Love + Hate = Forever

This time we'll try to change the things we learned and grown to hate - Georgia Fair

Illegal bonfires. My friends are such a good influence on me. Of course somebody had to be the good one. Me. Typical. I was the one teacher's loved, but not as a teacher's pet. No thanks. Parents approved of me as their children's friend. I was the one to ask permission. I talked for us, because unlike some people I knew, I was able to contain my feelings in front of adults. Let's just say I would make a brilliant actress.

It was most definitely not because I was good natured, kind, loving, all that shit.

"You, nice?" Jadlyn guffawed and turned to Matt, walking away from her mum with a satisfactory smile. Poor Mrs Shires had no idea her daughter had a plan of committing a crime and she had no idea that I was the total opposite of nice. "Can you imagine an innocent, shy Jamie Tyler?"

"No," he smirked, pulling his hood over his hat, again. He thought he was so cool.

"If you dare say I'm nice I'll karate chop your head off," I threatened jokingly and pulled Matt's hood down, again.

"Hey," he put his hands up as if to surrender, "I didn't say you were nice so please let me wear my hood."

"You'd look like a stalker if we weren't here," Evee teased. "Cap, hood, sunnies, head permanently down. Loser."

"Freak."

"Super freak."

"Weirdo."

"Guys!" I faked a whine and pulled Matt's hood up again, to his surprise. I smiled, pulling my own hood over my head and slid on my white sunnies. "Stalkers," I said in a creepy voice.

Jadlyn laughed and put her sunnies on along with her hat.

"What am I?" Evee asked, shrugging at her shirt and shorts, in lack of a hood, glasses, and a hat, "The normal one?"

"No, you're the weird one," Matt laughed and handed her his cap, "but don't worry, you're a stalker too now."

"Wait," Jade stopped mid step, "who exactly are we stalking?"

"Josh," I grinned evilly and ran towards beach full speed. "Race you!"

Only Matt had the slightest chance of beating me, but I had a head start, so I guess he didn't. I made it to state in 400 meter sprint, but nationals was a bit of a stretch.

Jade and Evee had stopped halfway, but Matt was not one to give up.

"Almost," I laughed, indicating to him with my fingers how much he'd lost by. "Aw, sorry Matt."

He punched me playfully when he reached the sand and smiled, "Hey, at least I don't boast about how good I look!"

"What do you call that? Not boasting?" I exclaimed before the working Josh waved at us. I waved back and glanced at the walking Jade and Evee.

"Beat by a girl," Evee teased and headed over to Josh.

"She had a head start!" he called out to her before she laughed and gave Josh a PDA.

"Just admit it Matt Cat," Jade nudged him and started stripping off her clothes, revealing her tan sleek body with her skimpy white bikini. "She beat you fair and square."

"I got a head start," I shrugged and pulled my jumper off.

Matt laughed, and then he suddenly stopped, "Wait, were you just nice?"

"Oh my god, Jamie was nice!" Jade squealed.

"Shut up," I kicked Matt for pointing it out.

We headed into the water, making the best of the last few days of holidays. Our last year to be together was coming too soon.

"I'm still not sure about the bonfire guys," I admitted as they began piling the wood up. "It's Saturday night and we are actually pretty close to the road. There's police everywhere."

"Hey Jamie," Matt put his hand reassuringly, "it's a small, harmless bonfire on the beach, near no trees, nothing flammable. Just chillax."

"Chillax?" I scoffed as I handed him a fat piece of wood, "I can't chillax!"

"Breathe!" Jade called from the other side of the fire. "You're overreacting!"

I laughed, but the gut feeling of guilt would never go away.

More and more people came, oblivious about the danger we could get in from just a bonfire. Music blasted loudly from somebody's iPod speakers. The feeling started to fade away. It was a dark Saturday night, and the Brighton Beach was blasting music and flickering fire flames, yeah, not suspicious at all.

"Come on dance!" Jade yelled over the music and brought over the punch. Who was smart enough to bring punch?

"POLICE!" somebody screamed and made a run for it.

Panic. I was right, but I was too scared to think about that.

Water, buckets I had made Matt fill with me just in case. I never thought we'd actually need it.

In the distant, the red and blue police sirens were blaring, headed straight for the beach.

"Matt!" I screamed, "Water! Get rid of the fire!"

Already the water was being poured out on the fire. The police car had stopped.

"Jamie," a hand grabbed me tightly, pulling me away from the fire. I threw the last bucket at the flickering flame and ran for it. We hid in the cave, peeking around to see flashlights beaming at the dead bonfire.

"At least they put it out," one of the two said and nodded approvingly. "Did no harm."

"Yeah because we came along," the other one snarled, "imagine what they would've burnt down. Stupid teenagers."

I heard someone mutter something unintelligent.

"Chill Francis," Jade hissed.

"Here take the speakers and the iPod," the second one said, smirking.

"That fucking bastard," Keenan growled, getting up.

"Get him down!" I told Josh, who was already pushing him against the cave wall, making sure he didn't try to get his stuff back.

"That cost a shit load," Keenan snapped. "Somebody's gonna pay me back."

"Nobody asked you to bring it," I glared at him, "so shut it Crawley."

Everyone else was silent. They didn't want to admit I was right, but I wasn't going to say anything about it. Nobody would know it was us. It could've been anyone, and it's not like we did anything that bad anyway. Even if they found us, everyone would be depending on me to lie my way through it. I already had a plan at the back of my head.

"They're gone," Matt informed and beckoned us to come out.

We all hurried out and split into groups. Jade was shivering without the burning warmth of the bonfire. I tugged Matt and pointed at her. He nodded and tossed her his jacket.

"You need something?" he asked, but I shook my head, even though I was undeniably cold. Matt needed his warmth too, but instead he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and held me tight. I breathed in his aftershave, refreshing.

We were never anything, and never going to be anything. Maybe when we were preteens, we confused friendship for something else.

"That was close," I murmured as we walked along the beach to the car.

Jade walked on the other side of Matt and he rested his other arm around her. Evee and Josh continued to be the perfect cute couple they were, walking behind us.

"You were right Jamie," Matt admitted, "sorry."

"Sorry too," Jade echoed from his other side.

"Sorry three and four!" Josh called from behind, speaking for Evee too.

I laughed wryly, "There's nothing to be sorry about, except that they came. Nobody knew."

"You did," Matt reminded.

"Well, you know me," I shrugged, "overreaction, and I just happened to be worried for the right reason this time, out of twenty billion other times."

"And over exaggeration too," he chuckled, "you make it sound like your friends force you to do illegal stuff everyday."

"Well maybe they do," I teased and looked up at him, seeing the full moon in the sky.

"Am I not your friend anymore?" Matt joked incredulously.

"Will you two hook up already?" Jadlyn muttered, before I could answer and pulled Matt's arm off her. "I think I'm gonna- no, never mind."

"Josh and Evee are out of bounds Jade," I warned her with a smile, "I don't want my friend to be scarred for eternity."

"Stay," Matt said, "but I'm not promising no hooking up."

"Matt," I swatted his stomach playfully.

"Jokes!" he chuckled, and then added for kicks, "But seriously."

"Okay, leaving!" Jade announced and put her hands up in surrender.

"We're kidding!" I assured her with a laugh. "Our relationship will strictly stay as a friendship. I think we've realized that we don't work a couple of years back."

"Aw, now that's not true," he objected, "we were twelve and thirteen."

"Wait Matt, are you suggesting something?" Jade raised her eyebrow and nudged me from behind so Matt couldn't see. I flinched and kicked her back.

"Yeah, I'm suggesting we hook up now to piss you off," he laughed and kissed me deeply. He was definitely better from five years back, but I didn't say anything.

"GROSS GUYS!" Jade shrieked and pushed us both away. "Great! Make me feel like such a loner!"

"Jade!" I laughed and pulled her back, slotting her between Matt and I. "Stop, you know we're joking right?"

"Yeah," she muttered glumly, "but it's still depressing."

"What is with you emo girl?" Matt teased as we finally reached the foot path.

"Don't you guys dare hook up or I will never speak to you again!" she warned with a pout. "I'm not a fifth wheel!"

"Chillax," I smiled, "never going to happen, right Matt?"

"Yep, never," he confirmed, but I couldn't be sure there wasn't anything else in his voice. I just hoped I wasn't hurting him. Maybe he still felt the same way after 5 years.

I waved my friends goodbye the next day after the movies, not knowing it would be the last time I would see them, ever, or for at least a while.

I keyed my car and headed for work.