Title: L: The Pervert Extraordinaire

Summary: One-shot! L swears that he isn't a pervert. Yes, he is watching Raito Yagami purely for investigation purposes…but why does it feel otherwise? Gender-switch! LxGirl!Raito, slight NearxOC

Genre: Humor, Romance

Rating: T, for L pervert-ness


L: The Pervert Extraordinaire

Oneshot

The great detective L sighed to himself, turning to see that police chief Soichiro Yagami had fallen asleep on the sofa they were seated on, and painstakingly removed himself from the couch, but most importantly, his strawberry cake, to find the chief a blanket. Contrary to popular belief by those who have met him – who are very few, mind you – L wasn't too much of a cold-hearted man; he cared for many things like any human being, and was not a robot, so yes he also had feelings like anyone else.

So what if he was the so-called greatest detective in the world? Does this truly mean that L has to be an old, cold-hearted man? Of course not! After all, L is not old, and is quite young for his position, in his opinion, and most certainly is not cold-hearted.

Absolutely not.

He might care for fewer things than your average person, but at least he still cares. At this thought, his mind drifted over to Near, one of his many successors, as he scrounged around a closet to find a warm blanket to cover Soichiro Yagami with. In many ways, Near reminded L of himself, but the boy was so…detached from others, a lot more than L himself was, and it truly did seem like he could be exactly like one of those robots he likes to play with – cold with no emotions whatsoever.

Though L believed that, deep down, even Near cared for some thing.

In fact, he saw him hanging around with one of the girl's in Wammy's Orphanage from time to time. Dove, her name was, he believed. Of course, this was not her real name – merely an alias.

Finally spotting a blanket in the cluttered closet, L grabbed it and pulled it out, trying not too make what appeared to be, in his opinion anyway, pile of garbage topple over and out of the closet, he closed the door swiftly and silently, and padded over the carpeted apartment with bare feet towards the couch, the cameras, his strawberry cake and the police chief. But most importantly, his strawberry cake. Oh, and the cameras that were in the Yagami household too, the detective guessed.

Of course – the Kira case. It was important. Yes, it was. But…more important than his strawberry cake…? Hmm, L would have to try and set his priorities straight.

Sitting down on the couch, he unfolded the blanket and slowly placed it over the dozing police officer, then turned back towards the cameras. Placing his thumb against his mouth, his teeth immediately latched onto some skin there and began chewing slowly, so the skin wouldn't rip. He simply hated when that happened, especially when he could taste the metallic in his blood. Dreadful it was, really.

Not that the blood stopped him from chewing the skin there, of course.

His eyes absorbed all of the cameras all at once. Soichiro Yagami's wife, Sachiko Yagami was sleeping soundly in bed, as was their youngest daughter, Sayu Yagami. He noticed then, with slight panic, that their eldest daughter, Raito Yagami, wasn't in her bed. Immediately his eyes began scanning all of the monitor's trying to see exactly where the girl was.

Glancing towards the clock in the apartment, he noticed that it was almost five o'clock. Wasn't this the usual time Raito Yagami awoke? Yes – she would wake up, grab a change of clothes, head out of her room and towards…

…the bathroom…to take a shower.

L rubbed a hand through his hair at that, still keeping his teeth clenched around the skin on his thumb. Suddenly, he felt that nervousness that always poked up out of him when Raito Yagami went to the bathroom.

Actually, it always came up when she changed in her room as well.

Though the signs were there, and it was obvious as to why he felt so…nervous, L merely pushed the thought and the feeling away. No – there was no need to make such a big deal out of this. There might be no other way to categorize the feeling – for whenever he had to monitor other women before, he had no qualms over them changing or going to the bathroom to use the facilities offered there – but this did not mean that he had to categorize the feeling at all. He could simply…ignore it.

And so, he calmed himself down, and watched with as little interest as he could force himself to feel. In fact, he was trying so hard to keep any feeling other than disinterest show that his toes curled tightly, practically clinging to the couch underneath him. His teeth unconsciously bit harder into the soft skin of his thumb, and the skin immediately ripped open slightly, and blood began to flow. Yet, L was unable to even taste the horrible metallic taste of blood at all, trying his hardest to concentrate on his indifferent feelings.

He saw her stripping out of her clothes, but did his best to keep his disinterest there. Unlike before, there was no nervous, no rapid beating of his heart and no reddening of the cheeks.

L like he could do this – no. He knew that he could do this, that he could keep it up.

But, when Raito Yagami began discarding her undergarments, as some people say – "the jig was up."

His cheeks immediately reddened, his heart thudded loudly and erratically in his heart, and his indifferent façade cracked. Nervousness and lust and something warm clouded over him, and he had to turn away, not sure what he might do if he didn't.

Though his ears were still in perfect working condition, so they managed to pick up the sound of the water pelting down onto the tub. Raito Yagami was ready to go inside to take a shower.

His other thumb was then pressed against his mouth, and his teeth clenched down instantly onto the roughened skin there, his other hand – the one with the bleeding thumb – now clenching the rough material of his loose blue jeans. L closed his eyes, and didn't care if Raito Yagami was doing anything suspicious at the moment. What he was currently concentration on was not to look at the cameras in front of him…a few cameras that were placed in the bathroom, in particular.

L thought about what might happen if Soichiro Yagami were to wake up, see his eldest daughter in the shower and the detective who was simply meant to catch the mass murderer Kira looking away, blushing like a school girl, and this immediately caused the reddened cheeks to disappear, and his heart beat to calm down. Although the feelings from before continued to flow through him – he was unable to stop those feelings at all, even for one measly second.

The reddened skin on his thumb then ripped open as well, and a few droplets of blood slid against his tongue. He sighed loudly at this, shaking his head, but did not retract his teeth from his thumb. What was done was done.

Now, the detective just hoped that the eldest Yagami daughter would kindly get out of the shower and let him get back to solving his case in peace.

Yet a small part of him wished to turn back, to look at –

No. Then he would be a pervert for sure.

Pervert…? L thought to himself, scrunching his eyebrows at that. Would I truly be declared a…pervert…because of this? Surely not. But still he thought about it. No…no, this would, in fact, label me as such. I simply placed cameras in the bathrooms for the Kira case only – not so I could watch young women bathe. Especially women that were only seventeen years old, not even of legal age – that would be preposterous. No, I mustn't turn back, especially if there is this…urge inside of me to do so. That would be wrong, and would be betraying police chief Yagami's trust in me.

After all, contrary to popular belief, L wasn't a cold-hearted man. But he also wasn't one who would betray one's trust for no particular reason whatsoever.

He didn't work that way, and he wouldn't allow a young woman like Raito Yagami to force him to stoop so low, either.

L tried to keep this in mind for the rest of the time – and actually succeeded.

Although, there was no need to say much about the fact that, perhaps, every once in a while, L might've snuck a look at the cameras. You know…just to see if Raito-kun had left the shower.

Of course that was the only reason he did so.


After two hours – meaning, at seven o'clock, police Chief Soichiro Yagami yawned and stretched, waking up. His back was burning, for he had been sleeping awkwardly on the couch, but he didn't complain aloud about it. Swinging his head over, his eyes met those of Ryuzaki's, and he nodded stiffly at the detective. Ryuzaki just blinked back.

"Good morning, Yagami-san." Ryuzaki spoke in that low monotone voice of his.

"Good morning, Ryuzaki." Soichiro begrudgingly replied back to him, then finally felt something heavy draped across the backs of his shoulder blades. Squinting in confusion, he lifted both hands and placed them on his shoulders, then fingered the silky material. A blanket. "Ryuzaki, did you put this –" Ryuzaki cut him off then, dropping sugar cubes in his tea one by one, first lifting them up to his right eye and staring at them as if to check if they were poisoned.

"Yes, Yagami-san, it was I who put that blanket over your shoulders. Did you not appreciate this gesture?" The question seemed like it would've been said out of hurt or offense, but Ryuzaki asked the question blandly, as if he was disinterested, and Soichiro wouldn't be surprised if this turned out to be the case.

Clearing his throat, the older man decided to reply. "No, of course not, Ryuzaki. I…appreciate the gesture."

Ryuzaki nodded slowly at this, closely examining another sugar cube, and then dropped it. "Good – then I shall make sure to provide a blanket for you every time you slumber next time."

Soichiro furrowed his eyebrows. Was he trying to say that he wasn't cut out to stay awake with him and monitor his family along with him…? "Ryuzaki, there's truly no –" Ryuzaki cut him off once more.

"That is quite alright, Yagami-san. I do not mind." The young detective said then, and began stirring his tea with a silver spoon that was right next to his cup of tea. He held it with an index finger, his middle finger, and his thumb, the spoon clinking loudly.

Silence fell over the two of them then. Soichiro stripped off the blanket, and placed it over the couch arm.

"So…did you find anything interesting last night after I fell asleep?" He asked him, trying to sound casual about it. Truly, he wasn't – he was always so…restless if he couldn't monitor his house with L, not wanting the unthinkable to be true – that someone from his family could be Kira. Soichiro was positive that none of them could be Kira, but, still, he was restless.

Ryuzaki paused momentarily, even pausing stirring his tea. Soichiro's eyes widened. "What – did…did…something happen, Ryuzaki? Did you – did something suspicious happen?" He asked quickly, leaning a bit towards the detective.

As cool as a cucumber, the detective then began stirring his tea again. "Of course, Yagami-san. If something had happened, then I would immediately have told you of it – there would've been no need for small talk." Though Ryuzaki had said too quickly for his liking, Soichiro decided to believe him, and leaned back again the couch, relieved.

Because of this, he managed to miss Ryuzaki's reddening cheeks.


Silent Knight: So, I'm not exactly sure how this fic was, so let me know your thoughts about it. It would help me see if I should write any more DN fics with Ryuzaki/L. =)

A couple of days - perhaps even tomorrow - I'm going to be posting a Near/Dove fic. You know, Dove, the girl L was talking about? Yeah - the two of them. Hopefully they'll be portrayed exactly the way I want their relationship to be like. I'm not too good with romance - at least, I don't think so - because of the fact that, well...I'm rather uneducated. I've never had a boyfriend. *blushes* I know - sucky, right? The only stuff I know about romance is all from the countless stories I read.

Anywho, hope you enjoyed this story of mine!

Silent Knight over and out!