One-shot. Randomness. I'm pretty much on crack. Short SasuHina fluff. Fail Blackmailing Neji.

Just trying this style. It was supposed to be longer but I lost the original copy. My ideas went down the drain. *sobs*

New Plot Bunny: Gaara's Innocence. Hohohoho.

Disclaimer: Bitch, I own Gaara.

N-Naruto-kun!

- Hinata Hyuuga

S-Sasuke-kun!

- Sakura Haruno

Hinata was going up the stairs to Sasuke's apartment. He was away in the Hokage tower probably arguing with the newly appointed Naruto. In her breast pocket was the spare key. Her boyfriend had asked her to cook for him and he won't just accept 'no' for an answer. Since she was free for the day, she decided to indulge him. Upon entering his abode, she noticed an envelope forced in the space between the floor and the door.

"Byakugan." Seeing that it was not dangerous, she picked it up and decided to put it where he can see it. However, the words written on the envelope caught her eyes. Seeing that it was from Neji and Hanabi and says that 'Things That You Must Not Do to Hyuuga Hinata, Uchiha' had made her curious.

Curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back.

Needless to say, she opened it.

Uchiha,

Hanabi-sama and I have made our own lists, specifically, for you.

Neji

PS. We're watching you. Literally.

PS. This is Hanabi and I'll know if you won't follow the rule!

Things That You Must Not Do to My Oneesama

1. Kiss her because Neji-nii said that when a guy touches his girlfriend, they get pregnant.

2. Touch her because Neji-nii said that's where a kiss starts.

3. Cuddles her because Neji-nii said she should only cuddle me.

4. Make her cook because Neji-nii said you're not making her your own personal chef.

5. Ask her vital statistics because Neji-nii said that if someone ever tried asking me that, I should try to kill them. I figure it's bad but I already know that. You must not let your enemy know important secrets.

6. Make her sing because all of the qualities she had in her, singing is not one of them. I'm actually saving your eardrums.

Things You Must Not Do To Hinata-sama

1. You are not to refer Hinata-sama 'mine' as she does not belong to you or I'm telling Sai you enjoy Konohamaru's Boy on Boy Jutsu.

2. You are not to make Hinata-sama remove her jacket or I'll tell Orochimaru your undying love for him.

3. You are not to do anything remotely acceptable to Hinata-sama when you're alone or I'm giving the Hokage a copy of Gai-sense's singing 'Fergalicious'. It was disturbing. I'll make sure he'll watch it with you.

4. You are not to take Hinata-sama anywhere without out permission because our gentle fist aren't really gentle.

5. You are not to leave Hinata-sama for another person as it would probably hurt her. May it be woman or a man because I know you go both ways.

6. You are not to make Hinata-sama use whipped cream for anything other than its intended purpose.

7. You are not to molest her. I dare you. I double dare you.

Hinata fainted.

I may or may not write Sasuke's answer to Neji. I somewhat lost the muse.

EDIT 11-16-13: Sequel up, entitled 'Things That Neji Must Know'.

...

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