Happy Goddamn Fourth Of July.
No, I don't like seeing the stupid fireworks and no, I don't like "spending time" with friends. It's a pointless Holiday. The only thing I'm seriously liking about this forsaken shit of a day, is that someone spiked the punch. Hey, don't get me wrong here. I'm just trying to "enjoy" myself. Cheers.
If you really want to know why I'm even outside, well that would be a completely different story. But I can sum it up in a few words. Or maybe not. Just shut up and listen. I was merely going about my day, doing the things that I, John Allerdyce, do. (What I do is not of your concern, just know I was doing it.) Then, as I'm getting ready to call it a day I get sabotaged. Yes, I know what you're already thinking. "But you're John! How could you let this happen! Use your fire!" Well, you try using your fire when a certain Kitten phases through you, takes your lighter and runs off. You try using your fire when a certain Life Sucker and her Icey Mice of a boyfriend blind fold you and shove you out of your room. Yes, you try using your fire then. Those three have it out for me. You know.....maybe they keep bothering me because they want to have sex with me. Wait.....never mind. Ignore that I just said that. Seriously, fucking ignore it.
Anyway, that's how I'm here. Outside of the Mansion, looking up at the shitty stars and waiting for the fireworks to start. Jubilee is taking so goddamn long. Why couldn't the Professor get real fireworks. Whatever, I just want my fucking lighter back. Kitty Pryde has my fucking lighter. Right now, I don't see Kitty Pryde. Maybe I'll sit here for a while longer until I finish this drink. I feel the buzz from it already.
Wait. There she is. That stupid little short brunette. Oh, she's right next to the punch bowl. Let's see how Pretty Kitty is going to like a bowl of punch all over her shirt. As I'm walking toward her I begin to notice she really isn't Kitty anymore. Well she is, but....oh god. The bitch is getting tipsy. She sees me and I stop. She's smiling at me. Gross.
On a side note here, let's get something straight. I don't like Kitty Pryde. I'd rather be away from the girl. But every time Icey Mice and his Death Touch do something to me, I always end up with the Kitten. Always. Like that one time, at the carnival. Or at the beach........so maybe I did end up liking her then. But not now I don't.*
Back to the story. She's smiling at me. She has my lighter in her hand, I see it. She's holding onto it tight, and I know what she's doing to do. She's going to run. That's right Kitty you should run.....wait. No. NO! Come back here, Kitty.
I'm chasing after her but it's hard for me. She keeps phasing through everything in sight, knowing that I can't do the same. Stupid Bitch. That's it. I'm not going to give a shit anymore. She phases through a chair, giggling. And I pick up that goddamn chair and throw it aside. She looks back. Yea, she knows she's going to get it.
She takes a sharp turn out into the lawn, phasing right through the fountain. Ok...I can't pick that up. She's on the other side of the fountain, laughing. Even though it's dark I can still see her red cheeks. I go to run, but she goes in the other direction. She wants to play that game, huh. What are we? Fucking 8 year olds?
Maybe it's the effects of the spiked punch, but suddenly I'm feeling happy. Shut up. A man can be happy sometimes. So fuck off.
I get distracted for a minute. Jubilee has started throwing up her glitter sparks in the air. Whoop De Do. Kitty is distracted. I think that girl has a short attention span. Slowly, I creep around the fountain. Fuck yea, James Bond. Except, I'm John Bond. Get it? No? Fuck off then. I'm on a mission. That girl has my lighter. I'm getting closer to her......closer.......closer..........fuck. She phased out of my grasp. No shit, right?
She takes a side step, but doesn't continue to run. She's looking up at the fire works. I should just take my fucking lighter and book it. Maybe push her on the grass. She's trouble this Kitty Pryde. Quickly, I grab onto her wrist and with my other hand I pry my lighter from her grasp. She doesn't even fight. That's no fun. I need her to be mad, angry. I want her to fight back.
Side note here. Yea, I'm so going to do what you think I'm going to do. I'm John Allerdyce. I make the goddamn rules here.
I grab Kitty by her stupid little collar and push my mouth on top of hers. She's fighting back now. I wrap my arms around her shoulders, to keep her still (duh), but she's taking it for something else. She relaxes in my arms and closes her eyes. And before I know it, the little Kitten is slipping me the goddamn tongue.
I'm not complaining.
She's kissing me, I'm kissing back. It would be rude of me not to. I'm just being a gentleman.
Maybe she thinks I'm being romantic because of all the fireworks going up in the air. But I'm really not. Honest to fucking God, I'm not. But she is a good kisser. She pushes her self up against me, and I can feel her boobs on my chest. I'm a man, ok. Us men like the boobs. If you don't like me calling them boobs, your problem not mine. I pull her close to me and I can feel her chest rising and dropping fast. She's getting way into this. But I have my lighter now......so that's it.
I pull away from her but I feel her small hands grab my arm. I told you that I didn't like Kitty Pryde. I still don't. But I can't say that I don't now. I let her pull me down to the ground and before I know, she's on top of me. Jeez, what did they put in those drinks?
Once, again. I'm not complaining.
Happy Goddamn Fourth Of July.
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A/N: * Refers to two one shots, written by KyroxIsxSmexy. She inspired me to write this. Go read them! They're awesome! Go Read!