Padfoot the Seer

by Dawn96

Did you have any wierd dreams that you want to find out it's meanings? Well fear no more for Padfoot the Seer will uncover it's true secret!

1. Chapter 1

Padfoot the Seer
Chapter 1

A/n: I hope it's good enough! pls review

Dear Padfoot
I had a dream about ponies and rainbows last night, what does this all mean?
-I-Think-I'm-Lucky

Dear I-Think-I'm-Lucky,
Due to my professional seeking skills and my indulgence (Moony taught me that word- Ahem!) into the Inner Eye, it has come to me that Jupiter has come in line with Mars which means that they are having a near alienated trade of tomato paste, that leads Saturn to feel left out in which war has inflicted (another one- I mean, carrying on…) with Neptune. Pluto however has joined Mercury in the envasion of Venus causing astronomical waves to reach earth and have contact with your brain sending you these dreams meaning that your dream was utter nonsense.
-Padfoot

Dear Padfoot
After my Divination lesson, I slept in History of Magic and dreamt about Professor Trelawny and teacups. What does this mean?
-I'm Scared

Dear I'm Scared (well, you are…)
I don't need to watch the stars for this- but, what are your favourite flowers? Perhaps I can lay them on your grave.
-Padfoot

Dear Padfoot
I dreamt that my boyfriend broke up with me. Do you think that this will happen?
-Heart-Broken

Dear Heart-Broken
If you are ugly or a Slytherin then: Saturn has passed Uranus meaning that Venus was thrown into orbit due to the murder of Mars, which leads Jupiter to twinkle, twinkle little planet! However the asteroid belt transformed into leather rather than rock and has made a gravitational difference in the magnetic field of the sun which means that no, it's not true.

If you are pretty then: Neptune has bumped into Pluto while sending astronomical waves to the farthest constellations which aliens have come to invade war- however, Mars was discovered to be fine while Mercury burned it's bottom off- I told it to never get near that ball of fire, but he never listens!- so Earth absorbed the magnetic waves of Ganymede which means that your boyfriend is cheating on you, so you can go out with me instead!
-Padfoot

Dear Padfoot
I dreamt of the Grim last night. Is it true I'll die?
-SCCCARRRED

Dear sc????
Yes, you'll die, now scram!
-Padfoot

Dear Padfoot
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
- SCCCARRRED

Dear Scared(which is a human way of putting it)
No, you will not die, Sirius is laughing at you.
-Moony

Dear Padfoot
SCRAM MOONY!
-Padfoot

Dear Padfoot
Why did you say 'Dear Padfoot' While addressing me, idiot!
-Moony

Dear MOONY
SCRAM! BEFORE I CALL PRONGSIE!
-Padfoot

Dear Padfoot
You're the dog, not Prongs.
-Moony

Dear Padfoot
You called ME- the amazing, stupendous, marvoulous, astonishing, drop-dead gorgous person in the entire world- a dog? You foul, mangy- mangy muut, stup-
-Prongs

Dear- whoever
Where did Prongs go?
-Padfoot

Dear Padfoot
Evans alert, need I say more?
- Moony

Dear Padfoot
Can you like, I dunno, answer OUR questions?
-Like-Waiting

Dear Like-Waiting
Jupiter has awakened Uranus from its deep solitude allowing Mars to flow- huh? *re-reads letter* Oh! Sure! I mean, the Inner Eye seems most welcoming at this time.
-Padfoot

Dear Padfoot
I dreamt of freedom last night, what does this mean
-The One Who Dreamt About Freedom Last Night

dear T.O.W.D.A.F.L.N
You're gonna die- NEXT!
- Padfoot

Dear Padfoot
I dream of pie last night.
- I Like Pie

Dear I Like Pie(why, so do I!)
So?
-Padfoot

Dear Padfoot
Can you tell me what it means
- I Like Pie

Dear I.L.P
Tell you what means what?
-Padfoot

Dear Padfoot
My dream
-It's I Like Pie, not I.L.P

Dear I.L.P
What dream?
Padfoot

Damn Dear Padfoot!
I DREAMT ABOUT PIE! WHAT DOES THIS MEAN!!!!
- I LIKE PIE!!!

Dear Anger Management
Since you shouted, you die- Next!
-Padfoot

A/n: PLease REVIEW!