Lindsay Can't Hate Dean Anymore, a gilmore girls fanfic

An empty room can be so deafening, the silence makes you want to scream; it drives you crazy.

Lindsay Lister stood in the center of what had been her apartment with her husband. The room was barren, the stark walls mocking her.

I chased away the shadows of your name, and burned the picture in a frame, but it couldn't save me.

Lindsay had cried herself to sleep so many times she had lost count. She had taken one of the hundreds of snapshots from their wedding and burned it, but it hadn't made her feel any better.

And how could we quit something we never even tried? Well, you still can't tell me why.

Dean couldn't explain why. Why he had decided that their marriage wasn't important. Why he had decided to cheat on her with Rory. Lindsay had only been married for a few months, and now that dream had been shattered.

We built it up, to watch it fall, like we meant nothing at all. I gave and gave the best of me, but couldn't give you what you need. You walked away, you stole my life, just to find what you're looking for, but no matter how I try, I can't hate you anymore.

Lindsay had gone to see a marriage counselor in Woodbridge. She was a Christian, and recommended to Lindsay that divorce was an option, but maybe not the best one. Through meeting with her counselor, whom Dean refused to see, Lindsay had decided on divorce, and had learned to let go of the hatred embedded in her heart.

You're not the person who you used to be, the one I want who wanted me...

Dean had changed from being around Rory. He was not the man she had married. He was simply a stupid guy who had used her to make Rory jealous. She was a substitute wife.

That's a shame but, there's only so many tears that you can cry, before it drains the light right from your eyes, and I can't go on that way.

Lindsay had run out of tears to cry. She simply could not produce a single drop.

And so I'm letting of everything we were...

It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

Lindsay still felt the crushing pressure of everyone in town watching her every move, and she still felt sick every night when she went to sleep in her twin bed at her parents' house, the one she had slept in from age five until she got married at nineteen.

Sometimes you hold so tight, it slips right through your hands. Will I ever understand?

Lindsay wondered if she would ever understand Dean's motives. She shook her head. Probably not. She had hung on so tightly, and then she had gotten tired of hanging on. It had been taxing on her body, soul, and spirit. She'd had to let him slip through her fingers.

I wrote this story to convey Lindsay's view of her divorce. The show presents a skewed viewpoint, because viewers and Dean lovers in particular are seeing Rory's slanted opinion. I just wanted to write a story that showed how Lindsay felt because someone stole her husband.