I'll Follow the Sun
Summary:
Chakotay wonders why. (J/C) (Note: From Chakotay's point-of-view.)Now, I often wonder how it ended up this way. I had given her chances; but more importantly, I had given her my love. She had refused to accept it; she had pushed me away. Perhaps she thought I would wait for her. Perhaps that's what I thought too.
I certainly could have waited for her. I just decided not to. She was frustrating me. She would flirt, tease, and then just…give up. At first I thought that it was leading up to something…but I thought that in vain.
I guess I also certainly understand her reasons for not pursuing a relationship: the prime directive. But, then again, that's her reason for everything she does; it's her excuse to fall back upon. But, if she's hell-bent on following protocol and the prime directive, then why does she constantly break it? The most recent has been with helping Neelix. But, Neelix was a friend. But, that was still violating protocol, wasn't it, Kathryn? I'm a friend; would helping us out be breaking protocol, or are we not an exception? So, no, I guess I don't understand why she never chose to pursue a relationship with me.
But, she never did. And, I guess that's her loss, or her gain, depending on how she sees it.
Now, as I sit here thinking, still frustrated, still confused, I wonder why. We could have been perfect…but it's too late for that now.
I told her once, "Someday, Kathryn, you'll look to see that I've gone. I won't be here for you forever." That was a long time ago now, during a fight we had during the Equinox ordeal.
She never listened. Maybe she never loved me like I loved her. Maybe she did. I don't really care.
She may frustrate me, confuse me, make me angry…but I still love her.
One day you'll find that I have gone
But tomorrow may rain, so I'll follow the sun
The End