Rating: PG-15
Word count: 1801
Warnings: Sexual references
Pairing:Spock/T'Pring for no, with brief mention of T'Pring/OC. Will end up in Kirk/Spock and T'Pring/Uhura in a few chapters.
Summary: My take on T'Pring's life in this universe (which is quite different from the one she had in TOS). [Summary to be improved]
Betas: Nereid and Carouselcycles
Notes: Okay, I know, my Vulcans seam very (too) emotional. But, to me, they are as – or even more – emotional as Humans, just better at hiding it (and also their emotions are different… like more difficult to cause but stronger). So, among themselves, they are sometimes a bit less repressed (specially between close friends or family) than when they're with other races. Their "poker-face" being a way to protect them from the strange aliens that live in this universe. So, yes, T'Pring is emotional, that's normal. Things will be different once she's living with people who are not only Vulcans.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Star Trek characters.

Sic Itur Ad Astra
Chapter I – Different

Different. If T'Pring had to — even if it was totally illogical — define Spock with one single word, she would have choosen 'different'.

In the beginning, when they were seven and were introduced just before their bonding ritual, she thought of it as an insult.
Spock was different; he was a hybrid. And what struck T'Pring the most when they first met was to see his eyes. They were so different, too expressive, too human. She knew it was illogical to think so but nonetheless she believed that it would be a chore to face those eyes every day of her life.

However, her thoughts had no reason to be said out loud and the ceremony went on without her talking about them.

She was agreeably surprised by the bond which was nothing like she had expected. Her cousin T'Nian, who was two years older, had compared the link to an ear piercing: painful in the beginning and less and less as one heals, but one was never exactly the same as before. T'Pring had therefore prepared herself for some pain, especially given that she doubted the telepathic abilities of a hybrid.
There was no pain at all and she would have been more inclined to compare the bond to a heavy bracelet. It was something one had consider in one's actions, but it neither hurt nor fundamentally changed oneself.

Comparing was logical. T'Pring and her cousins compared a lot. From a very young age, they compared their experiences and so established empirical means. Even if, while a scientific and logical process, the experiences were not numerous enough for their results to be representative.
As they grew up, they slowly abandoned metaphors to choose more precise words, but they kept on comparing.

And those comparisons clearly showed T'Pring that Spock was different. She was always average compared to her cousins, but as soon as it was about their bondmates, she stood apart.
Sometimes she would not mind, because when they compared their bondmates' test scores Spock was always better than the others. He was extremely gifted, even on a Vulcan scale. However, generally the comparisons would cruelly remind her that she was bonded to a being who was different and therefore so was she.

Undoubtedly, the worst incident had been that one time when Spock had fought with some of his classmates. This fit of emotions had shamed T'Pring, because none of her cousins' bondmates had ever acted in such fashion.
That had been the moment when what she had feared, without even admitting it to herself, had started to happen; from that moment on, her cousins considered her to be different.

They would always make cutting remarks. Like that one time when her youngest cousin T'Saj had seen her bondmate in a rather informal outfit and had been alarmed by the extent of his hairiness, which had seemed too thick to her. T'Nian had reassured her by saying it was totally normal for someone his age… at least for someone who was fully Vulcan, she had added with a side look to T'Pring, as if to remind her that Spock could not be compared to their bondmates.

T'Pring would not react, but she held a grudge against Spock, because he was different and, because of him, so was she.
Until then, she had avoided him since she preferred to know nothing about him and make the most of her freedom before they were fully bonded. But at seventeen, when her friends and cousins began to treat her like an outcast, she decided to go to him, to look at him, straight in his human eyes, and tell him how much of a hell her life had become because of him.

Spock listened to her without showing any emotions, apart from a certain softness in his eyes, that she, being totally unfamiliar with human displays of emotion, would have been unable to interpret. But her bond gave her the realization that Spock felt compassion for her. That surprised her and calmed her as well.
Then she listened to his perfectly controlled voice as he explained that he too was a victim of discrimination every single day and therefore perfectly understood her anger. He also told her that, before they were bonded, he asked his parents not to choose bondmate for him, in order to prevent discrimination against a female who might not have wanted him. Unfortunately his parents had refused, deeming it to be illogical not to raise him in complete accordance with Vulcan culture and unworthy of the House of Surak to let him grow up without a proper bond.

That day, for the first time, they talked and she realized that she did not know him. Yes, he was different, but maybe it was not that bad.
Anyhow, he managed to give her back some serenity and she no longer held a grudge against him, having realized that it was illogical to resent him when he had not chosen her. She could have held a grudge against Sarek for wanting his son to bon despite his warnings, but she understood that he had wanted to erase Spock's difference as much as possible. She finally arrived at the conclusion that it was illogical to feel anger toward something that could not be changed.

It was the Elders who determined the compatibility of the children before bonding them. And they had sensed that she and Spock could complete each other. They never failed and the pairings they formed were harmonious, even without love.
And yet, until then, she had doubted the Elders' choice — but also doubted of herself, wondering if she was telepathically unfit and so they had no other choice than to pair her with the hybrid with whom no one could really fit. But now she understood their choice; Spock could at least accept her as she was, without comparing her to anyone else.

After that, she still considered Spock as different, but that was no longer a bad thing; it was a neutral statement. He was different, that was all, and if she had to be different as well, that was not really important.
This change of point of view helped her to calm down and to stay cold while facing the others' comments; to simply ignore them. And if the exercise was sometimes difficult, some hours of meditation were enough to bring her back to serenity.

Some years later, when Spock refused to enter the Science Academy, T'Pring was first shocked by his impudence. But, thinking about it, she realized that it was in fact the only logical course of action. Spock was different, so he could not simply follow the path that was made for the average Vulcan.
She knew that the way her bondmate had choosen was going to be difficult, but she was only prouder of him for it because she knew that he would be happier this way.

Spock had been on Earth for a few years when he had to come back to Vulcan as soon as possible, to answer to the needs of Pon Farr. They were twenty-three and that was when the adjective 'different' applied to her bondmate became a compliment to T'Pring.
Not really because of Pon Farr itself — even though it was better than what she had thought. Maybe it was Spock's human ancestry that gave him enough lucidity to worry about his bondmate's pleasure and not only about his own… Anyway, it was a pleasant affair and she was almost disappointed when, after sixty-height-point-two hours of sex, Spock's fever ended.

It always took a bit longer for Vulcan females to recover from Pon Farr than it took males and when Spock had left the room, leaving her breathless on their bed, she didn't imagine he would come back a few minutes later with a light meal. They ate in silence, sitting on the bed — which was not very logical, but the sheets needed to be changed as soon as possible anyway — then Spock sat behind her and, after asking her permission, spent almost an hour delicately combing out her hair.
They used this hour to talk, deciding how to cope with the distance that would separate them and the mental shields necessary to keep their own thoughts to themselves without having any negative impact on their bond. This would be difficult, since the distance weakened the bond and they'd therefore have to live with shields weaker than average, which risked harming their respective private lives.

Even though Vulcan society was quite permissive regarding adultery – as long as it was discreet and did not end up with children – the majority of Vulcan males were extremely possessive of their bondmates once the bond was sealed. That did not prevent them for having lovers, but they were extremely quick to challenge in a duel those who touched their official mates.

Weak mental shields were therefore an all but pleasant prospect for T'Pring, but Spock offered her an unforeseen deal. In order to avoid him being illogically and uncontrollably jealous because of discovering an affair, she would have to keep him informed of her interest in a Vulcan or another and of the progress of their relationship – should they start one. Thus, she would not have to block her emotions, since he would know their origin and be able to easily suppress his possessiveness with a few hours of meditation. That would work because, whatever compromising situation should T'Pring choose to throw herself in, she would do it with his consent.
He was of course not certain that it would work, but estimated the probability of success to be high enough for them to try, so T'Pring accepted the deal. In compensation, Spock agreed also give her all the details concerning his own potential affairs.
He went back to Earth two days latter and T'Pring decided not to talk about their deal with anyone for the moment.

Six months later, when a Vulcan three years younger than her, named Sral, started to court her, she sent a message to Spock suggesting that they test the deal. She did not plan on entering a relationship with Sral, but he was particularly charming and there was nothing illogical in spending some time in his company in order to give her mind an occasion to relax and focus on something other than her usual routine.
The experiment went perfectly well and Spock's difference became a blessing to T'Pring despite their bond, she was free. Nevertheless, she did not abuse this freedom, seeing no logic in depraving herself without reason. On the other hand, she made it a personal duty to mention it every single time one of her cousins tried to hide from their bondmate.

To be continued…