The Adventures of Unlucky England and His Phone

by Kawaii Seishin

Formerly known as Drunk Dialing, The Adv. of Unlucky England and his Phone are 5 adventures of England and his Phone. For now, I'm completing it b/c i haven't got many hits, but I'll continue if someone asks. Implied Gema/N.Italy

1. France and Drunk Dials

Disclaimer: I- -D-O-N-'-T- -O-W-N- -H-E-T-A-L-I-A- -o-r- J-e-l-l-o-.-.-.-N-o-r- -w-o-u-l-d- -I-w-an-t- -t-o-.

*Ring Ring*

"Damn it...*picks up phone*...Hello?"

"Hello England! *Hiccup* Hello Hello Hello Hello...Jell-O! Ha ha ha *Hiccup*"

"Excuse me? Are you drunk?"

"Um...*Hiccup* Does three bottles of beer count?"

"In the name of the queen, I demand to know who I am speaking with?"

"I know what you are but what am I? *Hiccup Hiccup*"

"America, is that you?"

"NOOOO GUESS AGAIN!"

"I do not want to guess again, you git."

"Wow...you hurt my feelings. *Sniffles Hiccup*"

"Just tell me who this is!"

"*Hiccup*If I do...will lemon with me?"

"Fine. (What the hell is a lemon?)"

"Okay...*Hiccup*..I am..."

"Yes?"

"ME! Mwahahaha *Hiccup*!"

"*Growls* You bastard! That doesn't count!"

"Yeah it does."

"No, it doesn't."

"Yeah *Hiccup* it does."

"No it doesn't."

"Yeah *Hiccup* because I am me. Now, you *Hiccup* owe me a lemon."

"What exactly is a...lemon?"

"Hmm...I think that we can do it over the phone, can't we? *Hiccup*"

"Please answer my question."

"Let's see...you start."

"Wh-what? I don't understand you. Please tell me what a lemon is."

"Fine *Hiccup*, I'll start. *Slobbery noise on line*"

"What are you doing fool?"

"I'm making out with the phone silly *Hiccup* and pretending it's your face *Continues slobbery noise*"

"What the-"

"You're turn! *Hiccup*"

"No! Why on earth would I do that?"

"Cause *Hiccup* it's a lemon!"

"A lemon is fruit! Not a sex scene!"

"*Hiccup* Actually, yeah it is. *Hiccup* Now it's your turn!"

"God no!"

"Fine...I'll *Hiccup* continue. *Moaning sensually in background*"

"Damn it...I didn't know you, I would of assumed it was France...HOLY **** ON A STICK YOU'RE FRANCE?"

"Um...*Hiccup*...I'm sexually active, find guys as well as girls attractive, *hiccup*, drink a hell of a lot *hiccup* of wine...so I guess I'm France. *Hiccup* Let's continue our lemon. *Resumes moaning*"

"Goodbye France,"

"Don't leave me *Hiccup* I love you England! *Someone snickers in the background*"

"Who's there?"

"Me!"

"No...that person who just laughed at us!"

"Oh him? *Hiccup* That's America. He told me to say that."

"*Growls* He did, did he?"

"Yup *Hiccup* He also said to freak you out. Oh *Hiccup* and drink this wine...but I *Hiccup* was gonna do that anyways."

"Well tell America that England's gonna get him back; hard."

*Hangs up phone*

"But how?"