On Today's edition of Jerry Springer....
Aliens and their secret lovers
Now here's your host, Jerry Springer!
Jerry: (Walks onto stage amid cheers from the audience) Thank you! Now I'd like to start the show by welcoming our first guests, Commander Jim Raynor and Kerrigan, Queen of Blades!
Audience: (Cheering)
Jerry: Now, Kerrigan, I understand that you're a human/Zerg hybrid that's been dating Raynor for awhile, right?
Kerrigan: Yes, that's true, Jerry. We've been together for a year (each exchange a kiss).
Audience: Awwwwwwww!
Jerry: Then perhaps you can explain to Raynor your other lover.
Raynor: What!?!
Jerry: What do you say, audience. Shall we bring out the Secret Lover?
Audience: YES!
Jerry: All right then. Meet Kerrigan's secret lover, Zeratul!
Zeratul: (Walks out, greeting the audiance)
Raynor: I'm gonna kill you, you BEEPing BEEP!
Zeratul: Come and try it, you half-brained monkey!
Raynor: (Leaps at Zeratul but is stopped in mid-air by his psionic powers)
Zeratul: You are no match for me, monkey-boy!
Raynor: Kerrigan, how could you ever love this guy? He's got no BEEPing mouth or BEEP!
Kerrigan: Well, he's financially secure and really listens to my thoughts. And he pleasures me without a BEEP!
Jerry: Perhaps we'll reveal Zeratul's secret lover. What do you say, audience?
Zeratul: What?
Audience: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!
Jerry: All right, let's bring out our next Secret Lover, Daggoth!
Kerrigan: Daggoth!
Daggoth: (Slithers onto the stage) Zeratul is mine now and forever.
Kerrigan: You BEEP! Stay away from my man! I mean alien!
Audience: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!
Daggoth: Let's have a go at it, you little BEEP! I was always The Overmind's favorite.
Kerrigan: BEEP you, you BEEP! (Jumps onto Daggoth, slashing it to pieces)
Raynor: Hello! I'm still hanging in mid-air, here!
Zeratul: Oh, right, sorry. ("Throws" him into the camera, the words TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES- WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK appear on the screen)
Arcturus Mengsk: (looks over to the other side of the couch at Edmund Duke) Well, ain't that the weirdest Jerry you've ever seen?
Edmund Duke: Like hell it was. Did I ever mention I love you?
The End
Aliens and their secret lovers
Now here's your host, Jerry Springer!
Jerry: (Walks onto stage amid cheers from the audience) Thank you! Now I'd like to start the show by welcoming our first guests, Commander Jim Raynor and Kerrigan, Queen of Blades!
Audience: (Cheering)
Jerry: Now, Kerrigan, I understand that you're a human/Zerg hybrid that's been dating Raynor for awhile, right?
Kerrigan: Yes, that's true, Jerry. We've been together for a year (each exchange a kiss).
Audience: Awwwwwwww!
Jerry: Then perhaps you can explain to Raynor your other lover.
Raynor: What!?!
Jerry: What do you say, audience. Shall we bring out the Secret Lover?
Audience: YES!
Jerry: All right then. Meet Kerrigan's secret lover, Zeratul!
Zeratul: (Walks out, greeting the audiance)
Raynor: I'm gonna kill you, you BEEPing BEEP!
Zeratul: Come and try it, you half-brained monkey!
Raynor: (Leaps at Zeratul but is stopped in mid-air by his psionic powers)
Zeratul: You are no match for me, monkey-boy!
Raynor: Kerrigan, how could you ever love this guy? He's got no BEEPing mouth or BEEP!
Kerrigan: Well, he's financially secure and really listens to my thoughts. And he pleasures me without a BEEP!
Jerry: Perhaps we'll reveal Zeratul's secret lover. What do you say, audience?
Zeratul: What?
Audience: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!
Jerry: All right, let's bring out our next Secret Lover, Daggoth!
Kerrigan: Daggoth!
Daggoth: (Slithers onto the stage) Zeratul is mine now and forever.
Kerrigan: You BEEP! Stay away from my man! I mean alien!
Audience: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!
Daggoth: Let's have a go at it, you little BEEP! I was always The Overmind's favorite.
Kerrigan: BEEP you, you BEEP! (Jumps onto Daggoth, slashing it to pieces)
Raynor: Hello! I'm still hanging in mid-air, here!
Zeratul: Oh, right, sorry. ("Throws" him into the camera, the words TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES- WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK appear on the screen)
Arcturus Mengsk: (looks over to the other side of the couch at Edmund Duke) Well, ain't that the weirdest Jerry you've ever seen?
Edmund Duke: Like hell it was. Did I ever mention I love you?
The End