Chapter 1: so let it rain and wash me away

Disclaimer: And the shocking reality is I don't own Hana Yori Dango.

Through the rain Makino Tsukushi looked at the embracing couple under the purple umbrella. The petite girl reached up in attempt wipe away the wetness on my cheeks unsure if it was rain or tears. Although her mind screamed for her to move away, to be anywhere but here, her feet stayed glued on to this patch of the pavement.

Hanazawa Rui. The boy with the icy stare, he had claimed a special place in her heart from the first time their eyes met, almost as if the place was saved for him all along. She tried hard not to recall all the times she had sat in he emergency staircase, trying not to peer at the slumped form in the corner. She tried hard not to remember his cold expression even as the neatly folded square of handkerchief was offered to her; he always had a way to make her lose the fight against her tears immediately and completely. If only Hanazawa-san had not saved her so many times. If only he hadn't sat there quietly through her hardest times. Maybe her heart wouldn't feel like it was broken into a million pieces by this sight. Maybe then she could walk by smiling and wish him happiness.

Makino felt herself wobbling on her feet and leaned against the wall, feeling as if there was no strength left in her she slid down, burying her face into her knees in a huddle. Hiding her face under her wet hair. She knew this was all her doing. She knew fully well that for the last two years while all that was in her mind was Hanazawa-san. He was thinking about Toudou-san. His every mood change determined her mood. She understood that the deep loneliness in him cannot be filled by her; it was never in her place to.

Her tears fell uncontrollably now, she really can't blame him for she's only ever troubled him.

"Here, wipe yourself with this."

I turned around quickly, arranging myself into a fighting stance. I panted, observing my opponent from the feet carefully. He was tall with a slim built. His complexion was so pale like that of a boy who's never seen the sun. Rather unhealthy, I thought. Well that goes better for me since then he'd be easier to fend off.

Then I saw his eyes. His soul-searching deep eyes, I drew in a deep breath and couldn't help but relax down my defenses. Instinctively I knew he meant me no harm.

"Well, are you going to take it?" He said curtly.

I reached out and took the blue handkerchief from him, examining it thoroughly. Making sure everything was okay; I relaxed and wiped my face with it. I looked up, about to say thank you only to find the strange boy walking away already.

"Your handkerchief!"

"Keep it. You've dirtied it anyway." He walked away without looking back.

I frowned. What's with the indifferent behavior? I looked at the handkerchief. Hanazawa Rui? That's his name? I smiled, what a beautiful name.

Makino smiled tenderly, she still had the handkerchief folded up in her treasure box. She had meant to give it back every time she took it out and touched the sewn Hanazawa Rui gently, she couldn't help make allow herself to keep it for another day. I should really return it now, she thought miserably and couldn't stop the memories flowing back.

The melancholic music soothed my mind. I steered to the sound unwillingly unable to resist the pull of my heart. I slipped into the dark music room quietly, careful not to make a sound.

There was only one beam of light on the stage, it lighted up a lone figure. It's him! I breathed in surprised. His eyes were not cold at all this time. No, they were warm like hot chocolate but there was still a touch of sadness within. I couldn't pull away, couldn't move, helplessly trapped by his music, listening to him play the same melody over and over again.

Suddenly he stopped placing his violin gently into a worn old leather case.

I held my breath as he walked up the aisle towards me. He saw me! I realized with a start. He walked straight up and passed me by then paused. "I don't like to be spied upon." He said coldly with his back to me. The tenderness that I have seen earlier disappeared altogether.

"I—uh—sorry—ah. I'm just here to say thank you." I finished lamely. My cheeks burning.

"If I had known you would be so bothersome I wouldn't have done anything." Was his reply. He opened the door and was gone.

"I'll still go to the emergency stairs to find you!" I gave my last try.

"Then I won't go there anymore."

The rain has now soaked through all of the motionless girl's clothes. Now, at least there was no physical pain. But the pain in her heart couldn't be numbed as easily. She should have stayed away; she shouldn't have lingered in the emergency staircase all that time, hoping to catch a glimpse of him. But even now, she couldn't bring herself to regret it. Because it was in the staircase that she grew to love him. She could never forget all the time they had spent there.

I opened the creaky door with caution. Looking around searching for him. To my surprise today he was there before me.

"Hi!" I chirped happily. He just glanced at me as reply. I sat down next to him pulling down my bag. "Can you believe holidays have finally started?" I paused out of habit, though I wasn't expecting an answer from him.

"Can you stay here tonight?" Hanazawa-san asked suddenly.

"Huh?" My eyes widened. Am I hallucinating? I shook my head. Have I finally gone crazy from the silence? Because Hanazawa-san rarely says a word and had never asked me anything.

"Will you stay with me on the stairs tonight?" He asked again. This time capturing my gaze. This was a rare glimpse of loneliness and desperation so unmasked in his eyes.

"Sure." I couldn't have replied any other way.

"Good." he smiled. My ears burned immediately and looked away trying to bat my out of control hormone system back in place.

I stayed with him till I feel asleep leaning on the wall. He pushed me awake gently at god knows what time. "Move away." He said sharply. I jumped up taken aback.

Fireworks shot up just as I jumped away. My hair was almost sizzled, my eyes watered. "Hanazawa-san! Are you crazy! I could have been burnt or—"

I stopped as I saw him with his head bowed down, his eyes were closed. He almost looked like a five-year-old boy wishing on his birthday.

I closed my eyes too. Wishing for his happiness. Please, please, if anyone's out there, please don't let him be so lonely anymore.

"When I was younger, a friend once told me." Hanazawa-san's hoarse voice began quietly. "When the sun is rising for a new day, that's when the angels are setting out. At that time if you light fireworks, your wishes have a higher chance of coming true."

It's true then, the fireworks had worked, Makino thought numbly, although the angels had taken their time in granting it. She wondered how long he had known Toudou-san was coming back? Thinking back to this afternoon.

I pulled on my bag walking out of school as the sky grumbled, signaling the start of a thunderstorm. I groaned at this unlucky turn of events, but the storm just replied by raining down heavily. I pulled out the purple umbrella blessing my mother for listening to the weather report yesterday.

It was then I saw him standing in the rain. Staring into the sky. Rain dripping down his hair, tracing his beautiful figures. I ran to where he was standing quickly.

"What are you doing!" I ran over and tried to shield us both with the umbrella. "You'll catch a cold if you stand in the rain."

Suddenly as if snapped out of a trance, he grasped my forearm tightly, "Makino, have you ever met anyone who is very important to you?"

The question came so suddenly that I was left sputtering incoherently and blushing furiously. "Y-yes." I was finally able to get out.

"What if they were hurt?"

Surprising even myself I answered fiercely, "I would protect them with my life."

Hanazawa-san's held my gaze evenly for a few seconds, then he murmured "Thank you." Turning away, he ran into the rain.

"Wait!" I ran after him. "Take this." I pushed my umbrella into his hands. And ran away in the rain. My heart dropping as I watched his fading back. I had a feeling that Hanazawa-san would never need me to talk to him everyday and stay with him to light fireworks anymore.

I stopped around a corner. Looking back into the rain, at where he had gone. Through the thin sheets of water. I saw my purple umbrella, underneath it was a pair of embracing couple. I could just see hazel hair peeking out.

I stood in the rain. Suddenly at that moment all I wanted was to go back to the emergency staircase and find Hanazawa-san sitting in his corner peacefully.

The bitter wind wrapped like a cold blanket around Makino's numb body. How shall I act around Hanazawa-san tomorrow? She wondered. Shall I smile and congratulate him like I should? Do I really care what happens tomorrow?

Makino couldn't be sure of anything now. For so long her world have revolved around a pair of icy cold eyes. She had been like a bird held captive in Hanazawa-san's gaze. Now that she has her freedom back she realized just how empty it was. She sighed and her tired body gave in to sleep at last.

The harsh sunlight caused the slouched girl to shield away.

"What are you doing in my parking space?" An angry voice roared.

Sorry, sir, you really didn't catch me on a good day, Makino thought grimly. "Who says this is your parking space? I don't see your name on it!" A massive headache was building up and Makino rubbed her throbbing temples. She readied herself for the hostility to come.

But to her surprise, there was no come-back. Her eyes watered as it finally got used to the sunlight, and she looked up to see a boy with hideous curly hair and a ridiculous smile on his face.