Hey Guys!,
So I decided to make this one-shots story where I put the father-son relationships in the Harry Potter fandom.
I don't take requests but I will tell you when I would.
Enjoy!
Cindynetha Black
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Title : Why Aren't You Different?
Characters : Percival Dumbledore, Albus Dumbledore, Kendra Dumbledore ( Mentioned ), Ariana Dumbledore ( Mentioned ), Aberforth Dumbledore ( Mentioned ).
One-shot's Summary : Percival Dumbledore thought when he saw Albus looking at him with his twinkling eyes and and a toothy grin that everything will be perfect. But he was wrong, so very wrong, very wrong he wished Albus is different...
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Disclaimer : Harry Potter doesn't belong to me.
A/N to the haters : If you don't like it, simply don't read it.
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Why Aren't You Different?
At the first moment Percival Dumbledore held his new-born and first son; Albus Dumbledore, for the first time, he felt happiness and delight make its way inside his body. He was given energy unlike any kind of energy he felt before, and in a fleeting moment, he felt the world stop as he admired his little bundle of joy.
Albus has wide blue and twinkling eyes, his skin is so white and pale it can be mistaken for the snow if he was put in it, which matched perfectly with his fiery soft hair on the top of his head.
And while Albus drank from his bottle, Percival laughed. Laughed at how good it felt to be a father, laughed at the beloved son who is calm in his arms and was wailing moments ago in the healer's. He kept laughing as Albus looked at him in his own blue eyes.
For the first two years in Albus' life, Percival saw him as a perfect son who can never be replaced. Albus learned how to count to ten, sing the alphabetic song and read " The Tales Of Beedle The Bard ". Percival absolutely loved Albus with all of his heart.
One year later, Aberforth came along, Percival didn't think that it will change anything, but it did. He soon enough stopped to pay more attention to his eldest and more to his youngest. He couldn't believe how wrong he could be.
For the first few months, Albus would come running to him. Asking him to read to him, play with him or just sit down with him, each time Percival said he is busy taking care of Aberforth. Soon enough, Albus stopped.
Kendra putted her foot down and told Percival to take care of Albus too. Percival preferred spending time with Aberforth, but to ease his guilt he decided to spend more time with Albus.
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Albus is three years-old, sitting on the sofa with a thick book in his arms. Percival hesitated before he approached his son, Albus looked up when he sat down next to him. A look of knowing and fear in his eyes.
Was he afraid his father would yell at him? Did he actually think Percival would make him cry?
He prayed it isn't this. " So Albus", Percival said sitting a good two meters away from his son. " What are you reading?", he asked hopeful his son would answer.
Albus eyed him for a minute before showing his father the cover of the book. Hogwarts : A history , how come his son can read such long and complicated words at the age of three?! Last time Percival checked, he only knew how to read children's stories!
" Do you like it so far?", Percival asked trying to shake off his wave of shock. Albus nodded his head slowly avoiding his eyes, is his son trying not to talk to him? Percival hoped not.
" Father, we both know you like spending more time with Aberforth, it's alright you can go and I will tell Mama that you spent time with me", Albus said shrugging easily. Percival froze at the sound of Albus' voice, it changed. Less high-pitched, calm and soothing unlike the sweet and excited voice he became very used to. " We both know she is the only one who keeps you stuck with me, go, I won't tell on you".
As if he dismissed him, Albus turned to back to his thick book. Percival sat there in shock, he left the room out of shock and it wasn't until he went to sleep that same night that he realized what happened.
The look of fear in Albus' eyes came from the look his father would yell at him for being a waste of time, the knowing look came knowing that Kendra is the only one who keeps Percival around Albus, his prayer had been fulfilled but in a different way.
And it broke his heart and made him want to wrench his heart away so he can stop feeling this awful feeling. Is Albus thinking his father hates him? Does he think he is a waste of a time to his father? And most of all, he called Kendra ' Mama ' and called him ' Father '
Percival knew now, that he isn't giving Albus as much as a second glance. He must work hard to have and bring back the relationship and bond he had with Albus.
' Another day ' , Percival thought determined, ' Another start '.
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And as the next day came, Percival woke up earlier than usual. He went to Albus' room and opened the door to find his son peacefully sleeping in his bed, he glanced at his son and froze.
Albus is looking much younger and peaceful in his sleep, the strange thing is that he looks older too. His fiery red hair is now auburn and soft like the pheonix feathers, longer than before and covering his forehead, he is taller than Percival remembers. It's funny how can someone look younger and older at the same time.
" Father?", a calm quiet voice asked. Percival didn't know who the owner of the voice is until he saw the questioning look on Albus' face. Had his son really changed that much?
" Do you need anything?", Albus asked moving further away in his bed. Percival shook his head and stood up awkwardly, he must think of something to say.
Ignoring the heartache he felt when Albus asked him that question, Percival opened his mouth to speak; " No, I just want to be the one who wakes you up this time! Like old times!".
Albus looked uncertain but nodded slowly. Percival thought back to what he used to do and found himself forgetting. How can he forget his own son?! He's such an awful father!
Albus walked past him to the bathroom. Percival frowned at the sound of water, can Albus be alright with water at three years-old? As he was about to get up, Albus came back and made his way to the closet.
" Can you please get out?, I need to change my clothes", Albus asked politely. Percival nodded numbly and closed the door after he left.
While Albus changed his clothes, Percival was left alone with his thoughts. How come Albus can wash himself and dress by himself? When Percival used to spend time with him he didn't know how to brush his teeth. Albus changed a lot, instead of acting like a child he's acting like an adult, where did the bright smiley boy go?
Why can't Albus be like he used to? It will make everything easier. Why can't he be more like a child? More like Aberforth, why can't he be... Different...
The guilt went through his body like a knife when it cuts a slice of a cake. Percival shouldn't be thinking like that, he should accept his son and not judge him or compare him. He's a terrible father to Albus, apologizes, the worst.
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For the next few weeks, Percival could only think about how Albus should be different. Percival is the one who is supposed to read to him, wash him, dress him and put him to sleep and not Albus. This isn't Albus.
This boy isn't his son. His son is the one with the wide curious and twinkling blue eyes, the one with a bright toothy girn and the high-pitched sweet and excited voice. Not this boy.
This boy is different, so very different. His eyes now shine with knowledge and wisdom, his mouth in a straight line and his voice quiet and calm. How Percival wishes for Albus to change back.
Soon enough, Percival started to avoid Albus. To avoid those horrid thoughts and the killing guilt he feels around his son. He soon knew that avoiding Albus is the best choice.
Kendra stopped talking to him. She would be found playing with Albus and taking care of him, and very well kept herself in her pregnant state away from the baby's father. Percival feared that he will stop taking care of Aberforth too when the next baby comes.
But he didn't, he took care of both Ariana and Aberforth. Ariana with her shinning blonde hair and her sweet blue eyes, who likes to make people laugh, Aberforth and his protective nature to his little sister. The two got a long quite well.
And as the two grew up, they became closer. Three years-old Ariana would be found chasing butterflies in the backyard with four years-old Aberforth on her heels. They were a unite of their own.
But Albus is a whole different story. At six years-old he would be found doing wandless magic; making sparks, closing windows and doors or opening them, lighting up a fire, make a couple of things fly in the air and even makes crowns of different kinds of flowers to give them to Ariana or his mother...
Ariana called him ' The special wizard ', Aberforth looked up at him and Kendra called him talented. Percival... Percival didn't know what to call him.
One day, he got tired of Albus being like this so he went to a family photo. He brought Albus' photo close and sighed.
" Why aren't you different?", Percival asked the picture demanding. He got tired of Albus acting like a grown-up, tired of seeing a child but feeling like talking to someone in his forties. " Why are you always acting like an adult? Why can't you be like Aberforth or Ariana?", no answer.
Percival groaned, " All I want is a son who will act like a child when he is! Is this too much to ask!".
As he threw the photo, he heard it shatter...
... And flinch...
Huh?, flinch? He turned around to find Albus with the thick book hanging between two small fingers, two trails of tears making their way down his cheeks and he looked small... so very smalll...
Percival wanted to scream, to apologize, to cry. To do anything, ANYTHING, but stay frozen in shock with his mouth open wide.
As he was about to speak, Albus saved him. " I'm so sorry...", was all his son said to him, his lower lip trembling and his chubby cheeks shinning with tears. His voice sounded lost, hurt and... Betrayed...
The fact the he was apologizing for being himself didn't help Percival. It was as if Albus is apologizing for liking to read, as if he is apologizing for being smart, for being talented, for being... Himself..
And as Albus choked on a sob, Percival saw him. Saw that he is a child, saw that he can cry and laugh like other children, saw how Albus simply likes other things than just games. But he saw it far too late.
Percival didn't do anything when Albus ran. He watched with the guilt and self-loath building inside him, for he knew, nothing would ever be the same between the two again.
He missed how he can hug Albus, kiss him, take care of him without feeling any guilt. He missed how Albus used to laugh and smile brightly with him. Now, will his smile ever be the same? Will Albus laugh as carefree and young as he did?
" I'm sorry Albus...", Percival choked out. He wished it would be enough, wished his son will hear and with all of his big mind will notice the sincerity in his voice. " I'm very very sorry my son.."
He knew what to do, he grabbed a parchment and a bottle of ink...
*
12 years later...
Summer 1899...
Seventeen years-old Albus looked through the drawers in his mother's bedroom. He didn't know how to feel, really, her death had killed him. She was the only one who understood and encouraged him, so he simply chose to not think about it. As he opened the last drawer, he noticed a yellow and worn letter.
Curious, Albus opened it. What was written in there surprised him and shoke him.
It was from his father, when he was six years-old...
Dear Albus,
Son, I know things weren't right between us, and I know I'm the one to blame. Albus I was a fool, such a fool.
I could hear your sobs while you're upstairs, crying because I want you different.
I can still hear your apology, a whispered broken voice, telling me that this is you and you're ashamed of yourself.
Oh son, forgive me, I compared you, I left you alone. I was being a fool when I used to wonder why you changed until I realized it was because of me.
Son, please don't let my words bring you down. Remember how I used to pick you up when you fell when you first learned to walk?
Remember when I played with you hide-and-seek and chose the most obvious places to hide so you can find me easily?
Remember when I used to wipe your tears away when you cried?
Remember when I used feed you and clean you?
Remember when I used to read you stories before you fell asleep?
If you do, then please remember me as the loving and doting father you once had. And not this awful excuse of a father.
I don't deserve your forgiveness, but please forgive me, I love you Albus.
You may think I'm lying but I'm not, Albus I love you very very much and I'm very very sorry my son.
With all of my love,
Your father
Albus finished it crying. Tears were wetting his cheeks, strong sobs were shaking his body violently, he felt numb.
Sorry?! Now?! Just how many nights did Albus spend crying and wishing to be different?! How many times did he break down on the sight of himself in the mirror?! How many times did he avoid his father so he won't anger him?! How many times did he think of himself as an unworthy, useless and idiotic son?!
Why?! Why did this happen?! Why did his father say those things to him if he didn't mean them?! Why did he read this now
Now after his father had his soul sucked out, after his mother died, after Ariana had been attacked, after Aberforth started to resent him!
Why does everything has to be taken away from him?! Why can't he have a normal life?! Why can't everything be alright?!
Albus felt the beginning of a headache come. He half groaned and half sobbed, his head is a mess, he is a mess.
All of a sudden, he felt someone hold him close to their chest. To safety and warmth, to love and care, to sweetness and kindness. Feeling safer than he ever felt in his life.
" It's alright love, it's alright. I'm here beloved, no one will ever hurt you again, I will give you all of my love and care. You won't need any of them darling, I love you and I'm going to make sure you feel loved liebing. Don't worry Süber I've got you.."
Gellert...
Will he lose him too? Will Gellert leave him? Albus clinged tightly to his husband and buried his face in his chest. Gellert held him tighter, planting kisses on his head and hair.
Maybe Percival left him, but at least he has Gellert. Or so he thought...