Title: Precious Little (Zechs\Heero Series 1of 3)
By Milliardo Peacecraft
Beta-read and edited: by The Czarina Merquise (^-^ Thank you!)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything....just the plot!
Warnings: Angst, Yaoi Implied, Mention of Death, Tissues may be
needed. Later warnings are possible Citrus,
Pairings: 6+1 , 3+4 (Implied 2+1, 13+6)
*...* Italics
"..." spoken words
'...' recalled spoken words
(thoughts sorta blend in with the story)
~*Precious Little*~
It won't grieve me, I understand
where it is you're coming from
shadows call me, in the wind
some don't go away
precious little in your life
is yours by right
and won without a fight
~Eleanor Mcevoy
It had to be fate, he thought, silently staring down at the pale face of the man lying on the cot. Heero sat down beside the cot and slowly ran his hand through a couple long locks of blond hair that hung off the side of the makeshift bed.
He had gotten separated from the other pilots and ended up walking through the triage area that the medic center had set up outside in the large park after the explosion had shaken the colony. After some persuasion, the doctor had informed him that the man had been right in the blast area, and had apparently been one of those helping to clear the area when the bomb had went off sooner than expected. A nurse that had come by and had seen him watching the blond lying on the cot had told him this man had cleared out nearly two buildings before the blast and also had been shielding a small girl who had been separated from her group when the blast happened.
He's lucky to even be alive, Heero thought as he stared at the bandages around the other's chest and head. He had seen the site where the bomb had blown. There was nothing left of the building that had once stood there and there had been very little remaining of the buildings next to it. The only reason the man had been one of the lucky ones was the way a certain two beams had fallen crossing over each other, preventing the rest of the building from crushing him and the little girl he had wrapped himself around.
Heero sighed, looking over at the face from where he sat. He hadn't expected to find him here of all places. Like everyone else including Noin, he had thought the man lying before him had died in the shuttle accident that had almost claimed the lives of Relena and her son. As it had happened Relena almost didn't recover from the accident herself...but how did he and without anyone knowing? Heero stared at him and then realized that if he hadn't agreed to check this out for Water he would never have found him. So...it had to be fate...there was no other explanation for it, none that he could give himself and believe.
He heard the small moan and at first didn't react because he thought it had come from a different cot. When he saw the hand move over the bandaged chest he stood up quickly and took the hand in his without thinking. He considered several things before he spoke and then decided. "Zechs..?"
Azure eyes snapped open and took in the surroundings, blinking a few times before finally settling on him. A small frown shaped the lips. Heero watched him silently still holding the hand he had picked up. "...Heero...?"
He nodded and then knelt next to the cot. "Hai... The doctor said you're lucky to have survived the blast. How long have you been living in this colony?" The azure eyes closed and then he thought Zechs had fallen asleep or unconscious again until he heard the baritone voice speaking slow and soft, almost too low to be heard.
"I expected to die...both times... the shuttle... I thought I had. I'm not sure why but I just left Earth and came out here. I couldn't make myself go back to the way things had been before. Here there aren't any reminders to make me remember things I don't wish to remember. I've been here for a couple years."
The eyes opened again and were tired, drained it seemed of color as they looked at him. It was almost frightening. Heero had a sudden foreboding and he was correct once more as the eyes closed and then the hand in his own gripped his as the baritone spoke again in a soft hiss. "I want you to do something for me...I know you can if you will..."
Heero went pale suddenly and then swallowed, jerking his hand away from the other slim hand. "No! You hear me...? I will not kill you and I'm not about to let you kill yourself. Why would you want to die? What about your sister and..." He trailed off as he almost spilled out the reason he had been sitting by the cot since he had found the tall blond. *...What about me...?*
He turned his back for a moment to wipe at his traitorous eyes before he turned to look back at him. "Why do you want to die?" he asked, making his voice flat and emotionless.
Zechs had pulled his arm back against his chest and then looked at him with those haunted azure eyes. "You know how it feels to live without someone you love...You should understand...you tried to follow Shadow..."
Heero swallowed the sudden feelings the name had brought up and then shoved them away hard, glaring at him. "I know, but you stopped me... you told me Duo wouldn't want me to do what I had planned... Why don't you listen to what you told me? Whoever it is that you loved wouldn't want you to suffer..."
The older man moved to sit up slightly on the cot, looking at him. "Heero...believe me...I've been doing that...why do you think I'm still here 12 years after his death...but I can't do it anymore...it hurts too much to even look at anything that's similar to Earth and go on."
Heero lowered his gaze for a moment, taking in what he had just said, and then realized. He looked up into the haunted gaze and then whispered softly. "It's Treize, isn't it...?"
The eyes shut and he saw the corners draw up in distress. Heero regretted saying it aloud and moved over stand beside the cot again. "Zechs...He would want you to stay...listen to me... there are people that still need you..." He slowly sat down next to him on the cot and absently ran a hand through the long hair, sighing. "I don't think I'll be able to lose another person and live myself..." he said softly, mostly to himself as he glanced at the hand still in the fall of platinum hair. He heard the small gasp and then lifted his gaze to look at Zechs's face . "Zechs...?"
Wide azure eyes met his and stared at him. "You feel that way...about.."
Heero sighed and took his hand out of the hair. Time to confess, said a small voice in his head. He silenced it and looked back at the startled face. "I do...Since you helped me get over my depression after his death...you were what I began to live for... When the accident happened and we all thought you had died in it..."
He shivered slightly at the memory and then continued. "I had to take a month's leave from work and they had Quatre and Trowa both checking in on me. But I slowly put myself back together...and I went on." He watched the other for a moment after his confession and then spoke again slowly, almost afraid to say the suggestion that had come to mind aloud. "Come with me...We can get an apartment on the colony if you can't go back to Earth...but give me a chance to change your mind."
He watched the wary look on the other's face and then added. "If by the time a month is over you still want to leave and join..." He stopped himself from saying the name again and rephrased his statement. "If you still feel that you want me to..." Heero swallowed and forced the words past his lips. "...kill you after the month is over, I will do it for you."
Heero felt the shiver run down his spine and then inwardly cursed himself for making the promise. What happened to not making promises you couldn't keep...? Now he'd gone and got himself into a rather sticky situation that he'd might not be able to get out of. He felt a slim hand on his shoulder and looked up at Zechs, trying to keep the emotions from his face.
At least the azure eyes had gotten some of their color back and had almost lost that haunted look. "Thank you...I'll accept your offer and we'll see what happens."
He nodded in response and then heard a throat being cleared behind them. He looked up to see the Doctor standing behind them. The man glanced down at the chart he held in his hand. When he looked back up at them, he frowned slightly at how close Heero seemed to be sitting next to Zechs. Heero ignored the dirty look he got from the doctor as he leaned closer to Zechs and lightly kissed him on the lips. Zechs kissed him back softly. Then Heero stood up from the cot and turned to give the tall blond one last look. "You better be here when I get back." Zechs nodded and then faintly smiled at the implied threat behind the words.
"I will...don't worry."
~*~
It was half way through the month and Heero glanced up from the laptop sitting on the kitchen counter over to the tall man standing in front of the stove who was stirring something that kept distracting him from the work he had been given to do from Water. "What is it you're making over there that keeps making those little noises I keep hearing?" he finally asked, shutting down the laptop and turning on the stool he sat on to face the stove and Zechs. "You've been messing with it all day...surely it should be done by now."
A small laugh came from the man in front of the stove and Heero gave it up as hopeless trying to get any straight answer from him. If there was one thing he should have learned by now it's that when Zechs was in the kitchen you couldn't get any kind of straight answer from him. He slid off the stool and then walked towards the living room taking the laptop with him. Heero had stopped just shy of the door when a spoon with some kind of red sauce in it appeared in front of him. He glanced up at the amused azure gaze and raised an eyebrow.
"You wanted to know what it was...taste it...that way I can see if I remembered how to make it correctly or if I messed up and it'll kill whomever eats it."
"So this is your great plan to rid yourself of me is it? Subtle, Zechs... I should've known there was a reason you took over the cooking, trying to poison me with food, ne?"
The spoon was withdrawn and gold hair flashed as the tall blond spun back to face the stove as if offended, which Heero knew he wasn't really. Of course the first time Zechs had done that he had thought he *had* offended him and ended up being reassured that had Zechs had only been teasing him. He snorted and shook his head, waiting for a moment before resuming his trip towards the living room.
The baritone voice caught him just as he was in the doorway. "It's spaghetti sauce...I started before you got up this morning because when you make it from scratch it takes all day to cook it."
Heero turned around in the doorway and stared at the faintly smirking blond in front of the stove. "You made that from scratch?"
There was an almost proud nod of the head and then he lost his attention as something on or near the stove dinged. Zechs opened the stove and took out a long narrow pan and set it on the cutting board that was next to the stove. Heero raised an eyebrow as Zechs lifted the lid of a different pan allowing a cloud of stream to escape it and then checked out the contents of it. "And it's almost ready to eat as well...I say dinner time or depending on how this turned out, execution time will be in less than an hour."
An hour and a half later they were sitting at the small table inside the small kitchen. Heero set his plate aside and then sighed as he watched the other man finish what he had and set his plate on top of the other. "Well, so far it hasn't killed us yet..." he said as he leaned back into the chair. The teasing earned him a smirk and faint snicker. "Where did you learn to cook like that? I never knew you could cook that well...the only other person I know who can is Trowa and he doesn't do it very often, unless Quatre begs him to."
The smirk became a slight smile at the praise and Zechs stood and began to clear off the table. "Here and there you could say..."
Heero pushed his chair back, standing to help him clear off the table and put the kitchen back into order. He then followed Zechs to the living room after they finished. Sitting down on the couch, he glanced up as he heard the yawn above him. He got a small smile and then watched as Zechs glanced back towards the hallway where the two bedrooms and bath were. "Tired?" he asked.
He received a nod in answer along with another small yawn. "Yes...I've been up all day since before dawn working on that sauce...I think I do need some rest."
The younger man nodded and waited for any sign that this would be the night that that something might break the routine of them both going their separate ways for the night. But Zechs gave him no signal that he wished for anything other than to sleep...by himself. Heero finally ripped his attention away from the now empty hallway and then turned on the laptop trying once more to get the work he had to do done.
~*~
Heero paced inside his room silently and sat down on his bed, making a sound borne from fear and frustration. It was the end of the month, time to see if he had convinced Zechs to stay with him among the living or join Treize in death. He was still afraid the blond might wish to join the General since they hadn't shared anything more than that one kiss when they had first made the deal.
He wasn't sure if he could go through with his promise if Zechs did choose death over him. He was angry with himself for forgetting what the end of the month had entailed and let himself fall deeper for him even though he could quite possibly lose him before the night was out and there wasn't anything he could do to change those facts.
The talk he and the tall blond had had last night over coffee hadn't set any of his fears to rest. He closed his eyes and remembered how he had found him brooding over a cup of coffee in the dark kitchen. He had made the decision to ask him what was on his mind. And the answer hadn't been something he'd wanted to hear.
'Will you keep your promise that you made? If I ask you to pull the trigger...will you actually do it for me?' Even recalling the words sent a wash of cold down his back. He had answered him after recovering his composure that he would always keep any promises he made to him. Now though with the pistol and the bullets lying on the stand by the door in front of him, he wasn't sure if he could. Not and keep the other promise he had made last night to him.
Zechs had nodded faintly in approval, it seemed, after he had said that he would and then he had asked him another question. `Will you promise me something else then?' He had asked what, he should have known better than to agree to it. He felt a lump form in his throat and ignored it as he let the promise echo once again. 'Promise me that if I should choose to go that you will stay...I don't wish you to kill yourself over me...' He had hesitated, and then almost blew up in his face at the audacity of such a promise that he was asking.
How selfish... Heero sighed and shoved the angered thoughts from his mind and then forced himself to his feet and over to the stand where the pistol lay. He didn't want to, but he didn't want to have any excuses for delays if he chose that way out of this deal. If there was any delay he might lose his willpower and not be able to keep his word and he had to or risk the other man's anger at the oath being broken.
He then heard the door open and set down the pistol, giving up on getting it loaded in the half-blinded state he was in now, and wiped at the tears building in his eyes. He opened his bedroom door and walked out into the living room, finding Quatre and Trowa standing there with Zechs seating himself on the couch. Trowa didn't look very pleased and Heero raised an eyebrow at Quatre before leaning against the chair across from the couch. "Trowa, Quatre...What brings you here?" he asked them, watching Quatre's eyes flicking back between Trowa and Zechs and finally to him.
Trowa spoke first uncrossing his arms from in front of his chest, the quiet tone of his voice holding a hint of anger to it; he wondered silently what had caused it. "Can I use your bathroom?"
The question took him by surprise and he nodded, gesturing towards the hallway. Trowa glared faintly at Zechs and then moved to walk past him and down the hallway.
Heero gestured towards the other seat for Quatre to sit down and then sat down himself as the empath sat down. "Quatre...what's wrong with Trowa?" he asked as he glanced at Quatre and then back at the hallway briefly.
He watched as Quatre hesitated and glanced at Zechs before answering. "Wind-sama told us about the deal you two had made and he wanted us to make sure you kept your promise.."
Heero glanced over at Zechs but the azure eyes were directed down and he couldn't see what was in them. But the cold shiver was back and once more chilling his spine. Could this mean that he had made his decision? That he would have to use the gun and...
He swallowed hard and looked back at Quatre. "I see... I keep my promises... as I already told Zechs. You don't need to fear that I will try to shoot myself afterwards if that's the choice he makes." He then heard Trowa walk back into the living room and watched him nod very faintly to Quatre.
Quatre sighed and then stood with his head bowed slightly and lightly touched Zechs on the shoulder. "Wind-sama, Please consider carefully before you choose." Heero watched Zechs nod faintly in response, and Trowa then nodded once in his direction in goodbye as he opened the door for Quatre.
After they had left he watched Zechs silently and then finally got up to go back to his room. He stopped though when he heard Zechs's voice speak softly. "Heero...I know you most likely wished that I would stay... but even though I thought I might be able to... I don't think I can... please if you will do what you..."
Heero turned around to face him, his face had gone pale at his words, but something hurt and snapped at the once more haunted azure gaze. He glared at the man still sitting on the couch and snarled at him. "Say it...I won't do it unless you tell me exactly what you want me to do. So if you want me to shoot you...to...to... *kill* you. You will have to say it or I *won't* do it!"
He spun then and walked into his room, slamming his door and throwing himself on his bed, anger and hurt warring against each other. He then remembered the gun and sat up to look over at the stand. It still lay there with the bullets lying around it. He slid off the bed and slammed each of them into the clip before slamming the clip home inside the pistol. He then heard his door open and spun to face it angrily.
Zechs stood inside the door and watched him silently for a moment before speaking softly and coming fully inside the room. "Heero... I'm sorry I am asking you for this..."
Heero snarled at him raising the pistol to point at him. "Silence! You're not sorry! If you didn't want me to do this you wouldn't be asking me to!"
Zechs nodded and sighed heavily before dull azure lifted to lock with tear-filled dark blue. "Then do it... please. Shoot me... like you said you would."
While Zechs continued to watch him, Heero began to shake slightly with pent-up emotion and finally pulled the trigger back. There was an explosion of sound and he heard Zechs gasp sharply in pain. His eyes widened and quickly scanned the other's tall frame. He saw right away that he had missed his intended target and hit him in the shoulder because there was a dark stain beginning to spread across the shoulder of the tan shirt he was wearing.
He cursed himself for causing Zechs needless pain and then wiped his eyes with the back of his hand before aiming again at him and pulling the trigger once more. He heard the sound of the gun firing and watched as Zechs fell back to fall to the ground. He gasped, dropping the gun, then took a small step backwards and ended up falling back as one of his legs hit the edge of the bed. He fell down towards the floor, smacking the back of his head against the edge of a chair that he had shoved away from the desk
earlier. There was a blast of pain through his skull before everything went white and then black.
~*~
Heero moaned faintly as he woke up and then moved his hand or rather tried to move his arm to move his hand but something was holding it down by his side. He then heard someone gasp faintly and felt hands messing with something. He opened his eyes and saw Quatre standing next to him and undoing a cuff that had been around his arm. After the other man finished with one he moved to his other side and repeated the actions, freeing both his arms.
"Why was I..." he began until he noticed where he was. He recognized the white barren walls and realized that he was in a hospital. The actions he had last done suddenly flashed through his mind and a small gasp escaped and he turned to Quatre, eyes wide.
The blond raised a hand before he could speak and then spoke softly. "Zechs is alive...The doctors took care of his shoulder and right now they're trying to figure out why he's still comatose, as its been two days since we brought you to the hospital."
Heero sat up quickly and stared at Quatre silently for a moment before speaking. "Zechs is alive?! How...I shot...I shot him in the chest and shoulder."
Quatre laid a hand on his shoulder. "The only bullet that did any harm to him was the one to the shoulder. The rest of the bullets in the clip were blanks." Heero stared at the hand on him and Quatre removed it from his shoulder and then shook his head. "There isn't any mark on his chest so besides his shoulder he's fine."
"Quatre I laid those bullets out myself. I know they weren't blanks," Heero hissed at the small blond.
Quatre shook his head as Heero finished and sighed as he watched him. "Trowa switched the bullets when we visited you before this happened. He knew you'd do it and so..."
Heero scowled and turned to glare at the figure he spotted sitting in the chair that was hidden halfway by the shadows that the light over his bed threw around the room. "You had no right! It was Zechs's decision and even though it hurt me, it was still Zechs's decision."
Trowa snorted in response and turned his head to look towards the small window that graced one wall.
"I simply did as he asked! What is so wrong with that? I had promised him I would do it!" Heero's eyes had narrowed as he had spoke. He watched the tall, long banged pilot staring towards the window with a hard glare.
Trowa looked back over at him and glared at him silently, before speaking, his tone cold. "He didn't need to die...it was a foolish and selfish decision."
Quatre sighed and then walked to stand between Heero and Trowa. "Guys... what matters now is that everyone's alive. We'll deal with Zechs later but for now, Heero, you need to rest. Trowa, calm down, please, for me?"
Trowa nodded and closed his eyes sitting back into the chair and leaning his head against the wall. Quatre sighed once more and then sat down next to him, taking Trowa's hand in his own. Trowa smiled faintly at the small blond.
Heero turned to lie down facing away and sighed softly in frustration before falling back asleep.
~*~
Heero sat next to the hospital bed and stared at the man that lay silent and still in it. He had been released several days ago and Trowa and Quatre had left him alone mostly after he had told them he would be staying in the hospital with Zechs. Of course Quatre still came by twice each day to make sure he had gotten some sleep and something to eat.
He shook his head at the situation he was in now. What if Zechs was going to stay like this for the rest of his life? He would have in a way gotten his wish; he wouldn't be reminded of the fact he was alive while the one he had cared about was gone from this world.
Heero ran his hand through the long platinum blond hair and just watched it as it fell through his fingers like water. He blinked away the tears that threatened him once again and pulled his hand away from the long silky hair. On impulse he stood and then lowered one of the rails that was raised on the side of Zechs's bed and sat down next to him. Laying his head down on his chest, he listened silently to the steady heartbeat under his head.
He looked up at the closed eyes and then closed his own eyes and took the hand that lay next to him in his own hand. "Zechs...I'm not sure if you can hear me or not...but I am sorry I was too weak to carry out what you wanted me to do. I should have realized what Trowa had done when I loaded the gun...but I was too blind, weak, and distracted to notice and now look where we are." He sighed and ran his thumb over Zechs's hand and listened to the heartbeat beneath his ear. "And the worst thing is I was too weak to tell you something that could have changed your mind. Zechs...I know it's most likely too late in coming, but...I love
you..." He felt the tears escape his eyes and hated himself silently for the weakness. He stiffened slightly in shock when he felt a hand run through his hair. He didn't move, afraid he had fallen asleep and this was a dream.
"...Heero?"
His eyes snapped open when he heard his name. He looked up sharply, first at the door which was still shut like he had left it and then down to the man beside him. Dark blue locked with azure and Heero's eyes widened slightly. "Zechs?"
He received a small smile and felt Zechs's hand rest on his shoulder. "You were talking to me?"
It took a few seconds to get his thoughts to work right to understand the question but he nodded in response.
"I thought so...In that case...I love you as well Heero... I've been thinking... and I just realized that."
Heero watched him silently before leaning down and kissing him softly on the lips. Zechs returned the kiss and he felt his hand return to run though his hair. He drew back slightly after a moment. "I want to go home...all right...?"
Zechs smiled and nodded. Heero sat up and slid off the bed, paging the nurse. After she came he sent her after the doctor. After speaking with him and Zechs's final examination he had Zechs back home that night.
By Milliardo Peacecraft
Beta-read and edited: by The Czarina Merquise (^-^ Thank you!)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything....just the plot!
Warnings: Angst, Yaoi Implied, Mention of Death, Tissues may be
needed. Later warnings are possible Citrus,
Pairings: 6+1 , 3+4 (Implied 2+1, 13+6)
*...* Italics
"..." spoken words
'...' recalled spoken words
(thoughts sorta blend in with the story)
~*Precious Little*~
It won't grieve me, I understand
where it is you're coming from
shadows call me, in the wind
some don't go away
precious little in your life
is yours by right
and won without a fight
~Eleanor Mcevoy
It had to be fate, he thought, silently staring down at the pale face of the man lying on the cot. Heero sat down beside the cot and slowly ran his hand through a couple long locks of blond hair that hung off the side of the makeshift bed.
He had gotten separated from the other pilots and ended up walking through the triage area that the medic center had set up outside in the large park after the explosion had shaken the colony. After some persuasion, the doctor had informed him that the man had been right in the blast area, and had apparently been one of those helping to clear the area when the bomb had went off sooner than expected. A nurse that had come by and had seen him watching the blond lying on the cot had told him this man had cleared out nearly two buildings before the blast and also had been shielding a small girl who had been separated from her group when the blast happened.
He's lucky to even be alive, Heero thought as he stared at the bandages around the other's chest and head. He had seen the site where the bomb had blown. There was nothing left of the building that had once stood there and there had been very little remaining of the buildings next to it. The only reason the man had been one of the lucky ones was the way a certain two beams had fallen crossing over each other, preventing the rest of the building from crushing him and the little girl he had wrapped himself around.
Heero sighed, looking over at the face from where he sat. He hadn't expected to find him here of all places. Like everyone else including Noin, he had thought the man lying before him had died in the shuttle accident that had almost claimed the lives of Relena and her son. As it had happened Relena almost didn't recover from the accident herself...but how did he and without anyone knowing? Heero stared at him and then realized that if he hadn't agreed to check this out for Water he would never have found him. So...it had to be fate...there was no other explanation for it, none that he could give himself and believe.
He heard the small moan and at first didn't react because he thought it had come from a different cot. When he saw the hand move over the bandaged chest he stood up quickly and took the hand in his without thinking. He considered several things before he spoke and then decided. "Zechs..?"
Azure eyes snapped open and took in the surroundings, blinking a few times before finally settling on him. A small frown shaped the lips. Heero watched him silently still holding the hand he had picked up. "...Heero...?"
He nodded and then knelt next to the cot. "Hai... The doctor said you're lucky to have survived the blast. How long have you been living in this colony?" The azure eyes closed and then he thought Zechs had fallen asleep or unconscious again until he heard the baritone voice speaking slow and soft, almost too low to be heard.
"I expected to die...both times... the shuttle... I thought I had. I'm not sure why but I just left Earth and came out here. I couldn't make myself go back to the way things had been before. Here there aren't any reminders to make me remember things I don't wish to remember. I've been here for a couple years."
The eyes opened again and were tired, drained it seemed of color as they looked at him. It was almost frightening. Heero had a sudden foreboding and he was correct once more as the eyes closed and then the hand in his own gripped his as the baritone spoke again in a soft hiss. "I want you to do something for me...I know you can if you will..."
Heero went pale suddenly and then swallowed, jerking his hand away from the other slim hand. "No! You hear me...? I will not kill you and I'm not about to let you kill yourself. Why would you want to die? What about your sister and..." He trailed off as he almost spilled out the reason he had been sitting by the cot since he had found the tall blond. *...What about me...?*
He turned his back for a moment to wipe at his traitorous eyes before he turned to look back at him. "Why do you want to die?" he asked, making his voice flat and emotionless.
Zechs had pulled his arm back against his chest and then looked at him with those haunted azure eyes. "You know how it feels to live without someone you love...You should understand...you tried to follow Shadow..."
Heero swallowed the sudden feelings the name had brought up and then shoved them away hard, glaring at him. "I know, but you stopped me... you told me Duo wouldn't want me to do what I had planned... Why don't you listen to what you told me? Whoever it is that you loved wouldn't want you to suffer..."
The older man moved to sit up slightly on the cot, looking at him. "Heero...believe me...I've been doing that...why do you think I'm still here 12 years after his death...but I can't do it anymore...it hurts too much to even look at anything that's similar to Earth and go on."
Heero lowered his gaze for a moment, taking in what he had just said, and then realized. He looked up into the haunted gaze and then whispered softly. "It's Treize, isn't it...?"
The eyes shut and he saw the corners draw up in distress. Heero regretted saying it aloud and moved over stand beside the cot again. "Zechs...He would want you to stay...listen to me... there are people that still need you..." He slowly sat down next to him on the cot and absently ran a hand through the long hair, sighing. "I don't think I'll be able to lose another person and live myself..." he said softly, mostly to himself as he glanced at the hand still in the fall of platinum hair. He heard the small gasp and then lifted his gaze to look at Zechs's face . "Zechs...?"
Wide azure eyes met his and stared at him. "You feel that way...about.."
Heero sighed and took his hand out of the hair. Time to confess, said a small voice in his head. He silenced it and looked back at the startled face. "I do...Since you helped me get over my depression after his death...you were what I began to live for... When the accident happened and we all thought you had died in it..."
He shivered slightly at the memory and then continued. "I had to take a month's leave from work and they had Quatre and Trowa both checking in on me. But I slowly put myself back together...and I went on." He watched the other for a moment after his confession and then spoke again slowly, almost afraid to say the suggestion that had come to mind aloud. "Come with me...We can get an apartment on the colony if you can't go back to Earth...but give me a chance to change your mind."
He watched the wary look on the other's face and then added. "If by the time a month is over you still want to leave and join..." He stopped himself from saying the name again and rephrased his statement. "If you still feel that you want me to..." Heero swallowed and forced the words past his lips. "...kill you after the month is over, I will do it for you."
Heero felt the shiver run down his spine and then inwardly cursed himself for making the promise. What happened to not making promises you couldn't keep...? Now he'd gone and got himself into a rather sticky situation that he'd might not be able to get out of. He felt a slim hand on his shoulder and looked up at Zechs, trying to keep the emotions from his face.
At least the azure eyes had gotten some of their color back and had almost lost that haunted look. "Thank you...I'll accept your offer and we'll see what happens."
He nodded in response and then heard a throat being cleared behind them. He looked up to see the Doctor standing behind them. The man glanced down at the chart he held in his hand. When he looked back up at them, he frowned slightly at how close Heero seemed to be sitting next to Zechs. Heero ignored the dirty look he got from the doctor as he leaned closer to Zechs and lightly kissed him on the lips. Zechs kissed him back softly. Then Heero stood up from the cot and turned to give the tall blond one last look. "You better be here when I get back." Zechs nodded and then faintly smiled at the implied threat behind the words.
"I will...don't worry."
~*~
It was half way through the month and Heero glanced up from the laptop sitting on the kitchen counter over to the tall man standing in front of the stove who was stirring something that kept distracting him from the work he had been given to do from Water. "What is it you're making over there that keeps making those little noises I keep hearing?" he finally asked, shutting down the laptop and turning on the stool he sat on to face the stove and Zechs. "You've been messing with it all day...surely it should be done by now."
A small laugh came from the man in front of the stove and Heero gave it up as hopeless trying to get any straight answer from him. If there was one thing he should have learned by now it's that when Zechs was in the kitchen you couldn't get any kind of straight answer from him. He slid off the stool and then walked towards the living room taking the laptop with him. Heero had stopped just shy of the door when a spoon with some kind of red sauce in it appeared in front of him. He glanced up at the amused azure gaze and raised an eyebrow.
"You wanted to know what it was...taste it...that way I can see if I remembered how to make it correctly or if I messed up and it'll kill whomever eats it."
"So this is your great plan to rid yourself of me is it? Subtle, Zechs... I should've known there was a reason you took over the cooking, trying to poison me with food, ne?"
The spoon was withdrawn and gold hair flashed as the tall blond spun back to face the stove as if offended, which Heero knew he wasn't really. Of course the first time Zechs had done that he had thought he *had* offended him and ended up being reassured that had Zechs had only been teasing him. He snorted and shook his head, waiting for a moment before resuming his trip towards the living room.
The baritone voice caught him just as he was in the doorway. "It's spaghetti sauce...I started before you got up this morning because when you make it from scratch it takes all day to cook it."
Heero turned around in the doorway and stared at the faintly smirking blond in front of the stove. "You made that from scratch?"
There was an almost proud nod of the head and then he lost his attention as something on or near the stove dinged. Zechs opened the stove and took out a long narrow pan and set it on the cutting board that was next to the stove. Heero raised an eyebrow as Zechs lifted the lid of a different pan allowing a cloud of stream to escape it and then checked out the contents of it. "And it's almost ready to eat as well...I say dinner time or depending on how this turned out, execution time will be in less than an hour."
An hour and a half later they were sitting at the small table inside the small kitchen. Heero set his plate aside and then sighed as he watched the other man finish what he had and set his plate on top of the other. "Well, so far it hasn't killed us yet..." he said as he leaned back into the chair. The teasing earned him a smirk and faint snicker. "Where did you learn to cook like that? I never knew you could cook that well...the only other person I know who can is Trowa and he doesn't do it very often, unless Quatre begs him to."
The smirk became a slight smile at the praise and Zechs stood and began to clear off the table. "Here and there you could say..."
Heero pushed his chair back, standing to help him clear off the table and put the kitchen back into order. He then followed Zechs to the living room after they finished. Sitting down on the couch, he glanced up as he heard the yawn above him. He got a small smile and then watched as Zechs glanced back towards the hallway where the two bedrooms and bath were. "Tired?" he asked.
He received a nod in answer along with another small yawn. "Yes...I've been up all day since before dawn working on that sauce...I think I do need some rest."
The younger man nodded and waited for any sign that this would be the night that that something might break the routine of them both going their separate ways for the night. But Zechs gave him no signal that he wished for anything other than to sleep...by himself. Heero finally ripped his attention away from the now empty hallway and then turned on the laptop trying once more to get the work he had to do done.
~*~
Heero paced inside his room silently and sat down on his bed, making a sound borne from fear and frustration. It was the end of the month, time to see if he had convinced Zechs to stay with him among the living or join Treize in death. He was still afraid the blond might wish to join the General since they hadn't shared anything more than that one kiss when they had first made the deal.
He wasn't sure if he could go through with his promise if Zechs did choose death over him. He was angry with himself for forgetting what the end of the month had entailed and let himself fall deeper for him even though he could quite possibly lose him before the night was out and there wasn't anything he could do to change those facts.
The talk he and the tall blond had had last night over coffee hadn't set any of his fears to rest. He closed his eyes and remembered how he had found him brooding over a cup of coffee in the dark kitchen. He had made the decision to ask him what was on his mind. And the answer hadn't been something he'd wanted to hear.
'Will you keep your promise that you made? If I ask you to pull the trigger...will you actually do it for me?' Even recalling the words sent a wash of cold down his back. He had answered him after recovering his composure that he would always keep any promises he made to him. Now though with the pistol and the bullets lying on the stand by the door in front of him, he wasn't sure if he could. Not and keep the other promise he had made last night to him.
Zechs had nodded faintly in approval, it seemed, after he had said that he would and then he had asked him another question. `Will you promise me something else then?' He had asked what, he should have known better than to agree to it. He felt a lump form in his throat and ignored it as he let the promise echo once again. 'Promise me that if I should choose to go that you will stay...I don't wish you to kill yourself over me...' He had hesitated, and then almost blew up in his face at the audacity of such a promise that he was asking.
How selfish... Heero sighed and shoved the angered thoughts from his mind and then forced himself to his feet and over to the stand where the pistol lay. He didn't want to, but he didn't want to have any excuses for delays if he chose that way out of this deal. If there was any delay he might lose his willpower and not be able to keep his word and he had to or risk the other man's anger at the oath being broken.
He then heard the door open and set down the pistol, giving up on getting it loaded in the half-blinded state he was in now, and wiped at the tears building in his eyes. He opened his bedroom door and walked out into the living room, finding Quatre and Trowa standing there with Zechs seating himself on the couch. Trowa didn't look very pleased and Heero raised an eyebrow at Quatre before leaning against the chair across from the couch. "Trowa, Quatre...What brings you here?" he asked them, watching Quatre's eyes flicking back between Trowa and Zechs and finally to him.
Trowa spoke first uncrossing his arms from in front of his chest, the quiet tone of his voice holding a hint of anger to it; he wondered silently what had caused it. "Can I use your bathroom?"
The question took him by surprise and he nodded, gesturing towards the hallway. Trowa glared faintly at Zechs and then moved to walk past him and down the hallway.
Heero gestured towards the other seat for Quatre to sit down and then sat down himself as the empath sat down. "Quatre...what's wrong with Trowa?" he asked as he glanced at Quatre and then back at the hallway briefly.
He watched as Quatre hesitated and glanced at Zechs before answering. "Wind-sama told us about the deal you two had made and he wanted us to make sure you kept your promise.."
Heero glanced over at Zechs but the azure eyes were directed down and he couldn't see what was in them. But the cold shiver was back and once more chilling his spine. Could this mean that he had made his decision? That he would have to use the gun and...
He swallowed hard and looked back at Quatre. "I see... I keep my promises... as I already told Zechs. You don't need to fear that I will try to shoot myself afterwards if that's the choice he makes." He then heard Trowa walk back into the living room and watched him nod very faintly to Quatre.
Quatre sighed and then stood with his head bowed slightly and lightly touched Zechs on the shoulder. "Wind-sama, Please consider carefully before you choose." Heero watched Zechs nod faintly in response, and Trowa then nodded once in his direction in goodbye as he opened the door for Quatre.
After they had left he watched Zechs silently and then finally got up to go back to his room. He stopped though when he heard Zechs's voice speak softly. "Heero...I know you most likely wished that I would stay... but even though I thought I might be able to... I don't think I can... please if you will do what you..."
Heero turned around to face him, his face had gone pale at his words, but something hurt and snapped at the once more haunted azure gaze. He glared at the man still sitting on the couch and snarled at him. "Say it...I won't do it unless you tell me exactly what you want me to do. So if you want me to shoot you...to...to... *kill* you. You will have to say it or I *won't* do it!"
He spun then and walked into his room, slamming his door and throwing himself on his bed, anger and hurt warring against each other. He then remembered the gun and sat up to look over at the stand. It still lay there with the bullets lying around it. He slid off the bed and slammed each of them into the clip before slamming the clip home inside the pistol. He then heard his door open and spun to face it angrily.
Zechs stood inside the door and watched him silently for a moment before speaking softly and coming fully inside the room. "Heero... I'm sorry I am asking you for this..."
Heero snarled at him raising the pistol to point at him. "Silence! You're not sorry! If you didn't want me to do this you wouldn't be asking me to!"
Zechs nodded and sighed heavily before dull azure lifted to lock with tear-filled dark blue. "Then do it... please. Shoot me... like you said you would."
While Zechs continued to watch him, Heero began to shake slightly with pent-up emotion and finally pulled the trigger back. There was an explosion of sound and he heard Zechs gasp sharply in pain. His eyes widened and quickly scanned the other's tall frame. He saw right away that he had missed his intended target and hit him in the shoulder because there was a dark stain beginning to spread across the shoulder of the tan shirt he was wearing.
He cursed himself for causing Zechs needless pain and then wiped his eyes with the back of his hand before aiming again at him and pulling the trigger once more. He heard the sound of the gun firing and watched as Zechs fell back to fall to the ground. He gasped, dropping the gun, then took a small step backwards and ended up falling back as one of his legs hit the edge of the bed. He fell down towards the floor, smacking the back of his head against the edge of a chair that he had shoved away from the desk
earlier. There was a blast of pain through his skull before everything went white and then black.
~*~
Heero moaned faintly as he woke up and then moved his hand or rather tried to move his arm to move his hand but something was holding it down by his side. He then heard someone gasp faintly and felt hands messing with something. He opened his eyes and saw Quatre standing next to him and undoing a cuff that had been around his arm. After the other man finished with one he moved to his other side and repeated the actions, freeing both his arms.
"Why was I..." he began until he noticed where he was. He recognized the white barren walls and realized that he was in a hospital. The actions he had last done suddenly flashed through his mind and a small gasp escaped and he turned to Quatre, eyes wide.
The blond raised a hand before he could speak and then spoke softly. "Zechs is alive...The doctors took care of his shoulder and right now they're trying to figure out why he's still comatose, as its been two days since we brought you to the hospital."
Heero sat up quickly and stared at Quatre silently for a moment before speaking. "Zechs is alive?! How...I shot...I shot him in the chest and shoulder."
Quatre laid a hand on his shoulder. "The only bullet that did any harm to him was the one to the shoulder. The rest of the bullets in the clip were blanks." Heero stared at the hand on him and Quatre removed it from his shoulder and then shook his head. "There isn't any mark on his chest so besides his shoulder he's fine."
"Quatre I laid those bullets out myself. I know they weren't blanks," Heero hissed at the small blond.
Quatre shook his head as Heero finished and sighed as he watched him. "Trowa switched the bullets when we visited you before this happened. He knew you'd do it and so..."
Heero scowled and turned to glare at the figure he spotted sitting in the chair that was hidden halfway by the shadows that the light over his bed threw around the room. "You had no right! It was Zechs's decision and even though it hurt me, it was still Zechs's decision."
Trowa snorted in response and turned his head to look towards the small window that graced one wall.
"I simply did as he asked! What is so wrong with that? I had promised him I would do it!" Heero's eyes had narrowed as he had spoke. He watched the tall, long banged pilot staring towards the window with a hard glare.
Trowa looked back over at him and glared at him silently, before speaking, his tone cold. "He didn't need to die...it was a foolish and selfish decision."
Quatre sighed and then walked to stand between Heero and Trowa. "Guys... what matters now is that everyone's alive. We'll deal with Zechs later but for now, Heero, you need to rest. Trowa, calm down, please, for me?"
Trowa nodded and closed his eyes sitting back into the chair and leaning his head against the wall. Quatre sighed once more and then sat down next to him, taking Trowa's hand in his own. Trowa smiled faintly at the small blond.
Heero turned to lie down facing away and sighed softly in frustration before falling back asleep.
~*~
Heero sat next to the hospital bed and stared at the man that lay silent and still in it. He had been released several days ago and Trowa and Quatre had left him alone mostly after he had told them he would be staying in the hospital with Zechs. Of course Quatre still came by twice each day to make sure he had gotten some sleep and something to eat.
He shook his head at the situation he was in now. What if Zechs was going to stay like this for the rest of his life? He would have in a way gotten his wish; he wouldn't be reminded of the fact he was alive while the one he had cared about was gone from this world.
Heero ran his hand through the long platinum blond hair and just watched it as it fell through his fingers like water. He blinked away the tears that threatened him once again and pulled his hand away from the long silky hair. On impulse he stood and then lowered one of the rails that was raised on the side of Zechs's bed and sat down next to him. Laying his head down on his chest, he listened silently to the steady heartbeat under his head.
He looked up at the closed eyes and then closed his own eyes and took the hand that lay next to him in his own hand. "Zechs...I'm not sure if you can hear me or not...but I am sorry I was too weak to carry out what you wanted me to do. I should have realized what Trowa had done when I loaded the gun...but I was too blind, weak, and distracted to notice and now look where we are." He sighed and ran his thumb over Zechs's hand and listened to the heartbeat beneath his ear. "And the worst thing is I was too weak to tell you something that could have changed your mind. Zechs...I know it's most likely too late in coming, but...I love
you..." He felt the tears escape his eyes and hated himself silently for the weakness. He stiffened slightly in shock when he felt a hand run through his hair. He didn't move, afraid he had fallen asleep and this was a dream.
"...Heero?"
His eyes snapped open when he heard his name. He looked up sharply, first at the door which was still shut like he had left it and then down to the man beside him. Dark blue locked with azure and Heero's eyes widened slightly. "Zechs?"
He received a small smile and felt Zechs's hand rest on his shoulder. "You were talking to me?"
It took a few seconds to get his thoughts to work right to understand the question but he nodded in response.
"I thought so...In that case...I love you as well Heero... I've been thinking... and I just realized that."
Heero watched him silently before leaning down and kissing him softly on the lips. Zechs returned the kiss and he felt his hand return to run though his hair. He drew back slightly after a moment. "I want to go home...all right...?"
Zechs smiled and nodded. Heero sat up and slid off the bed, paging the nurse. After she came he sent her after the doctor. After speaking with him and Zechs's final examination he had Zechs back home that night.