Everything was sharp that night. The silver light from the half moon, sitting a few degrees above the mountains, cut trapezoids across the ground between the tall, straight pines, and shone in splinters on the dark expanses where the lake hadn't frozen yet. The air stabbed like knives through the small gaps in their clothes, burning where it touched. All was still. All was quiet. On the next rise, Hogwarts seemed no more real than a painting, a few windows glowing yellow, dark towers cutting across the stringy white clouds that caught the moonlight behind it.
Peter and James had declared the night too cold only yards outside the door and left to seek the warmth of the common room. Sirius, however, had still wanted to wander and Remus had followed, secretly thrilled at the chance to be alone with Sirius and secretly clenching his jaw to keep his teeth from chattering. Now Sirius was standing, wobbling, at the crest of a boulder, looking out across the icy water. Remus leaned against a tree, curled forward to conserve warmth, with his hands buried deep in his robes.
He watched Sirius from under his lashes. The moonlight caught along the curve of his throat when he threw his head back and laughed, and it seemed the sound must be carrying for miles. There was nothing to challenge it, no night creatures making sounds, no breeze rustling the pine needles.
"Beautiful night, isn't it?" Sirius shouted.
Remus smiled, knowing he was saying it partly just to hear his own voice, so loud against such a vast stillness.
"'Too cold,' the pansies," Sirius added, then jumped down off the rock. He landed with a huff of breath that rose around his face in a thick white cloud that quickly trailed off to nothing. "Awfully quiet, Mooney."
Remus smiled again, and stepped away from the tree, getting a clearer view of the castle. "Just thinking," he said. "And looking."
"You know," Sirius said, sweeping towards him and scooping him close with one arm around his shoulders. He murmured his pearl of wisdom into Remus's ear, his breath chilly against Remus's cold-burned cheek. Something leapt inside Remus. "You should take care. Too much thinking rots the mind."
"Oh, so that's what happened to you?" Remus said, fighting back the grin of triumph at being the one with a retort for once.
Sirius staggered back, taking his warmth with him. He was a dark shape moving against motionless forms. "Oh, you wound me!" he cried, clutching his chest.
"I think you'll live," Remus said drily. His heart prickled with affection.
Sirius dropped to the ground with a whumph of unsettled pine needles. "No," he said, his voice growing weaker, "No, I think that's done it." He swooned dramatically, his arms flopping every which way.
Remus rolled his eyes and felt his lower lip crack as his smile stretched his stiff cheeks. He tugged his hands out of the warm cocoon of his robes and crossed over to Sirius, there to grab his hand when he reached up to be pulled to his feet again. Sirius's hand was cold as ice.
"Oh, warm," Sirius said.
He clutched Remus's hand between both of his own, and Remus squeaked in indignation at the chill and jerked his hand back, trying and failing to escape Sirius's cold grasp. "Hey, its warm because I had the sense to keep my hands in my pockets! Leggo."
"Oh, ok then," Sirius said, and suddenly he was close, very close, leaving not more than inches between them. And he was shoving his hands into Remus's pockets.
"Hey!" Remus yelped, trying to pull back, but Sirius just stepped closer, and pushed his hands in deeper, wrapping both around Remus's sides through the fabric. The cold bled through, but those strong fingers curled around his ribs seemed to summon warmth from inside him, and he felt himself flush. His cheeks burned as blood rushed to cool skin. He was breathing faster, and his heart was pounding. Sirius's face, half-lit by moonlight, was close enough that a few stray locks of his hair tickled Remus's cheek as he looked down at where his hands vanished into Remus's cloaks.
"Oh, yeah," Sirius said, his voice cracking on the 'yeah', "That is better."
Remus's own hands were out to his sides, hovering away from the whole situation, because they hadn't a clue what to do.
"Er," he said.
Then Sirius looked up, and even in the dark, Remus could see his eyes. Remus's tongue stuck to his teeth in his suddenly-dry mouth. And then he let his arms relax, just a bit. As if by accident, his hands came to rest just below Sirius's elbows. Remus could feel tensed muscles under rough woolen fabric. He could feel himself breathing. Their white breath clouds were mingling.
Sirius swayed, just a bit, a small foray towards him, but stopped, and Remus knew he'd been about to kiss him, knew he hadn't yet found the nerve, and wished desperately that he had it, but he didn't, of course, never had, but then it didn't matter, because Sirius's eyes were closing and his head was tilting and his body was falling forward and then Remus's eyes were closed and then cold, dry lips were pressing against his own and something sharp stabbed up his spine and he was kissing Sirius. For a moment, they just stayed that way, lips touching, then Sirius shifted a bit, and opened his lips, and his tongue was warm and wet and lightly moving.
Remus felt his shoulders shivering as he nudged his own tongue out, and let the tip touch Sirius's. So this was kissing, he thought, as he breathed crystal-sharp air through flared nostrils. Sirius's hands pushed a little deeper into his robes, so his fingers nearly met behind Remus's back. Sirius had kissed people before. Lots, by his account.
Their tongues moved against each other, but the rest of their bodies were still, very still, but for the hammering of Remus's heart. Was he doing it right? It felt good. Merlin knew, it felt amazing, so he must be, right?
He felt a rush of Sirius's breath across his upper lip, then Sirius opened his mouth more and pushed his tongue between Remus's lips, pushing Remus's own out of the way, trailing along the ridge of Remus's front teeth. Remus moaned, and Sirius's fingers curled, clawing his back.
Then it was over, Sirius moved away, and the night air blazed on the dampness he left behind. Remus's eyes stuck a bit when he opened them. He could feel Sirius shaking, and feel himself shaking, and the cold was now too hard to ignore, pushing down into their bones.
Sirius's eyes were darker than the sky around them, and they hadn't moved from Remus's yet.
Remus opened his mouth, shut it, then opened it again, and said, "We should get back."
Sirius blinked for the first time in a long time, and said, "Yeah."
They didn't touch or speak on the walk back. Once, their elbows brushed and they both jolted but continued walking. In the castle, they went their separate ways, Sirius down to the kitchens, Remus up to the baths to warm up.
As he sat in the warm water, his mind kept replaying the kiss. His heart hadn't quite stopped racing, but he only let himself touch himself enough to wash. This thing was too new and delicate to face quite so directly, like one of the shiny soap bubbles floating in the air, too fragile to be touched.
Remus was in his bed, reading, when Sirius reappeared, already dressed for bed. James, who was sitting on the end of his own bed, working out some divination assignment, greeted him with a "So you didn't freeze to death," which lead to Sirius insulting James' manliness, which of course led to the two of them battling their way around the room before both of them declared victory and James went back to his homework and Sirius headed for his bed. Sirius said nothing to Remus, who had watched all this with patient amusement, but when their eyes met for a moment, his lips turned up in a private, quiet smile and Remus's heart soared.