead suddenly. A married sprite often made the most amount of gold than any amongst the People.

Captain Short sighed, she had once been betrothed to a fine sprite when she was younger, but ever since her father was no longer among the living; her contract with the said sprite had long been terminated. Since Holly did not have a contract with anyone, the chances of her finding a suitable match were slim to nothing and since the only timeframe of knowing when she would go through (what was called as roughly translated to human tongue) "The Metamorphosis". The actual change would vary from fairy to fairy depending how soon their mothers went through it, but her mother had died before doing so which meant Holly had not a clue when it would be her turn. The book had guidelines to follow and since she was a fairy, she had the thing memorized, but she did not think it would have happened this late in her lifetime and in her case not able to go through it like some groups of fairies had reported in the past.

Holly sighed and sat up on the cot, letting the dizzy sensation subside. There was no way she could afford to let her superiors know about the happenings going on inside of her body. Not only could it have her kicked off the force for good, it would be very embarrassing to admit to Commander Root. The Metamorphosis was better kept a secret for now and she would not tell him or anyone until it became apparent she could no longer be fit for duty.

"I'd better go and perform the Ritual." Holly sighed as she stood up and headed down the stairs to the lower level of the prison. "Only the Gods will know how much my body is going to need it."

Oxford, England

Artemis Fowl the second was no ordinary soon to be seventeen year old. First, he was the heir to billions of dollars in gold in various Swiss banks, which made him quite famous amongst the ladies. He had also grown quite handsome in the past few years under the instruction of his personal bodyguard Butler helping him tone his muscles to allow him to defend himself on his own somewhat. Artemis also had attended a very exclusive boarding school for young gentlemen.

Among these things, nothing was more prominent then what Artemis Fowl could achieve inside and out of the classroom. After all, he was a genius and to dissuade anyone who knew of him of this fact was madness for all he continued to baffle any test either a doctor or a professor threw at him. For the past few years, he had been studying college level work at his school of Saint Barthleby's School for Young Gentlemen in the county of Wicklow in Ireland; however, since the schools academics could no longer challenge him, the school allowed him to graduate ahead of his class as Valedictorian. He was now enrolled at a new school across the channel at a school where in it he was out witting even the most of the Professors whom he met. The young man rolled his eyes at the thought. Going to Oxford was a waste of time. They should just hand him his diplomas and be done with it.

A knock came onto the door of Artemis' study and in stepped Butler with his younger sister in tow. "I take it my mother sent the both of you."

"Artemis, just come home. A lot of work went into this and I think your mother would love to see you once and a while." Butler pleaded with him. "Your mother hasn't seen you since you left and that was several months ago. I know your father is missing you somewhat terribly, although he'd probably never admit it since he has buried himself in his investments."

"Father's investments have caused the family fortune to diminish somewhat extensively." Artemis commented as he typed on his computer to finish working on the latest additions to his assignments (the ones not even due for another four months.). "Not to mention I am busy with school work, so I think I will not have the pleasure of being bored with idle small talk."

"Artemis, it's your birthday party! Not to mention the weekend, why on earth are you doing homework?" Juliet blurted. "You can't miss your own birthday!"

Artemis stared at her blankly. Juliet did not know if it was because he was thinking of a sarcastic response or if he were shocked, anyone would be throwing him a party. He looked back at the screen and began typing again. "I haven't really had a birthday party since I was two and I cannot say I want one anytime soon. So if you will excuse me, I have business to take care of."

Juliet looked at Butler and nodded. He nodded a response to her and as if Artemis was a child's plastic toy, he lifted the young man by the shirt of his collar to lift him away from his computer. Artemis immediately began protesting to let him down, but Butler and Juliet had other plans. "You are going to join your parents for your birthday celebration," Butler began, "otherwise you will have to take it up with the both of us."

Fowl Manor

Once Artemis arrived at his childhood home, his father's bodyguard greeted him at the door and escorted the trio to the ballroom (a room in the manor that was once the Great Hall of the castle that once stood there, but had not been used in decades). Mr. and Mrs. Fowl greeted them and several hundred other people mostly the Senior Fowl's new business associates. A full orchestra had been ordered and as he walked in was playing "Happy Birthday".

"What's going on?" Artemis asked his mother once he had kissed her cheeks. "I thought I had asked you not to throw me a birthday party."

"Party? What Party?" Artemis senior played innocent as he gave his son a shrug. "Just because I have a whole bunch of friends and their families over and it just so happens to fall on the seventeenth anniversary of your birth doesn't mean that this is a party for you."

Artemis junior rolled his eyes at his father's pathetic excuse. "Nice try."

Artemis senior just chuckled. "You really are a genius aren't you, my boy." His son just smiled at his father knowingly as he escorted his son a way from the party for a moment. "But there is something I need to talk to you about now that you have come of age. I should have said something a little sooner than this, but what can I say…"

"Father if you are talking about sex, I already know about it." Artemis the II had his turn to chuckle. "Butler told me when I was ten after I began reading more into Anatomy and Physiology. I had inquired to him about the topic and he was a little reluctant about telling me about it, but he did eventually tell me."

"So you know all about it, then." Artemis the I, from his son's point of view, was either relieved or disappointed (or both) about telling his son the facts of life. "So you do know you are now able to give consent to have…intercourse…with a girl…I mean, the partner of your choice."

"Don't worry, father, I do to intend on carrying on the family name. I; however, have not been able to find a suitable partner as of this moment in time." Artemis admitted. "I hope to soon remedy that."

Artemis senior smiled and pulled something out of his pocket. He took his son's hand and placed it in the palm of his hand. "This is for when you do find the girl." Artemis junior nodded in understanding and the boy took out his wallet. He slipped the condom into the back compartment and then placed it back into his pocket. "Now let's get back to the party otherwise your mother will come looking for us."

After the party was over and the guests had left, Artemis climbed the stairwell to head to his bedroom to be alone for a little while. He booted up the hard drive of his lap top computer and plugged in his earphones while he played a compact disk on his cd player. As of recent days, he had a particular liking of certain "classical" pieces such as the "Suite from the Faery Queen" by Purcell and the music from "Nutcracker" by P.I. Tchaikovsky. It wasn't that Bach didn't strike his interest as it did along with any others, but those particular pieces called to him and reminded him of something he couldn't quite remember.

Not remembering why he was drawn to those pieces frustrated Artemis Fowl. It was if something or someone was purposefully blocking those memories. Butler and Juliet also had missing segments of their memories such as why Butler's body did not seem to be able to do as much as he use to anymore (even Artemis senior and Angeline Fowl noticed this.). Why Juliet had no longer wanted to join the ranks of the Butler family to be one of the Fowl's bodyguards and instead decided to work hard in school to become a doctor. "I want to help bring forth life rather than destroy it." She had admitted once to him and as much as Butler would have loved his sister to follow his example, he had agreed it probably was not for her.

Artemis began typing up his latest thoughts down in his diary as a knock on the door interrupted him. Butler's voice floated into his ears as the boy genius refrained from looking upward from his computer screen. "Artemis, there is a man down stairs who says it is rather urgent."

"Oh?" Artemis rolled his eyes and continued typing his thoughts down. His latest theories would soon prove to be just that.

"He says he knows why we are missing parts of our memories. He knew my real name and say he has something he needs to give back to you." Butler smiled at the reaction his employer showed as Artemis' head flew upward. "Shall I bring him upstairs?"