AN: So, here's my next story. This one's longer. Hope you like it and review. And a shout out to Toddian who's been a kick ass beta.

Disclaimer: I own nothing at all, but as soon as I get the rights to One Tree Hill you guys will be the first to know.

Which To Bury: Us Or The Hatchet?

Friendship, Charm & Change
December 19th

-oo-

William Somerset Maugham once wrote: "It's no good trying to keep up old friendships. It's painful for both sides. The fact is, one grows out of people, and the only thing is to face it."

Once upon a time I would've found that thought so cynic and negative and untrue. But then again, here I am, coming home about to face the people who I once called family.

My so-called best friends and I haven't spoken to half of them in the three years I've been gone.

Why Hales insisted on a big Christmas dinner is still beyond me. She claimed that it'd been too long and we needed to mend our relationships before it was too late to do it. That was a pretty solid argument, but that's not what sold me on this dinner.

Nope, it was Jamie. Of course I've kept in touch with him. He's still my number one boyfriend and Hales brings him to LA every once in a while. Nonetheless, when he begged me to be his Christmas gift I couldn't say no.

Then to add to that, she gave the phone to Robbie, who was learning to talk in full sentences. Now, he knew how to say: 'come visit me, Aunt Brooke'.

"Brooklyn," Calls Sam, busting me out of my thoughts. She calls me this purely to annoy me.

"My name's not Brooklyn, Samantha." I reply with a glare. You'd think after four years we'd be more pleasant to one another, but no. Our relationship is still 90 percent bickering, 10 percent niceness.

"Whatever, Haley's on the phone." She replies as she tosses it.

I take a deep breath before speaking, "Hey Hales, what's up?"

"Just making sure you're still coming and not backing out." I can feel her maternal glare over the phone.

"No, mom, we're still going. Julian is packing as we speak." I assure her.

"Good, Jamie's been crossing days off his calendar, and he misses Julian and Sam. He also claims he wants to get his Guitar Hero re-match. Plus, Robbie keeps asking for you."

"I already said I'd go and so did Sam and Julian. No need to keep on guilt tripping us into it." Jamie, and now Robbie, can make me do anything. They can make Julian and Sam do anything, too; they just refuse to admit it.

"Well, I'm going to let you go back to getting everything ready, and Nate will pick you up tomorrow." Nathan. I haven't seen him in a while. He never approved of me leaving Tree Hill. Which, I'm guessing, is why he doesn't visit.

"Okay, I'll see you then."

This is a bad idea. I get the whole 'we need to get over ourselves' speech Haley gave me, but Christmas is so not the time to do that. Christmas should be candy canes and fresh cookies and mistletoe.

"Hey Dimples," I smile at hearing his voice. It's a natural reaction.

"You nervous?" His arms around me immediately put me at ease. He calms me down so easily, and he doesn't even realize that he does it.

Before I answer his question he starts kissing my neck, "It'll be fine. It's dinner. I'll be your wingman." He assures me in between kisses.

"How can you be so calm?" I squeal, "Everyone's going to be there."

"Exactly, that means Jamie and Robbie will be there. It's been a few months since their last visit, and I believe I owe mini J a Guitar Hero rematch. I also promised Robbie that I'd play Wii with him." He knows all the right things to say. I love that he remembers what he does with Jamie and that he cares about keeping his promises to Robbie.

"Haley, Mouth, Millie, and Nathan will be there, too. I know you miss them and seeing them will be good." Huh, he did his homework… Knows the guest list better than me.

"Plus, it's Christmas and I'm me and as long as I'm there it'll all be okay." Ah, there it is: That Julian Baker charm that makes anything sound good. It plays a big part in the way he appeases me.

"I packed. I made sure Sam packed, like, really packed. Not just say she packed so that in the morning you can run around frantically throwing her clothes in a duffel bag. We're all set to go." He assures me. He knows Sam and me well.

I giggle before turning to face him, "See, I knew there was a reason I kept you around."

"Yeah, well, I'm useful like that."

Even in the midst of the drama I'm sure is about to fall on us, he can still make me smile. He's the guy I can see myself growing old with, the one that sticks, and I love him for that.

-oo-

Albert Camus once wrote: "Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question."

I'm a charming guy. I can also be an ass. It's a complicated skill I've honed for years now. If you'd asked me four years ago if I ever pictured this as my life, I would've said no in a heartbeat. I was so not that guy and then suddenly I am…

I'm engaged to the hottest girl on the planet, and I'm the proud parent of an annoying teenager. As an added bonus I got Haley, Nathan, Jamie and Robbie as a family too, if only for a while. It was all good while it lasted and bad when it fell apart.

I promised Brooke I'd always have her back and when she decided it would be better for us to get away, I followed. I would've done anything for her. I still would and I still do.

She's the girl you can follow to the end of the world without ever turning to look back. Nonetheless, I can't say she never looked back, because she did. I did, too. As much as I hated Tree Hill in the beginning, I grew kind of fond of it. Not that I'd ever say that out loud though.

I also can't say that I have any regrets. I'm happy now. Everything that went down between Lucas, Peyton, Brooke and I all those years ago seems trivial to me. Then again, they weren't a part of my life in the same way they were Brooke's.

Brooke comes out of the bathroom and throws me a pillow, "Baker, make some room. You're such a bed hog." There's that smile again.

I smile back before rolling over so she can have her half, and by half I mean her three quarters of the bed because if anyone's a bed hog it's her.

"I'm cold." She says pouting like a little girl.

I pull up the covers and snuggle up to her. This has become a routine for us since we started dating. "Better?"

"Much," she informs me as she clutches my hand, "Promise you'll have my back in Tree Hill?" she asks.

I try not to laugh and just kiss her cheek, "I have your back anytime, anywhere."

"I know. I just like to hear you say it."

"And I like to say it." I like to say and do whatever it takes to make her happy, because when she smiles the world fades, if only for a second.

"This is why we're perfect for each other." She says as she turns to face me.

"Because you like to hear what I say and I like to say what you like to hear?" and as I say this, I know it makes no sense.

"No…well yeah, but not just that. Because you get me, you get my rambles and you love my godsons and my friends." She ran her hand along my face, the soft flesh bringing for an unknown heat. "And you have an unnatural way of calming me and you don't even realize when you're doing it. And because…"

"…Because the Priss and the Stoner end up together?" I ask with a mischievous grin.

She gives me a similar grin and practically pins me to the bed as she straddles me, "That, too," she replies before kissing me. Man, I do love Brooke Davis.

-oo-

Chris Levinson once wrote: "We can move on without moving away from each other."

I'm crazy. Everyone has been telling me that lately. Nobody gets why I want to plan this. Why I want to get everyone together again. Nathan seems to be sure that I'm just going to stir up trouble. I practically had to beg Lucas and Peyton to come, and I had to emotionally blackmail Brooke. I still haven't heard from Rachel, and Jake is seriously on the fence about coming.

The only one who seems to get it is Jamie. But even so, he just misses the time when we all hung out together. I miss that too, but this is about more than that.

I'm not naïve. I don't expect we'll all just sit at a table and things will be all right again, but it's a step. The only one we've taken in nearly four years.

"Not too late to back out, Hales." Says Nathan as he enters the kitchen.

"Nate come on, you promised you'd be supportive." I can't get through this without my wingman. I know he misses his relationship with Brooke and Lucas and everyone else.

"I know, I know, but I just…I can't help to think we're opening up a can of worms here. I mean, maybe we're just pushing our luck with this dinner." He states as he takes a seat next to me.

"Hey, I know you're upset about the way things went down. I am right there with you. Lucas and Peyton shouldn't have grown secluded in their LA-LA land turned bad. Brooke and Julian shouldn't have just up and left." We all should've just talked to each other, but that's not the point now.

"I'm over that. I'm not upset." I can feel him tighten and his voice got harsher.

"Yeah, you are. I know you. That's why you and Lucas don't talk. Why you avoid Brooke when she calls or pretend to be busy when I head to LA. It's also why you cut everyone else out. You talk to Peyton every once in a while, but that's it."

"I didn't cut anyone out!" he says standing up, "We got cut out, Hales. Brooke left. After what happened and the wedding, Lucas alienated us. They've hardly seen Robbie since he was born and they've skipped Jamie's birthdays. We are what's left Haley. Maybe, you just need to come to terms with that."

Maybe I do. Maybe it's what I should do, but I can't. Lucas used to be my brother, and Brooke used to practically live here. We all used to be so in sync, and I can't give up on that. I'm not ready to give up on that. We are all mad over stupid shit, and we need to let it go and move forward. Honestly, we might as well be arguing over who should've won prom queen…

"Nate…" is all I manage to whisper as I rub his shoulder in a sad attempt to comfort him.

"I'm going to go wake Robbie up. It's time for lunch and I'm sure Jamie's pretty hungry too." He says standing up and heading upstairs.

-oo-

Chris Levinson once wrote: "Maybe not all friendships need to be saved. Maybe we're meant to just spend a certain part of our lives with certain people and then move on."

When things go wrong, there's a window of time to try and make them right again. We've clearly missed ours. This thing that Haley's trying to do, it's nice, but it's too late. We made our choices and, just like High School, we all divvied ourselves up into sides.

Haley is a little bit right. I'm not exactly over the things that went down. But more than that, I'm disappointed. I expected more out of everyone. We were supposed to be grown ups. They should've faced things instead of running away.

I mean, at least Brooke tried to keep in touch. She calls and pays for Haley, Robbie and Jamie to visit even when Hales insists she can pay for herself. She even volunteers to pay for me, but I don't want to go visit LA Brooke. I don't want to encourage her running away. The point is she made an effort to not exclude us from her life.

Lucas on the other hand didn't even go to the hospital when Robbie was born. He doesn't call and he ignores Haley's calls.

Ugh, I just hate that this is what we've been reduced to.

"Hey Daddy," calls Jamie.

"Jimmy Jam, I was just about to get you and Robbie. It's almost lunchtime." I explain as I pick him up.

"Aunt Brooke, Uncle J, and Sam get here tomorrow!" he squeals excitedly.

Yeah, they do. But I got a feeling we're going to need a referee at dinner and that the kids will have to eat in a different room. But yeah, everyone's coming home. Hurray…

"I know bud, I'm picking them up." I don't want to ruin this for him. He misses having his family together.

"Can I come?" he gives me the pout. I'm powerless to the pout. Brooke taught him well.

I roll my eyes and let out a sigh before answering him, "Sure, now go wash up before you eat."

-oo-

William Somerset Maugham once wrote: "We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person."

Everything has changed. I used to be so sure of my life. Three years ago, things seemed so clear and then everything spiraled out of my grasp. I have to wonder when it was that everything changed.

"Haley left another message." She always leaves messages. I always neglect to call.

"We're going to this, right?" I can tell she wants to go. She's been trying to get things back to normal for three years.

"I said I'd go if you want to go. Do you still want to go?" I can't help a certain amount of disdain in my voice when I ask.

She can feel it, "Yeah, Luke, I do. I miss Haley and I miss Nate and…we've been doing this for three years, and it's clearly not working. So, maybe it would be better to face everyone."

I loved Peyton Sawyer. Loved? Love? Who can tell anymore? Most days I feel like I stopped knowing her a long time ago.

She's now Peyton Sawyer-Scott. I saw our whole future lives together. And then along came Julian and the movie and it was all downhill from there.

Then again, I can't really pin it all on him. We've all changed and we're all to blame, some more than others.

"I already left Haley a message saying we'll be there." I reply without turning to look at her.

"Luke, are we ever going to be good again?" she doesn't sound mad or sad or disappointed. Her tone betrays no emotion, so I can't tell what she's feeling. Truth is I don't know if we'll ever be good again. By that I mean everyone. Brooke, Haley, Nathan, I cut them all out stupidly for stuff that wasn't their fault, and now here we are.

"We are fine, Peyton." I reply as I scroll through the contacts in my cell phone. "Tomorrow's going to be fine, too."

"You need to let me off the mat at some point, Luke. I'm your wife. It's been three years." She says with that emotionless voice again. I assure her once more that we are fine in a monotone voice.

I can hear her mutter a 'whatever' before she goes to bed. I hardly sleep anymore. I swear I'm running on the occasional cheap beer and caffeine.

Truth is: Nothing's fine. Nothing's the same. And I can't bring myself to pretend for her that everything's okay.

-oo-

Paul Tournier once wrote: "Nothing makes us as lonely as our secrets."

If I were looking at this from the outside, I'd probably say that I dug my own grave in this situation. But when you see it from the inside, it's different. It's not about what I did or what Brooke, Julian, Nathan, and Haley did or anything else for that matter. It was about a whole lot of shit hitting the fan at the exact wrong time.

We all ran away in our own styles. Brooke literally took off with Julian and Sam. Jake returned to Savannah. Luke and I just buried ourselves in this relationship.

While I can say I've lived most of my life under a huge banner of avoidance, this is different. I might've lost touch with everyone, but I dealt. I assumed responsibility for my mistakes and, if nothing else, that should be acknowledged.

But nothing's the same. Lucas doesn't look at me in the same way. Neither does Brooke, though technically,she doesn't look at me at all. I call Nate, like, once a month, but that's it. I haven't even called Jake since he left...

I gotta wonder how we all ended up this way. I feel responsible for things that aren't my fault. My problems with Lucas are my fault, but the rift that came between and him and Brooke and everyone else is on him. At some point he needs to stop using me as his scapegoat.

Tournier was right, our secrets make us lonely. Mine managed to leave me all alone. Lucas might be next to me, but he isn't here. If I had just gone to him, maybe things would've been different for all of us. Maybe we wouldn't be so freaked about a normal Christmas dinner.

I know as soon as I pick up the phone that I should hang up. I feel a little bit guiltier with every ring that passes. I'm about to hang up when I hear his voice on the other line, "…Jake,"

"Peyton?" yeah, this call is definitely a mistake.

TBC