Jbh14: Here you go, my Christmas fic as promised which actually isn't really that Christmassy… oh well, enjoy it anyway. MERRY CHRISTMAS!
The Loneliest day of the year
I am so going to kill that brat!
Harry sighed. It had been nearly thirteen years since Tom Marvolo Riddle AKA Lord Voldemort's demise and whilst things had been going fairly well; there was still times when Harry wished old snake-face was still alive. At least with Tom I knew what I was doing, thought Harry; running his hand through his hair in frustration.
It was Christmas usually a time for joy and celebration and usually Harry joined in; but this year it seemed it might be the first Christmas where he strangled someone. And the reason for such homicidal action: his godson, Teddy Remus Lupin.
Teddy was in his third year and as usual had come home for Christmas, mainly to visit his Godfather. Despite how many times Harry told him it wasn't necessary; the boy still insisted on keeping his beloved godfather company on perhaps for them at least one of the loneliest days of the year. After all Christmas was a time for family, but for Harry and his godson it was also a reminder that there blood family were all dead or almost dead in Teddy's as he still had his grandmother Andromeda. It was a sad, depressing thought that if it were possible would probably throw itself of the nearest tower block, but there it was. Usually what would happen on Christmas is that Harry and Teddy and usually Andromeda since the boys insisted on inviting her would open there presents and then spend the rest of the day just doing things together.
This year however Harry and Teddy had both been invited to the annual Weasley family Christmas party and Molly hadn't taken no for an answer like she had the last couple of years. Both were powerless to resist the Weasley family matriarch much to Andromeda's amusement; until the two had got revenge by dragging her along with them.
Things had been going surprisingly well; despite Molly's obvious attempts to get him and Ginny together. Honestly you'd think that woman could take a hint-he wasn't interested in Ginny as anything more then a sister and Ginny was interested in… other things… such as her friend, Reinette's delicious ass.
One day Molly might realise her daughter wouldn't be interested in Harry if he was the last man on earth.
Still things had been going fairly well until Harry had turned to talk to Hermione for just a few moments and when he turned back his godson had vanished from the room. Now he was searching the Burrow looking for Teddy, whilst back at the dining table people were impatiently waiting to devour the Turkey which despite his assurances Molly refused to allow anyone to eat until he and Teddy were seated.
I swear this is punishment for something I did in a previous life; give me Voldemort any day…
…
Teddy knew his Godfather was looking for him. He knew his Godfather would probably be very angry with him for worrying the older man who despite his child-like personality and young features was a very tired and at times scarred man who worried about those closest to him a lot. He also knew his Godfather would probably understand better then anyone how Teddy was feeling. But right now all that mattered was the twinkling stars in the night sky.
"You know when I was your age; I used to hide on the roof too"
Teddy jumped, startled and turned around…
"Hi Harry"
…to see his Godfather's amused face.
Harry smiled and sat down next to his godson, careful not to full off the edge – that was the last thing he needed was Molly fussing over him falling off the Burrow's roof and to his death. Not that it would kill him, there was some perks to being the Master of Death after all.
"Although I don't think I ever hid when Molly's cooking was involved"
Teddy smiled, weakly.
Harry turned to his godson and grinned. "So, come here often?"
Teddy chuckled and shook his head. Silence came quickly after that.
The two sat like that for sometime, their legs dangling over the edge of the Burrow's pointy roof. No words were needed between them; they were kindred souls, they had both lost so much, but they had also gained a great deal.
Teddy closed his eyes to try and gather his thoughts. He didn't worry about falling; he had absolute faith in the man sitting next to him and his ability to catch him. He also didn't worry about taking too long. Harry would never rush him or put something as simple as Christmas above his godson. He searched deep down in his heart for the words to express how he was feeling, to express the pain, the agonising aching pain in his heart when he saw the Weasleys together, saw what he was missing out on.
Harry let himself enjoy the silence between him and his godson. He knew all too well how Teddy was feeling and what had caused it. He had and always would love the Weasleys to death, even Percy, git he may be; but there had been times when he had just wanted to push them as far a way as possible. They were a family, a real family like he had always dreamed about and seeing them, together had left a bitter taste in his mouth and a hollow feeling in his chest that had threatened to swallow him whole. It had gotten easier of course, over time and when he had met Sirius and Remus that hollow feeling had started to change into something else. Then Sirius had died…
He shook his head; that had been probably one of the worst days of his life and the hollowness in his heart had come back with full force if not worse then before. He had been so angry; it wasn't fair, why did they get to be a big happy, whole, family whilst he lost everything. Thank god for Hermione and Ron being able to pull him out of it.
That was why he had to be with Teddy now, to pull him out of it and to make sure he didn't end up making his mistakes. It broke his heart to see his godson in such emotional turmoil, but he'd do anything to help.
"It hurts" this was immediately followed by a sniffle.
"I know Ted, I know"
Teddy hair suddenly changed from the dull blue it had been to a fiery red. Harry doubted he was even aware of it. The dam had been broken and now all Teddy's pain was rushing to the surface.
"Their in there laughing and smiling and telling me how much I look like mum or dad and how my parents would be proud of me" Tears started to flow down the side of his face. "…and they have no idea! No idea at all how much it… it hurts. No idea that I'm all alone"
Harry merely sat there and fought the impulse to tell Teddy he was wrong. There would be time for that, after Teddy had finished.
"They have no idea how much it makes me want to hate them" finished Teddy, quietly as if he was afraid Harry would be mad at him.
Harry looked at Teddy for a moment, his hair had shifted to raven black so much like his own and his head was bowed, waiting. The next move was Harry's.
"Let me tell you something Teddy" The boy looked up, eyes shining with tears. "The Weasleys are a big family and I know from experience that although they try to make us feel like family they really just end up making us feel like were all alone in the world" Harry smiled, sadly. "But were not Teddy, were not… you and I, we've got so many people who care about us, but we can't see it. We don't want to see it; because seeing it means admitting that were not okay with our parent's deaths, that they aren't perfect and that deep down part of us wants to hate them for leaving us all alone"
Harry leaned over and pulled Teddy into a close hug, one the boy didn't object to.
"You and I, were only alone if we let ourselves feel like were alone"
Teddy sniffled and buried his head in Harry's shoulder. "Thanks Harry… I needed that, I think" he whispered.
"Anytime Ted, anytime"
The two stayed like that for some time, surrounded in comfortable silence; neither one feeling quite as alone as they did before.
Suddenly Teddy pulled away "I think we should go inside now, it's getting a bit cold"
Harry nodded "It is a bit chilly"
Teddy grinned "And we all know your old bones can't take the cold very well" His hair turned bright blue.
"Why you little brat!" laughed Harry. "Just wait till I get my hands on you!"
His only answer was Teddy's laughter.
Harry smiled. Sometimes Christmas wasn't as lonely as it seemed.
Jbh14: Well there we go a nice happy ending with Teddy and Harry. This fic was fun to write, but ended up a little darker then I had planned. Personally I'm not happy with the ending all that much, but I've rewrote several times already so I'll leave it up to you lot. Anyway please review if you get time and most importantly…
… MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
