Fading Away
Summary: Angel and Spike's conversation and thoughts after the battle in alley in Not Fade Away.
Pairing: Spangel
Rating: PG – coarse language, sexual references
"Angel goddammit!" Spike shouted as the screams became too much for his ears.
"Spike!' Angel shouted back. Suddenly the alley went quiet. All the screaming demons froze, and fell to the ground in heaps. Angel leant up against a wall and relaxed, allowing himself to slide down to the ground. Spike hobbled over, a stake sticking out of his side.
Bloody hell. Spike thought. What the hell is going on here? How could we have survived? Me and Angel, still alive, after all this time? How is it possible?
"Spike…" Angel wheezed, and Spike rushed to his side. "Why are we still alive?"
'I don't bloody know!" Spike felt like laughing. "But whoever made these guys just fall over and die, kudos to them." He pulled the stake out of his side, and groaning in pain he sat down next to Angel against the stone cold wall in the alley.
How can this be possible? How can this be possible? We must be dead, in Hell or Heaven or anywhere else but here. Angel kept telling himself as he stared across the alley to where Gunn lay against a dumpster.
"Gunn." He whispered, trying to get up. He wandered over to Gunn and knelt by his side. Spike got up and followed him over, staying silent.
Bloody hell Charlie, why did it have to be you? He asked himself. Why couldn't it be me?
"Angel – I…" Spike began, attracting the attention of his grand-sire.
"What?" Angel asked, getting up. Spike stood by his side. "What do you want Spike?"
"I think we should go."
"Go? Go where? There's nowhere left to go – we don't know anyone we can go to, or anywhere."
"There's Buffy." Spike suggested. No, I could never do that to her. She thinks I'm dead! After a grand exit like that it would be just rude to come back, all high and mighty and corporeal again. God, why did this happen?
"No way Spike, we're not putting this on Buffy. Not now." Angel declared. "She's done enough with both of us, and she deserves to live a normal life – or as normal as the life of a Slayer can be. She's earned that much at least."
Spike agreed. Oh God… yes. She deserves so much more that we can never give.
Angel grabbed Gunn, wrapped his arms around his own shoulders and dragged the body out of the alley. Spike followed like an obedient puppy.
"We'll bury him before sunrise, then figure out what to do." Angel said. Spike looked back to see Illyria standing against the door to an old warehouse.
"Illyria?" he called out. She didn't move. Spike ran back down the alley, leaving Angel to stand watching as he supported Gunn's limp body. When Spike reached Illyria, he could see why she was standing but not answering. She was skewered to a wooden door, dead.
"Hurry up Spike, we've only got a few hours left before sunrise!" Angel yelled from the street.
"She's dead!" Spike yelled back. Blue, you fought well. He thought to himself. But still, why couldn't it be me?
"Bring her, hurry up!" Angel disappeared, and Spike pulled Illyria from the door and followed. He stopped when he reached the street, and turned back to look into the alley.
The final battle of our lives took place here. We should have died – we should be gone. Why are we still here?
"Spike!" Angel yelled suddenly. Spike looked down the street, just as Angel shimmered away. Gunn now lay on the pavement, his body lifeless. Spike looked down at his hand as he felt himself fading away.
Author's Note: Hope you liked my fan.fic and I hope you understand what happened. I don't really know what I wanted to come of this, but I've already written another fan.fic for NFA that I think was better than this one (and was much longer too) so I hope people can understand that I think things can happen differently if they are given a second chance.