Title: What's happened…has happened (1/?)

Author: gafan20

Pairing: Callie/Arizona

Rating: PG-13 (subject to change)

Summary: Sometimes things happen that we have no control over and we must learn to accept what has happened because fate always wins in the end.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Shonda Rhimes/ABC. I do not own anything. Any similarities to real life situations/persons are purely coincidental. Not for profit; for entertainment purposes only.

(Callie's POV)

It has been three years since the love of my life left me standing in an airport alone and heartbroken. Three years since she walked away and never even looked back once. I understand now that it was as much my fault as hers but three years and not one phone call. I have accepted what my life has come to be since that day and I am happy now or as happy as I can be because there is a part of me that she will always hold and I will never get back.

The first year was hell, I spent the first week crying in a hotel room praying that she would come back. Because I turned my life upside down for her giving up my job and apartment. The next few months I engulfed myself into my work. I love my job and breaking bones helped get me back into a routine but nothing helped me move on. For six months I walked around like a zombie, going through the motions of living and not feeling. Until one night I asked my best friend for help, sorbet.

" I want sorbet"

"Sweet tooth, I think I have cookies around here somewhere"

"Not that type of sweet tooth, I need…"

"oh, are you sure?"

"Yes!"

I knew that sleeping with him was not going to cure me or save me but it would give me the push that I needed to maybe put one foot in front of the other and start to live again. We became our old selves again and resorted to friends with benefits. Me not being the only one suffering from a heart break, he needed me as much as I needed him. The sex lasted about a month until both of us finally admitted that it was not working like we had wanted it to, I was still in love with her and he was still in love with his ex. We went back to being just friends, until one morning when I discovered what would become my true meaning for living and help me put the pieces to broke heart together again.

FLASHBACK

"oh god this can't be happening, two weeks late, who am I kidding I have always wanted a child but this definitely was not how I planned it. Oh my god a plus sign. I'm pregnant."

"Torres let's go, we are going to be late!"

"Coming"

PRESENTDAY

I had struggled to tell him just how late I was that day. I knew that he wanted kids just like me, but like me this could not be how he pictured bringing a child in to this world. A child conceived through sorbet.

However that night when he offered me my usual red wine and I had turned it down I knew that it was now or never. His reaction had surprised me. He walked toward me with this goofy grin on his face and hugged me.

" I know this is not how either of us wanted to do this but for some reason it feels right and I couldn't be happier."

"Really, you aren't mad?"

"Mad, how could I be mad? You know how badly I've always wanted a family. I'm elated, a little nervous but over all this is the best news I've heard in a while. I know that its scary for you and that your still hurting over her but this is our chance at a somewhat happy life. We are best friends who love and trust one another. We have been constants in each other's lives even through the hell we walked through at times. We can do this Cal and finally get a somewhat happy ending."

"I love you Mark"

"I love you too Cal"

What started out as one of the scariest days of my life, turned out to be one of the happiest. That was the first night that I fell asleep not hurt and upset thinking about being left in an airport by the one I thought had been my soul mate.

"Dr. Torres?"

As I looked up from the chart I was reading over I could see a very irritated Miranda Baily.

"Yes "

"Zoning out again I see. This wouldn't happen to have anything to do with a certain pediatric surgeon coming back to this hospital today, would it?"

" NO" I lied, why did I even bother lying when the whole hospital knows that I still long for her. And if this whole hospital knows then Baily certaintly knows because she is Baily and knows everything.

" Not that it's any of my business nor do I want to get involved but are you ready to see her again?" She cares about me I know that's why she is asking this question but I feel my anger boiling inside of me and I know that I am about to start crying or yelling I don't know which will come first but this is not what I wanted to talk about. Honestly I wanted to just ignore the whole subject of her for the remainder of my life. Guess that will not be happening.

"No, and I don't even know if I want too. But she will be working here again and we are going to have to work together at some point as much as I'd like to avoid her and hide….because I am so not ready to have to talk if she tries, or explain to her how I now have a son or that the father just happens to be the one guy she hated the most, not that it's any of her damn business considering she is the one that left me standing in an airport crying but yah I haven't really put much thought into her coming back." I quickly spoke these words, my voice a little louder than I expected and tears silently falling down my cheeks. Yep I had cried and yelled and have failed at burying this part of me.

"I can see that Torres, with the rambling and tears running down your face. You still love her and as much as you don't want to, you do and you better go prepare yourself because you are going to have to see her tonight."

"what?" I yell sounding shocked and confused.

"The chief wants all of us to welcome her back tonight in the conference room. So you will have to see her, and be able to withstand being in the same room with her."

"what?" I knew that at some point I was going to have to pull it together and see her again, I just planned on making it as long as possible by avoiding her and hiding from her for at least the first few months. But who was I kidding that would make it too easy and when it comes to my life, I apparently love it complicated and messy and hard. So thanks to whoever I owe that too.

"oh and Torres she is most likely going to try and talk to you because from what I hear, she still loves you too." And with that Miranda Baily walks away.

She still loves me. Had Baily really said that? What am I thinking she left me in an airport crying and for three years never even picked up the phone, I have a son now, a family well my own version of one but I have moved on. I am not the women she left in that airport. Snap out of it Torres and burry the happy, in love, pink bubble that she forces you in. She left you pop the bubble and return to reality.

After my awesome pep talk to myself, "oh my god stop using her words". I make my way to an on call room where Mark and our adorable son will be waiting for me. We have sort of made it a routine to eat lunch together every day, usually in the cafeteria but for some reason today Mark had paged me to our on call room. As I am walking to the door I start to flash back to the day he was born.

FLASHBACK

September 2011

I am lying in bed trying to sleep but the little bundle of joy in my uterus is making it rather difficult. He is usually an active little boy so the kicking and constant movement doesn't raise any alarm, just a little frustration because being up at 5am when I don't have to work is not something I'm excited about. I now feel something wet on my legs and on the bed, as I pull down the sheets I see a puddle of water and now I know what my son was trying to tell me. He wants out and right now. I quickly start feeling around on my dresser for my cell phone so I can call Mark.

I had moved back into my old apartment once the subletters had moved out. Mark and I had discussed possible living arrangements once I had told him about the baby, houses and apartments had come up but in the end we agreed that living together under the same roof would never allow us to move on romantically. Our next best idea was that we stay in this apartment building with him living in his and me across the hall in mine. That way we could always be around our little guy and yet have space to love again. Finding my phone I dial his number and wait for him to answer.

"Mark, its time"

"It's 5 in the morning I don't know what it's time for besides sleep Torres"

"No, Mark its time. You know for the baby to…"

"Oh my god, it's time for the baby to come out. Did your water break? Of course it did or otherwise you wouldn't be calling. I am on my way. Oh and Cal, I love you and I am so happy."

"I know Mark, me too, me too. Now hurry up because our son is an anxious little guy."

Mark came running through the door just as I was closing my cell phone. He helped me get up and change because I insisted on not walking over to the hospital looking like I just peed my pants.

Once changed and ready we made our way across the street where Christina was waiting with a wheel chair. She has become the person I leaned on the most after the airport fiasco. We understood each other on a weird level and helped one another move forward. She had been dealing with PTSD from the shooting and with my breakup, we just were drawn to one another. It took time but together we had learned to live again and that created a bond between us that could never be broken.

"I have already called Adi and she is upstairs along with everyone else. Now what do you say we get my god son out of your uterus and into the real world."

"I couldn't agree more Christina."

Mark walked by my side as Christina pushed me up to the delivery floor where Adi greeted us. The contractions lasted a few hours and then Adi was handing our son to Mark who brought him over to me and put him in my arms. He was the most precious little bundle of joy I could have ever imagined. Noah Sloan was born at 8 am September 2011. Both Mark and I looked at each other and smiled, we both knew that no matter what life threw at us we now had the family we always wanted and no one could take that away.

PRESENT DAY

As I open the door to the on call room I can hear my beautiful son Noah and my best friend his father giggling and laughing. I had obviously missed out on something funny.

"Hey look who it is, it's your mama" Noah looked up and started to reach for me, he truly did bring meaning to my mess of a life.

"Papi" I say as I take him in my arms and squeeze him tight and placing a kiss on his forehead.

I can see Mark looking on with a smile on his face but I can see that something is troubling him. I know him almost too well and can read him like a book, as he can do the same with me. This can make things a bit interesting between us.

As Noah gets comfortable in my arms playing with my stethoscope, which he is obsessed with lately, Mark believes it's because he will follow in his parents footsteps becoming a doctor. He is such a proud father. He has taken to this role like it was the most natural thing in the world. No one could believe how easy he made it look and the bond formed between the pair. I would sometimes watch them from afar and thank god for giving me and my son such a caring and loving father. He is everything and more that a father should be and it has only made me love him more. He breaks my train of thought when he takes my hand and looks at me for a while before he starts to speak.

"Cal, I know that you are aware that she is coming back today and I know you tell everyone that its nothing and your fine, but I know you. I know you so much that it sometime scares me because I never thought I would have an understanding of another human being the way I do of you. With that I know that ever since the Chief has made the announcement that she is coming back to this hospital to work, you have fallen back into the hurt and heartbreak that this little guy brought you out 2 years ago…"

"Mark, I…"

"Cal, please let me finish. I know you are struggling right now with your emotions. I know you are flipping back and forth from hate to love for her and maybe even guilt for not waiting for her but I just want you to know that I love you and I am here for you and Noah always no matter what. Whatever decision you make, letting her back in or completely hating her guts, I am here for you and I support you. Now as to the reason I called you here instead of meeting at our normal lunch table with all our friends. She is here!"

I am patiently listening to Mark tell me that he loves me and will support whatever decision I make. He is such a good guy, part of me wishes that we could have worked out to be more than friends because he is truly the guy that every girl dreams about getting married to and having kids with one day. But although we love each other, we were never in love with one another. And then I hear three words come out of my mouth that make my heart beat faster and my head feel light and my eyes blur.

"She is here? As is right now, in this hospital here Mark?"

"Yes"

He gently pulls Noah away from me and I start to get up and go look out the window. My thoughts are racing and I feel as if I may faint right here and now. It's raining outside and this is a norm in Seattle but the rain is a parallel to the tears that are now rushing down my cheeks. For the second time today I have cried and I haven't even seen her yet. She has this hold over me even after 3 years. She invades my thoughts, my emotions and there is nothing I can do to stop it even if I wanted it to stop because she is in control. As I close my eyes I can feel her presence lingering over me. This is the closest I have been to her in 3 years. There are no oceans parting us now, only 2 floors and a couple of doors. I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. Just like I don't know if I want to run to her or run from her fast. As I'm falling faster into my thoughts, I feel a hand on my shoulder and snap back to reality.

"Callie, are you alright. Answer me. You look as if you are going to pass out on me."

"I'm fine Mark. I just slipped into my thoughts a little deeper then I would have liked. But I'm alright and I'm back now."

"Are you going to tell me what those thoughts were or do I have to read you?"

"I knew she was coming back today, I mean we have talked about it for the past month. I knew it was going to happen, but I feel like I've just been hit with a hundred bricks at once when you said she is here. No matter how much we talked about it and me trying to prepare myself for this day I'm still stuck in disbelief and shock. So just give me a sec to pull myself together okay?"

"We can sit here as long as you need. Noah is in no rush to leave his mama."

Mark always knows when I need to talk and when to just let me go to figure out my thoughts and feelings. He knows exactly how to put a smile on my face when tears have just washed down it. Him and Noah are smiling up at me and all of a sudden I feel as if I am being brought back to reality and some sort of calmness. I look at him and smile back and kiss both of my guys on their foreheads.

"I am okay I promise. I may have lost it there for a moment but you and our precious son keep me from completely falling to pieces again. I know you will support me in any decision I make but I want you to understand that my first priority is you and our son. You two come before anything else in my life and that will never change. As for you know who, I don't know how I feel but I do know that I will not be jumping into her arms any time soon. It's been 3 years and things have changed and I am a completely different person then the one she left standing in that airport crying. I know I will have to work with her but as of right now that's all that will be happening."

As I finish telling him what I have to say I can see that he is somewhat shocked at what I am saying. He like everyone else probably thinks I will run back into her arms at first glance. I have a reputation of being a hopeless romantic but that was pre mama and now this post mama is a little more cautious and weary of love and the effects that it will have on her family. I know that what I just told him is only words and my actions may differ from them when I finally do see her and look into those piercing blue eyes that have always captured every ounce of my being but I know deep down as much as I still do love her, I have not forgiven her.

"I love you and so does Noah. We love you and we are here for you no matter what"

"I know"

I know all this because he has proven this time and time again.

"We are to meet in the conference room at 7 tonight. Well that's what the email said anyways. I guess that's when everyone is going to be welcoming her back. Are you up for it? Because we don't have to go, I am sure we can come up with some sort of excuse…"

"Mark it's fine, we can go. Anyways if we didn't go I'm not too sure how that would look."

" Okay so I will take little Noah here back to daycare and we can meet here at 6:30 and walk up together."

"Sounds perfect"

Before he leaves I kiss my baby on the cheek and tell him I love him so much. He giggles and Mark and I start to laugh with him. Mark turns to open the door and I find myself asking him the one question that has been bothering me all month since I found out she was returning.

"Does she know?"

He stops turning the handle on the door and says "No, no one has ever told her about him or us. I thought it would be best if this information came from you, everyone knows to keep their gossiping mouths shut about this."

"Thank you Mark"

And with that he proceeded to walk out with our son, leaving me with my thoughts about why that question bothered me so much. I suppose I felt guilty for not waiting for her, although she made it very clear that we were over when she walked away. I still had this hope that maybe she waited too and just maybe we could be together again but that notion was struck down when I had found out she was really coming back and remembered that now I have a son, Noah. I continued to ponder over these thoughts for a few more minutes until I realized I still had a job to do.

When I left the on call room I headed to do rounds and unconsciously avoided elevators, empty halls, and the pediatric floor. I was hiding without even knowing it. I hurried through rounds and found myself charting at a nurses station when Christina came up and punched me in the shoulder.

"Torres, still lost in lala land trying to figure out how to avoid your girl friend?"

"Shut it Yang, she is not my girl friend anymore and she hasn't been in 3 years."

"What is it not true? You have been hiding all day. You and Mark and my god son were MIA for lunch and don't think that a certain someone who was there didn't notice that detail."

"You ate lunch with her? How was she? Did she say anything about me? You didn't tell her did you?"

"Whoa, calm down Torres. Yes she was at lunch with the norm group except Derek, Meredith, and Baily were in surgery. She looks good but sounds like shit. You can tell this is not as easy as she thought it would be to be back but she is trying her hardest to hide it. She did not mention you or Mark and no one else did either, your lesbian drama is between you two. And no one will mention your kid out of wedlock either."

"Okay good"

We stand there laughing at each other because we have found our past traumas now as an inside funny joke that only we can understand.

"It's almost time for the big welcome back meeting, you ready for it?"

She has stopped laughing and now shows a look of concern and understanding. I smile at her to let her know I am okay with all this and then look at my watch to learn that it is 6:15 pm and now the smile and calmness on my face starts to diminish leaving panic and fear. I must have lost track of time doing rounds and charts. Just when I wanted time to stop, it speeds up. I look at Christina,

"I am as ready as I'll ever be." I say trying to sound strong and confident.

"You want to walk up together maybe hide in a closet for a few minutes and watch her panic at the thought of seeing you again? Could be real funny?"

"As much fun as that sounds like, I am suppose to meet Mark at 6:30."

"Oh yah baby daddy trying one last attempt to make you his?" She says laughing.

"You have a twisted sense of humor Yang but you definitely know how to calm my nerves, thank you." And with that I walk down the hall towards the on call room.

She is just as nervous to see me as I am her, which makes me feel a little bit better. I am approaching the nurses station, when I hear some nurses gossiping and stop to listen when I hear my name.

"She has been looping this hospital like she is in a marathon all day. I swear she is trying to find Dr. Torres as much as she is denying it." The nurse that i cant remember the name of says.

She is really looking for me? What could she possibly want with me now? She left me and never looked back. And now I hear Kelly start to talk.

"She thinks that she can just come back after 3 years and what, pick up where they left off after she dumped her and left her in an airport?"

Good point Kelly, I knew I always liked you, I think to myself.

"I guess so." Another says.

"Well I for one hope Dr. Torres does not take her back, after what she did I wouldn't."

"I know she hurt her but they were so perfect together, they were the epitome of what true love really is."

I don't know what nurses said the last comments but when I heard the words true love I wanted to scream.

"Well if being able to leave your true love standing in an airport crying is what true love really is I for certain am glad I have never found it. I don't think I could have found the strength like Dr. Torres did to move on." Kelly stated.

"She never moved on, she got pregnant by her sex buddy." The other nurse said.

Wow nurses really do have nothing better to do then gossip. I can't stand here and listen to anymore of this or I may throw up the little lunch I did have. I practically run past the nurses station and into the on call room slamming the door behind me.

Leaning on the door with my eyes shut I can hear someone else breathing in here and scared to open my eyes I feel arms pulling me into a warm hug. I know it is not her, but I still couldn't open my eyes. Maybe it is the longing I have for it to be her and the realization that if I open my eyes and it is not her, my heart will break into smaller pieces then it has already been broken into.

"Hey, are you alright?"

Marks words bring me out of my dream like trance and yes the realization that it's not her does hurt. This scares me beyond belief. Now I know I want her. Me being the calm, cool, altogether person I wanted to be is not out the door. My breathing is picking up and tears start to form in my eyes when he starts speaking again I lose all resolve.

"Cal, talk to me"

"I…I can't do this. I thought I was strong enough. That I was ready to see her again. That after 3 years I would finally be over her, but I am not over her or anywhere near being over her. I love her and I miss her and I am mad at her and hurt still and now I am a complete and total mess again and I thought that I wasn't anymore so how can I walk into that conference room and not be this..."

He shakes me out of my rambling and looks me deep in the eyes.

"I know this is scary right now for you, because you don't exactly know how you feel about her anymore but avoiding her and hiding from her is not going to clear the confusion. You need to see her, and maybe not right this second talk to her but eventually talk to her and get some sort of closure. I will be right there with you every step of the way and we will get through this, I promise."

"I haven't been hiding and avoiding her" Okay maybe that was a lie but in all honesty I didn't know I was. He starts to smile at this statement because he knows how big of a lie it is, which in turn makes me laugh and the tears subside.

"Yes you have, I saw you duck in an out of patient rooms all day long. You could be a pretty damn good spy if you ever wanted to change careers. Probably even get more ass then Mr. Bond himself.

There is was the playboy Mark that has been in hiding for so long. As much as I love the adoring father side of him I must say I also love man-whore side too. With that comment I am now laughing so hard that I have forgotten all about the nurses gossip and the fact that I have to see her in a few minutes.

"You all good now? Because we should probably head on up." He says, with a smile.

I look at him and smile and nod my head. He pulls me in for one last hug and kisses the top of my heard, whispering into my ear "I love you Cal, always will."

With those last words we pull apart and head out of the on call room and to the conference room where all our friends who have become a family will be waiting to welcome back the women that I still am in love with even after being dumped in an airport.

As we get closer to the room and I can see everyone sitting around the conference table as my eyes are scanning the room quickly looking for the blonde with blue eyes.

"She is still with the Chief" I hear someone say to me as we enter the room. I guess everyone can read my face now. We find two empty chairs in the corner of the room closest to the door to sit in and I know Mark was doing this as a favor to me. Easy escape route in case I can't handle this. Everyone is talking to each other but I can't hear a word they are saying all I can hear is the beating of my own heart. I look over to Mark "I can't do this!" I say.

I get up and practically run out of the room and I can hear Mark yelling at me to wait but I just want to get out of here as fast as possible. I turn the corner heading to the elevator that is just opening like it knew I needed a fast exit and all of a sudden I feel a body collide with mine and I end up falling on top of this person feeling like I just got the wind knocked out of me. I slowly open my eyes knowing fate has a funny way of getting its way and remembering why all day I chose the stairs. I gasp and she opens her eyes. Blue eyes meet brown and we freeze for what felt like eternity, which was probably only seconds.

"Calliope" She says in the softest most beautiful voice I have ever heard.

No one has called me that since she left. I wouldn't even let my own family call me that anymore. It hurt too much to hear anyone call me by that name, knowing that it only sounded right coming from her.

"Arizona" I stutter out so quietly that it's barely hearable.

There it was the name I never thought I would say again nor wanted to, escaping my lips as I still lay on top of her never letting my eyes break contact with hers.

The elevator doors close, and I know that fate has once again won and has prevented me from running away.