Hello, this is my second Lante General Hospital Fanfic. Please don't be hateful...Im going to try my hardest. THIS IS GOING TO BE VERY AU:)

" Soul "

Chapter One: The Thoughts

Dear Diary,

The thoughts had been going through my mind for to long. I wanted it to be over. But, before I could accomplish that, I had to figure out what "It" was. The thoughts went through my mind. "It" was, my life. I hated that thought, but it was true. It was the sad truth that was staring me in the face. I wanted my life to be over.

I had always been so happy. So very happy. Or, at least that's the act I put on. The show I let people see. The lies I made people believe. I guess, I could say, the happiness was never really there. But that would be a lie to. Of course, I'd been happy. Just never happy enough.

So many horrible things had happened to me in my short twenty-two years of living. So many. I'd been kidnaped. I'd been drugged. I'd been used. I'd lost a person I counted on. I'd lost all hope. The hope I need to continue on.

Yes, I may sound crazy. But, I'm not. These are my true feelings, and this is the only way to get them out. By writing them down. You, diary help me with my fears and sadness. Thank you. You've been a good friend all the way. Writing in you everyday.

Wow, I'm saying good-bye to my diary. Sadly, it seems you're the only thing I have to say goodbye to. Yes, there is Maxie. My best friend, but she doesn't understand. She's never tried to. And right now, that's what I need. Someone to try and understand.

Okay, I'll admit it. I'm depressed. That's a scary word. Depression. It's funny. Depression is a word that sounds depressing...moving on. I needed a little bit of humor. It felt good to laugh. I haven't laughed in months.

So, back to how, I'm done with life. I want to end mine. There, I said another thing that's scary. Because one ending there own life, has it's own scary name. Suicide. I hate the sound of the word. But, I better get used to it. It's what's down the path for me.

I've been thinking about how to do it. And where. One thing I thought of was maybe shooting myself. Or maybe drowning by accident. I have the location picked though. My bedroom. The place I feel the safest. I think I'm going to go with the gun on this one though. I hope it's a good decision, since it will be the last real decision I ever make.

You may think I sound pathetic, diary. Giving up like this. It is pathetic. I know it is, but it's the only thing that feels right, right now. My world is falling around me, and I need an escape. I need a way out of this mess we call life. A mess, I call my life.

Sometimes I wish, I could try harder. It's just to difficult for me. To try for something that I know will never happen. What I'm talking about, is my happiness. That's never coming back. It's gone. And there's nothing anyone can do about it.

It's cold outside. So very, very cold. Well, it is January. January Seventh to be exact. It should be cold outside in New York. Wow, I'm getting very off topic. I guess it just feels so good to have a distraction.

I've made some big changes. I've given away some of my things. I've dyed my very blonde hair a dark brown, and I've starting dressing differently. All signs that someone's going to commit suicide. Nobody has noticed though. Which I guess you could say is a good thing. Now I can through with what I have planned for myself, with out feeling guilty.

No regrets. In one week, I will be gone. And never will be seen again.

Love,

Lulu Spencer

Dante looked down at the piece of paper in his hand. "I noticed," He whispered to no one in particular. He thought about today's date. It was January Fourteenth. 'I've got to find her' he thought to himself as he ran through the cold streets of Port Charles.

How he'd stumbled upon this piece of paper, he wasn't sure. He figured Lulu must've thrown it away and it flew out of her trashcan, because he found it right in front of her apartment building. Dante had picked up the piece of paper, but didn't read it. No, not yet. He had slipped it into his pocket until he got to the docks. Where, He took out that important piece of paper and read it.

You may be wondering, what did he find interesting about that piece of paper on the sidewalk? There must've been dozens of papers all over the sidewalk. The thing that got his attention, was her name on the bottom. He saw that name and wanted to know why her name was at the bottom of this paper.

Well, now he knows why. And now he knows what he has to do. He has to find her. He has to find the Newly made brunette, and he had to save her. He had to be the person that helped her. Because he had noticed before this. He had noticed these signs, just never thought much of it. Until now. Until he read the words that were going on inside her head.

When he did find her. She was dressed in a black skirt with leggings and a white long sleeved shirt. With a large coat over it. He stared at her beauty and couldn't help wondering if he was the only one who knew what Lulu's plans for tomorrow were. He probably was.

"Lulu!" Dante shouted her name.