Hi my name is Draco Malfoy and I used to have platinum blond hair. Some girl named Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way used the colour-changing charm on it so now it's black. I have icy grey eyes which she describes irritatingly as resembling limpid tears. Ebony changed me into a vampire but my teeth are still straight and white. I still have pale white skin, which is a rare feature that hasn't been distorted by the OOC-ness in this story. I'm also a wizard, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year. I'm seventeen. My school used to be in Scotland but this Ebony lifted it up and put it somewhere else on the map.
That Ebony girl turned me into a goth, in case you couldn't tell, and I am forced to wear mostly black. I am also obligated to buy all my clothes from Hot Topic, despite the dress code I have to follow at school. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which Ebony was squealing happily about. A lot of preps stared at her. She put up her middle finger at them.
"Hey Ebony!" I shouted. She looked up.
"What's up Draco?" she asked.
"Nothing." I said shyly.
But then, her friends called her and she had to go away. Finally! Freedom!
The next day I woke up in my bedroom. I have a dorm room but Ebony won't let me sleep there anymore. It was snowing and raining again - a weather phenomenon that is only possible in her world. I got out of my coffin and took off my pyjamas. I have a bed, but you know the drill. Instead, I put on some black clothes. I went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall. I met Ebony and Willow there and I walked up to them.
"Hi." I said.
"Hi." she replied flirtingly.
"Guess what." I said.
"What?" she asked.
"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." I told her. I hate that muggle band, but Ebony keeps forcing the music she favours through my ears and I had to comply with her orders.
"Oh. My. God!" she screamed.
"Well…. do you want to go with me?" I asked. Sarcastically.
She gasped.
On the night of the concert I felt a little depressed that some idiot girl put such a degrading spell on me. A razor blade came floating in the air and it slit one of my wrists. I was force-read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I was forced to listen to some GC. I was ready to go to the concert so I could get it over with. I went outside and waited for Ebony in front of the flying car she provided me with.
"Hi Draco!" she said in a depressed voice.
"Hi Ebony." I said back. We walked into my flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666...again, I have no choice) and flew to the place with the concert, despite me never earning my driver's licence or ever taking a lesson. Only muggles use this tin can to get around! On the way I had to listen uninterestedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. She stuffed my mouth with both cigarettes and drugs. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. She dragged me into the mosh pit at the front of the stage and I bounced up and down as I drowned in that god-awful noise that is Good Charlotte.
"You come in cold, you're covered in blood. They're all so happy you've arrived. The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom. She sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own the lyrics to that song).
"Joel is so hot." she said to me, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his deafening voice. Oh. My. Goodness. I cannot stand that noise anymore! I must vomit!
"What's wrong?" she asked as we moshed to the music. There was a pause. "Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" she said.
"Really?" I asked nauseously and I put my arm around her because I felt like choking her.
"Really." she said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary Duff. I hate that little bitch." she said disgustedly.
The night went on horribly, and I had a terrible time. But Ebony didn't know my pain. After the concert, I drank some beer to escape from this mess and she made Benji and Joel sign my not-so-precious Simple Plan t-shirt. Playing along was a good strategy! They took photos of us with them - the variety that doesn't move. You know, the dreaded muggle kind. She bought a truckload of GC concert tees under the impression that I had any interest in getting caught with any of them on my back. Ebony and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but I didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead I drove the car into…the Forbidden Forest!
"DRACO!" she shouted. "What do you think you are doing?"
I didn't answer but I stopped the flying car and I walked out of it. She walked out of it too, curiously.
"What the hell?" she asked angrily.
"Ebony?" I asked.
"What?" she snapped.
Suddenly she leaned in extra-close and she looked into my gothic red eyes (I have no choice, dear matey) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness reflecting the fact that I was about to kill her. She didn't feel mad anymore, for some twisted reason.
And then…suddenly she smashed her lips onto mine oh-so-unexpectedly. I climbed on top of her to crush her but she held onto me keenly against a tree. I took off her top and she took off my clothes. She even took of her bra. Then I put my thingie (i.e. dagger) into her you-know-what (i.e. chest) and we did it (i.e. tried to kill her) for the first time.
"Oh! Oh! Oh! " she screamed. Surprisingly, she was beginning to get an orgasm. She started to peck me (ARGH!!!) everywhere and her pale body became all warm. And then….
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"
It was…Dumbledore!