DISCLAIMER-I obviously don't own the Teen Titans. And I hereby apologize in advance to people with the name 'Dick.' Mr. Vice Prez, I mean you!-
"Why are we always playing truth or dare?" asked Robin, "It's like the third time this week!"
He rotated cups while Raven poured the drinks.
"I blame Beast-Boy. He's watched too much TV and assumes the game automatically leads to a make-out session."
"Oh, come on Raven. I'm sure BB just wants some innocent fun," he walked to the cabinet,
"Need 1 more..."
"Who's the empath here?" she muttered, "And the things Starfire wants to do to you would make you join a monastery."
"What?"
"I said you only need four cups. Starfire likes her mustard straight from the container."
"Right," Robin grabbed the mustard then went to pick up the cups. Before he could, they were enveloped in black energy and transported to the couch.
"Thanks.
"No problem."
Robin walked to where the other Titans were seated. He slid in next to Starfire and handed her her "beverage." Quickly the two began chatting and blushing nervously.
You really are blind as a bat, thought Raven. One didn't need to be an empath to see how much the alien girl cared for the Earth Boy. But being an empath meant that Raven was extremely aware of the fact, as if someone were screaming at her whenever the two were around.
Still, Starfire wasn't as bad as Beast Boy. He was a mess of insecurities and raging hormones. She actually preferred it when Terra was around, so that the changeling could focus all his energy and emotions on his crush. She could tolerate the others-Robin, Cyborg, Starfire when she wasn't around Robin-but Beast Boy was often too much. He was like all those products on TV that claimed to be EXTREME! Raven didn't do extreme. Extreme Raven was Armageddon.
Raven scolded herself. She really was being too critical. The truth was, they were all saints for putting up with her cold, dark ways. They were her friends, and she loved them as much as she could safely allow herself to.
"Rae! Come on we're starting! And don't say your not playing!"
She glided over, a small smirk on her face and began to take her seat between Cyborg and Beast Boy. Beast Boy smiled. Starfire's eyes beamed joyously.
An alarm went off in Raven's head. They were up to something! She felt a connection between the two. They were plotting something...
Surveying the seating arrangement, she realized that if she sat there, it would be Starfire giving her her questions and dares, and Beast Boy doing the same for Robin. No doubt the two had talked before and created a series of prearranged questions and dares. It was perfect. If Starefire dared Robin to kiss her, it would be too much. But Beast Boy dishing out the dare? If things went badly, they could just chalk it up to Beast Boy being Beast Boy. And likewise Starfire could hide behind her innocent ignorance when it was her turn. Raven silently cursed their unholy alliance of annoyance.
"Rae, what are you waiting for? Sit down!" BB was getting impatient.
"Of course," she said then rudely smashed herself between Robin and Cyborg.
She laughed inwardly as she felt Stafire and BB's disappointment.
"Hey what's wrong with sitting next to me?" BB whined.
Raven was about to reply that he hadn't had a flea bath recently, but then paused. She felt bad at thwarting her two teammates plan. After all, they weren't exactly the planning type, and it had no doubt taken a lot of effort.
"You remember when I went into Robin's head that time?" Raven began, the others nodded, "We formed a bond, which normally is dormant. Due to current planetary aspects, however, I need to be close to Robin physically. Failing to do so would either summon vampiric demons from a hell dimension or kill us both through the act of spontaneous decombustion."
"What?"
"No way!"
"Raven, I had no idea!"
"Yeep!" Starfire shrieked, "Does this imply that tonight you must sleep-"
"Don't worry Starfire," Raven raised my hand, "These conditions should only last another hour. And it's really no big deal. Let's play the stupid game."
I can't believe they bought that crap thought Raven. She felt Robin leaning into her, as his life depended upon it, and had to resist the urge to grin.
"Right, let's begin!"
The first few rounds were easy. Almost all were dares. Cyborg ate tofu, Starfire recounted her most embarrassing moment- of misquoting the epic poem of ethereal contentment at some ceremony when she was five-, Beast Boy almost ate a hot dog and Robin impersonated Batman. Raven herself was compelled to "dance like a funky chicken." Her teammates applauded the result as hilarious.
The beauty of Raven's rebellion was that it was now Beast Boy and Starfire giving the dares directly to their intended targets. And they were both either too timid or cowardly to try anything bold.
"So Raven, who do you like?"
Perhaps she had misjudged them.
"Like?" She raised an eyebrow.
"You know, have the hots for, love, wanna get busy with? You know, it's as simple as 'I like Beast Boy.'"
"Keep saying that to yourself. It's the only way you'll ever hear it."
"What's a a matter Rae? Too much of a coward to answer?" He transformed into a chicken and started to Bawk.
"Unlike some vegetarians, I do what I say I will. Fine. I like... no I LOVE... Robin."
There was a collective gasp from the other Titans. Starfire suddenly clung to Robin possessively.
"And Starfire..."
This time only Beast Boy responded, though for a split second Raven caught a strange feeling coming from Robin. Hmmm. She hadn't thought the Boyscout Wonder capable of those kind of thoughts.
"And Cyborg... and sometimes even you Beast Boy."
"Hey! No fair, that's not what I meant! That's cheating!"
"You're right. Of course," Raven glared at him. "Seeing as how when I get even slightly annoyed, things explode, a little afraid the whole Tower goes Horror movie, why I must obviously passionately love someone because feeling such a strong emotion would probably destroy the world."
"Oh."
"DON'T. ASK. STUPID. QUESTIONS."
"Right, sorry," Beast Boy said sheepishly.
Starfire was up next. Beast Boy's ordeal had obviously discouraged her from asking the same question. She pursed her lips and scrunched her face in deep thought.
"Robin, a telling of truth or the daring of dares?"
"I did dare last time, so how about a truth?"
This seemed to disappoint her slightly. Her dare was probably to take off his mask. The other titans had talked about it, but thus far none had the courage to do it.
"Robin, if it is not rude, may I ask your real human name?"
Robin promptly spit his orange juice onto the carpet and coffee table.
Bravo Star, thought Raven.
"You know team, it's getting late and, uh, we have an early practice tomorrow!"
"No we don't," said Cyborg.
"We do now."
"Is this truth... unacceptable?" Starfire's head hung in disappointment.
"No Star, it's just, well, its a secret identity! I mean, why would I bother wearing a mask if everyone knew who I was?"
"Yet you know each of our names. I am truly Koriander, and Cyborg is Victor and Beast Boy is Garfield, and Raven is Raven."
"I know Star, but what if, well, you and Raven aren't from here," Robin attempted to explain, "Cy, BB, you guys have have family and friends here, right?"
"Well yeah."
"Of course!"
"And everyday we fight bad guys," Robin continued,"And these bad guys know they can't hurt us, because we rock, being the titans and all. But maybe these bad guys think they can hurt us by hurting our friends or family..."
"So you are a secret to protect those you love?" Starfire completed the thought.
"Exactly! And that's why I don't tell anyone, even you, my closest friends, who I used to be."
"But Raven knows," countered Star.
"She does? How?"
"As Raven said before the game, she and you possess a bond. She has seen your mind. She has seen the true Robin, which remains hidden to the rest of us."
Robin blushed deeply at this thought.
"That's not really true," Raven said, "I was in there, but it's not like a movie, just a big mess of thoughts and images. You can't make sense of it."
"Then you do not know of Robin's not super name, friend Raven?"
"Well, I do know of a name he was called-" Raven felt herself hauled to her feet. She found herself hunched in the corner, talking with a panicked Robin.
"Raven, what do you know?"
"More than I'm letting on. But relax. I'll tell them your nickname. You get to keep your precious secret but they get to feel a bit closer to their leader."
"Well... ok. Let's do it."
They walked back and sat down side by side.
"Friend Robin, may we know?"
He nodded.
"Raven, tell them what you know."
"In earlier years, our fearless leader was known as... Dick."
"BUWAHAHA!"
"Dude! You're name is Dick!"
"Yes, Robin, it is a glorious name! A name as I always dreamed you would possess!" Starfire clapped happily.
"It is?" Robin was clearly confused.
"Yes! On My planet, the Dickunat is the most noble of creatures! With their wings they soar majestically into the starry skies of the night! In legend, one even offered to serve as the steed for the mighty warrior Golaf as he slew the Moranka Beast. We reserve this title for our wisest of warriors! You Robin, are truly a Dick among Dicks!"
"Um, thanks Star."
"WHEW," Cyborg had finally stopped laughing, "It's not going to get any better than this. I suggest we take Di- Robin's advice and hit the hay."
"But-" Beast Boy was silenced as Cyborg grabbed him and dragged him to the stairs.
"Yes, I too shall retire to a night of pleasant dreams!" Starfire leaned in close and smiled sweetly, "Goodnight Dick."
"Goodnight Starfire," Robin sighed.
-----
Upstairs, Beast Boy and Cyborg walked to their rooms.
"Hey, Cy, how do you think Robin got the name Dick?"
"What do you think?"
"Well," Beast Boy leaned against the wall, thinking, "When you say to someone, 'You're being a dick,' it means that they're a jerk, right? So I'm gonna say Robin is an arrogant jerk... sometimes."
Cyborg laughed loudly.
"What?"
"Come on man, you know how he got the name. I mean, the dude wears tights."
"What? Ewww."
"Just sayin."
"Well, he's got nothin' on me."
"Yeah, if you turn into a horse."
"Shut up! Like you can talk! Last time I checked you aren't wearing any pants."
"That's low BB. Really. But enough. I need to recharge."
Beast Boy was almost in his room when Cyborg stuck his head out.
"Hey Beast Boy! Remember that project I was working on yesterday?"
"Yeah..."
"Well, let's just say it wasn't a prototype ion cannon like I told you it was. Goodnight!"
His door slammed shut. Beast Boy was left standing alone in the hallway, silent and wide-eyed.
-----
In her room in Starfire lay snuggled up in her bed, humming the chorus line from the epic poem of the mighty warrior Golaf and Vernat the Dick.
-----
Robin groaned loudly. "How long do you think it'll last? He finished washing the dish and handed it to Raven to dry.
"I'd give it three weeks, unless you make a big deal out of it."
"I'll try not to."
For a moment they worked in silence.
"Aren't we the responsible ones," mumbled Raven, "It's gotta be someone else's turn."
"Well, Cyborg had to put Beast Boy to bed. That's like ten chores right there. And I really didn't feel like talking to Star right now."
"Do I need to talk to her?"
Robin stopped working, and leaned back against the counter. "No I'll do it. I guess we can't let her go around complimenting people by calling them dicks. Still, it feels nice to know if I ever end up living on Tameria-"
"Robin, if you can talk and wash dishes at the same time, do it. Otherwise, shut up."
He stuck his tongue out at her playfully but returned to the task.
A few minutes later he looked over at her. "What are you smiling at?"
"Me? I'm not smiling," said Raven.
"Fine. Smirking then, what are you smirking at?"
Now Raven stopped working and looked at him. "Why Dick?" she asked, "Why not Rich, or Richard sounds good, or even just Gray or Grayson? I like just Gray, personally"
"You do know more than you pretended to!"
"Tough. Are you going to answer me or is this another mystery?"
Robin leaned against the counter again, but this time allowed himself to slide down onto the floor.
"I didn't ask for your life story," said Raven.
"Well, it takes a little while to explain so one can understand. It's what you'd call a 'Billionaire thing...'"