Hi everyone, well this is yet another songfic, it begged me to be written. The song is Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls, and the characters are off the Bill which I do not own, so let's just get that straight. I am using the characters for my own ( and perhaps some other peoples) pleasure otherwise no harm intended. Again this is femslash mild, but it still hints at it, so if you don't like it, don't read and flame me for it (Actually if do you want to flame me feel free, but I WILL respond to you.) Now I better go but hope that you enjoy.

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

Nikki sat in the car next to Doug, who was driving them home. At that word she grimaced. She should be looking forward to going home, today had been horrific. She had been chasing after a suspect, when suddenly he had turned around and she had fallen over him. On seeing her down, he had kicked her and then run off. They had caught him a minute later, but she had been injured.

Sitting in the medic's room at the station, the door had opened, she had looked up and Diane walked into the room the concern evident on her face. Nikki mustered up a smile and then sighed a breath of relief as Diane pulled her in for a hug, muttering words about not doing it again, and what not. They stayed that way for a moment before Diane pulled away and looked Nikki in the eyes. Diane gently gave her a kiss and then walked out of the door. Not a minute later Doug entered. Gina had called him, he was taking her home, and wasn't taking no for an answer. She knew that even though she was with Doug that night, her thoughts were with Diane, and she knew that Diane knew this as well.


And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over

Diane was kissing her. They were at Diane's place, Nikki was 'working late'. Her hands wandered over Diane, loosening the top that Diane was wearing, giving it an impatient tug until it finally came off. Then it was Nikki's turn to lose a top, then the pants came off. Soon they were on the bed, clothes removed, bodies entangled, their breathing mingled. They were kissing, moving, touching. They could feel each other's heartbeats, and as Diane's fingers moved across and down Nikki's body Nikki was thinking that this is it, this is heaven. Later they were laying together, arms around each other. They didn't speak, they didn't want to. Both knew that sooner rather than later Nikki would have to get up and leave. Go back to her family, and pretend that this had never happened.


I just don't want to miss you tonight

Nikki was sitting at home, it was the 25th of December , she knew that, as apart from being Christmas it had been four days since Diane had gone down to visit her son, and even though she didn't want to admit it to herself, she was missing Diane. The reason? Well, if she admitted that she missed Diane, then it meant it was just more than sex, that their whole arrangement was more than just sex. It had never had this dimension, she was a bit scared of it actually. She didn't know if she could accept that idea. Her being in love with Diane Noble. No, she was married, what about Doug, the kids? She couldn't think about it.

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

Nikki lay in Diane's arms and cried. It had come out today at the station. Everyone knew of her divorce, but no one had known the reason. Apparently some officer had been talking to someone at Barton Street who had overheard Doug speaking, and then the news had been relayed back to Sun Hill. Nikki had walked into the cafeteria and people suddenly stopped talking. After a few minutes someone had asked her if it was true.

"What's true?" Nikki questioned.

"That you left your husband for a woman?" the PC asked.

Nikki's eyes had sought out Diane's; a small nod was all she had received.

"Yes, I have."

At this Roger spoke up.

"You can't tell me that you fell in love with a woman, and it was enough to leave your husband and your kids."

"Actually Roger, I did."

At this Roger snorted and walked off. Nikki had then gone to sit at a table, her head held high, even though she felt like bawling her eyes out. A few officers had come over and congratulated her on being so brave, but over the rest of the shift, she had quite a few officers say similar things to Roger.

So when she had gotten into Diane's flat, she had crumbled. The words that her fellow officers said had stung her the most, until today she thought she knew them. Yet they had turned on her, because she had loved someone of the same sex.