Evil Monkey's First Cliché
(A/N: This is only the beginning to my first ever idiotic fic, and it's not SUPPOSED to have a plot. So if you hate clichés, please hit the back button on your browser before I get spammed.) PROLOGUE:
A hushed silence fell over the court. I stood at the podium with my hands cuffed behind my back. The first juryman rose.
"DO YOU HAVE A VERDICT?" Judge boomed.
"Yes. The defendant is : Guilty on all charges." He looked at me.
"Your sentence: Reincarnation as a fan fiction author." I started to scream, but he cut me off:
"Your first story: SELF INSERTION."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
BANG! The Judge's mallet came down.
Ax and the other Animorphs stared up in horror at the ceiling.
"Moo!" A cow flew by and landed on the roof of Cassie's barn.
"Aaaaaaah!" Cassie shreiked. An evil laugh came out of nowhere.
MUHOOOHOOHOOHAHAAAAAAAA!!!
A ferocious wind starting blowing, and Marco was flung up toward the ceiling, and was now hanging from a rafter to stay put. Cassie had locked herself in a cage and was whimpering.
"OH NO! NOOOO!" Marco screamed.
"WHAT IS IT?" we all asked.
"It's a fan fic author!!!!!"
THAT'S RIGHT, MARCO. ANIMORPHS, I'M HOOOME..... AND YOU WANT TO KNOW THE WORST PART?
"Not really," Jake gulped.
THIS IS MY FIRST FIC! MUHOOOHOOHOOHAHAAAAAAAA!!!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Homer screamed. He peed on the floor.
"Jake! Bring me hooome!" A dog fit to his name. All of a sudden Rachel keeled over and threw up.
"What are you doing to us?!" Cassie demanded.
HAVING FUN!
< Rachel, I don't know if this is the time to mention it, but you REALLY need to chew your food better! > Tobias added.
Evil Monkey pointed its magic wand and Starseeker popped out of thin air. Immeaditely catching on that she was in a fan fic with a tornado heading straight towards the barn, she shrieked and jumped into a pile of manure, which suddenly turns into a Lerdethak.
"Aaaaaah!" She screamed as the Lerdethak ate her with a side of eggs (sunny side up, they HAVE to be sunny side up!) for breakfast. *Lerdethak looks up at Evil Monkey and smiles.*
"BURP! Thankyou."
Now that she was gone, the tornado dissapeared.
"STOP it!" Cassie cried, unlocking herself from the cage.
AND JUST WHY SHOULD I?! MUHOOOHOOHOOHAHAAAAAAAA!!!
"Because! What did we ever do to you?"
THAT'S NOT THE QUESTION. THE QUESTION IS: WHAT AM I GOING TO DO TO YOU? MUHOOOHOOHOOHAHAAAAAAAA!!!
"IS it just me or is this guy obsessed with that evil laugh?"
THAT'S WHY THEY CALL ME EVIL MONKEY. *Poof!*
Whoooaaaaar! Wahr! Reeeeeeeeeek! A thousand flying monkeys flew down from the rafters of Cassie's barn. Scared, Homer tries to run away and turns into a potato.
"Hey!" one of the monkeys said. "That potato looks kind of like Joe Peshi!"
"I do not!" the potato cried.
WHY YOU LITle. . . Hey! I'm losing my powers!!
WHAt's gOinG On!!!!???
Perhaps I can explain. Tobiasrulz popped out of nowhere.*
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!" the potato cried.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!" I agreed. "Where did you come from ? This is MY FIC! HEY, I GOT MY POWERS BA... oops, spoke too soon.
Here. Tobiasrulz handed Evil Monkey a Pixie Stik.
< A Pixie Stik? > Ax wondered. < Is their a symbolic or religious meaning to this? > Evil Monkey gobbled the Pixie Stik.
BURP!
It is working.
All of the sudden, the monkeys started doing the Hokey Pokey, and they all turned themselves around. After all, that's what it's all about!
"Why is my dog a potato?" Jake wondered.
LACK OF CREATIVITY. Evil Monkey, with powers restored, replied.
"I have an idea!" Marco exclaimed.
"Beginners' luck," Rachel commented.
OH, WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP BEFORE I TURN YOU INTO MONKEYS?
"We both already have chimpanzee morphs," Marco answered.
EVER HEARD OF A NOTHLIT? EVER HEARD OF -- OH SH!
All of the sudden, Andalite Girl falls down from the rafters in Cassie's barn and lands on top of Jake.
"Ooof!"
"Oh, shut up!" she snapped. "I'm not that heavy." Marco smiled. Suddenly, Rachel (for no apparent reason) lunged and starting throttling Andalite Girl.
"YOU!" she cried. "YOU got me pregnant with my own FREAKING COUSIN!"
"Hey!" Jake said, still sprawled on the floor.
"No offense."
Rachel let go of Andalite Girl and threw her on the ground. Andalite Girl breathed a sigh of relief just before Rachel kicked her in the ribs, turning her into a potato. (a/n: see a pattern?)
"Hey!" one of the monkeys stopped doing the Hokey Pokey and turning himself around. "That potato looks kind of like Cher!" (a/n: I couldn't help it! Don't lock me up!)
"I will KILL you!" the potato threatened. "With my tail!" FWAPP! A potato spud shot right out of the potato at the monkey's eye, forever blinding the monkey and leaving a large hole in the potato.