Title: Deus ex machina
Author: kira Rating: adult (more like older teen)
Characters: Kagura, Inuyasha, Kagome, Sango, Miroku, Sesshomaru, and others
Genre, Canon/AU: Crack!fic, AU-ish
Word count: 599
Warnings: None except for a topless Kagura, a "naughty" pic of Sango, and some male ogling.
Author's note: Sorry about the lack of smut, but this one just wanted to be written this way. ^^; (This was written for LJ's IYhed comm)
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"Damn it!" Kagura swore as the top half of her kimono, including the under layers, exploded into little bits of shredded silk. "Not again!" she huffed. Closing her fan, she stood there glaring at some unseen enemy, her hands on her hips. "What are you looking at?!"
Inuyasha, feeling Kagome boring a hole in the back of his skull with her eyes, stammered, "No-nothing!"
"He may not be staring at anything, my dear Kagura, but I'm certainly enjoying the view," Miroku said just before Sango whacked him upside the head with her Hiraikotsu.
The hanyou shook his head at his friend and sniggered. Unfortunately, Kagome heard it and he was sent flying face first into the ground with a well hissed, "Sit, boy!"
"Men!" the three women exclaimed, before having a giggle fit.
Kagome sighed.
"What?!" Kagura asked.
"At least you're just topless; I've been totally naked on a couple of occasions."
"Yeah, me too," Sango added.
"So has my darling Aniki-chan and you don't hear me complaining!" a disembodied voice called out.
"Jakotsu! Shut up!" another disembodied voice called out. "Don't mind us, we're not scheduled to bother you for another couple of chapters," it added reassuringly.
"Oooh! Wait until you see Sui come up out of the water all soaking wet…" the first voice said before sighing.
"Let's go, Jakotsu!"
"But I want to stay here and stare at Inuyasha's arse!"
"You can do that later."
"Oh-kay…." the first voice grumbled, before brightening. "Bye, Inuyasha!"
"Oh good, they're gone…" Kagura said dryly. "But that still doesn't explain my exploding kimono top."
"Easy," a rich baritone said.
"Sesshomaru!" everyone cried.
The taiyoukai, having paused for dramatic effect which everyone ruined by saying his name, continued, "Fan service."
"Oh yeah!" Kagome said. "I forgot about that!"
"It's why everyone, this Sesshomaru included, has appeared in various stages of undress. Although why Takahashi-sama chose to have my scrawny little brother-"
"HEY!" Inuyasha interrupted.
Sesshomaru glared at him. "As this Sesshomaru was saying, everyone has done fan service except for the monk and Jaken. This Sesshomaru can understand Jaken, but the monk?"
"You haven't seen these!" Jakotsu's disembodied voice called out again as several comic books of various sizes fell from the sky.
"Ewww!" Inuyasha cried as he picked one up.
"Sorry about the drool! Anyway, enjoy!"
"Wow… I finally do get to get naked. Look, my darling-" Miroku started to say before Sango whacked him again.
"And what's with this?" The taijiya pointed to an open comic book that displayed her charms in an exaggerated way.
"That's some set of boobies, there. If I had a set like that, I'd proudly be showing them off too, "Kagura smirked.
"A convenient plot device," Sesshomaru deadpanned.
"You clever dog, you!" the wind witch said delightedly.
"A what?" The hanyou, puzzled, stared at his brother.
"It would take too long for this Sesshomaru to explain it to you, Inuyasha."
"Oh…"
"And now it's time for this Sesshomaru to employ another convenient plot device."
"That being a kiss for the damsel in distress…?" Kagura asked hopefully.
"No, this Sesshomaru was referring to the 'quick get away,'" he intoned as he disappeared into a ball of pink light and zoomed away.
"Damn it! Anyway, I have the evil boss from hell to report back to. See you in a few chapters!" Kagura pulled a feather out of her bun, throwing it skywards. When it was big enough, she took off on it.
"And now it's time for another convenient plot device, especially when there is no plot," Kagome said pointedly.
"And that being?"
"The end!"