A/N: well, everyone, nice to see you all, and this is a new story of mine, inspired when I was watching FotR again last night/this morning. You'll notice that for once Legolas is not a hairdresser type in my stories (well, not as much as usual anyway), but someone who is completely unnecessary :P. even my mum said that he was too feminine! Go Aragorn!

If there are weird character things on this story, please go to View on your toolbar, click encoding and select 'auto-select'. I'm trying to get this problem fixed, I swear!

*I don't own the characters. I own the depressing story I put them in.*

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The Fellowship of the no longer existent Ring Chapter one: Of chaos, howling and trees from dreams

"You WHAT?!" Boromir's shout was loud enough to have been heard all the way back in the Shire, Frodo thought, as his lower lip began to tremble.

"I didn't mean to lose the Ring, it just… got lost, that's all."

Boromir began pacing furiously, his sword banging against his leg with every step. "Fools," he muttered under his breath, "Stupid, blundering -"

"There is only one solution," spoke up Aragorn, "We must retrace our steps to retrieve the Ring from where it has fallen."

The other members of the Fellowship looked at the Ranger, impressed by this smart plan. Everyone thought it was a great idea.

"That's a great idea!" remarked Legolas.

"And that's what I've been trying to say for the last hour and a half we've been sitting here!" Merry cried, exasperated, "And you were all saying, 'shut up, stupid hobbit, we're trying to think.'"

Everyone else ignored him. And began picking themselves up from the snow. Suddenly, there was a great big avalanche (caused by Saruman, of course) that fell directly in the path that they had to take to get the ring.

"And if you'd have listened to me than, we would've gotten the Ring already," muttered Merry.

The Fellowship started despairingly at the mountain of snow that now stood between them and the One Ring.

Boromir let out a howl of anguish as Pippin began to 'explore' this new snow, seeing if it could make good snowballs.

Gandalf sat down hard, his head in his hands, as he remembered what he had said to Elrond in Rivendell, that he wished the Ring had never come to Frodo. Or to any hobbit, for that matter, he thought now. When he said that hobbits were remarkable folk he actually meant that could be entered as the stupidest, fattest group of creatures in Middle Earth.

"Gandalf, are you alright?" asked a concerned Pippin, his face covered in snow. Gandalf realised that he had been talking out loud and smiled at the young hobbit.

"Yes, yes, master Pippin," he said amicably while trying to think of a way to get him buried in the snow before they move on.

Pippin, sighed, relieved. "It's just that everyone's so upset and angry and everything, and if I hadn't taken the Ring from Frodo and -" suddenly he realised what he had just said and clapped his hands over his mouth. Pippin waited for Gadalf to get angry at him. But the wizard's yell of 'Peregrin Took!' never came and Pippin saw that he had fallen asleep while listening to him.

He quietly stepped away from the sleeping figure, inwardly admiring how one could sleep with Boromir howling in the background. He hadn't want to take the Ring away, just to look at it for awhile, but stupid Legolas just had to come and teach him how to climb a tree without mussing up his hair, and well… the Ring had vanished after that.

Wait a minute - Legolas was teaching him how to climb a tree? A tree? What was a tree doing in the middle of the snow? Pippin shrugged, and thought that the whole episode with climbing the tree was all just a dream. Then he stopped, and a slow smile spread over his face. If it was a dream… then he wasn't responsible for losing the Ring! He did not commit the heinous crime after all! Hooray!

Meanwhile, Gimli, of all people, was trying to be optimistic. "Well, at least it's hard to find now, it's probably buried deep in the snow!" he joked to Legolas and Aragorn, though he knew that the Ringwraiths could find the Ring even then.

"But the Ringwraiths would be able to find it!" protested Legolas unnecessarily.

"There must be some other way," said Aragorn, "We must get the Ring. My friends, if we do not then Sauron would rise and Middle Earth would fall! We must not let that happen! We have to fight, trick and kill our way to the Ring, no matter what!" he accentuated his speech by standing up and drawing his sword.

Frodo hiccoughed miserably near him, with Sam patting his head. "Yes, you tell them, Strider," Frodo encouraged, "you'll be the best King ever."

And Aragorn decided there and then that they needed a meeting to work out what they were to do. It took a long time to convince everyone that hope was not lost, a longer time to calm Boromir down and stop him yelling, and an even longer time to wake Gandalf up. Finally, though, they were all ready to discuss.

Everyone, that is, except for Merry. The poor little hobbit watched as the rest forgot about him and 'forgot' to tell him about the meeting. He made up his mind to show them that Meriadoc Brandybuck could be useful, more useful, in fact, than the rest of them put together. So he picked up his pack, and while no-one noticed him, he slipped away from the rest of the Fellowship, off to find the Ring himself.

And so was the breaking of the Fellowship.

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As so is the end of chapter one? Like it? No? well, I'm going to continue anyway. Just be sure to review…