Why is it me who has to save her. I shouldn't be the one to protect her. I'm a demon. A thing. Souless and evil. Not for her. Not to save her. But that's what I promised. I'm counting on you Spike, you need to take care of her. I agreed to it. Promised the blonde slayer I would protect the Nibblet. Now that I have her to protect I'm afraid I won't do it right. Afraid I'll bruse and break her like always. All you can do is make them bleed William. I know that know I can only bruse them only break them make them scream. Oh but I am good at making them scream. Can't make the Nibblet scream though that would be wrong, and oh how wrong it would be. She hurts so badly. Why did Buffy jump instead of her. Buffy let the Nibblet live so I could have her. She jumped into the purple electricity she saved the Nibblet. She knew no one else could have her no one but me. Knows I'm all wrong but all right for the girl. But all I can do is make them scream.
She's losing so much blood. I lay her on the bed in my crypt. The blood keeps flowing. STOP! Why wont it stop. I have to make it stop have to heal the wounds. I take of my sweeper and toss it to the floor. I rip the middle of her purple dress. I need to stop the bleeding. I lick clean the wounds in her stomouch. Careful not to take too much blood, just the blood thats already let loose. I clean her up right and proper like a good boy. Don't take more than I should. Don't touch more than I have to. But the dress is so torn, so torn. Almost no clothing left. She's almost completely naked. No Spike. Bad boy. Can't think like that not now. Damn you really are sick. She looks all right now. Not as much blood loss as I thought there was. Crazy God bitch had them slice my baby. Not for them to touch. Buffy gave her to me she's mine. Don't touch though Spike, you can't break her. Not this one. Can't make her scream. Not right.
I walk away. I can't take her to the hospitole. Theyll just get suspicous. Ask why's she's so cut. They would believe it if I said the wounds were self inflicted. Because she's been there before. She's taken a knife to her wrists. Had to, had to bleed. I can make her bleed. But I can't do that can't watch them touch her. Watch them lecture her. No they can't touch her can't have her. She's mine. All mine. I need to be careful. Not to wake her. She can't wake yet needs some times to rest her eyes. Needs to relax. I observe her sleeping figure. She's an angel. But Spike doesn't know how to heal Angels. Demons and Angels never play together. That's like asking God to be best pals with the devil. But she plays with me. Always has. Why does this angel want to be my friend? What makes me so lucky?
Her body moves as she sleeps. She let's out a week moan and I wan't it to be caused by me. Want to hear her scream my name. Why? I was never like this before. But she is mine. Slayer gave her to me. Why am I so fixated on her body in front of me. I am siting on the bed next to her. Why do I want to be on top of her so badly. She's the Nibblet the slayers sister. Not meant for dirty thoughts. Purity is what she is. Innoscence. But God do I want to hear her scream. So loud the ground beneath us shakes. Spike stop thinking like that. I slap my forhead. I am such a fool. To think of the Nibblet this way. She's not her sister. No nothing like her really. They all think she is but she's different. Her sister was made from darkness. Dawn was made from light. But something about her is always searching for the dark. Searching, and finding me. I want her, want my scent all over her. Want it so they all know she's mine. Haven't had anything belong to me in while. Haven't really ever had anything belong to me.
She's healing I see it. My girl healing. Why so fast almost like the slayer heals. Maybe her body has grown use to the cuts like this. Use to being the bait always. Use to them taking her away. Using her. I would never use her. Always mine. Can't use her, not the Nibblet. Cause I am useless. She's not, she's perfect. God Buffy. Why did you leave me her. Leave her to me. You didn't deserve her either slayer. Didn't deserve to have her. That's why you gave her to me. But I don't deserve her either. Slayer you deserved more than me. All I can teach her is things she should never learn. No one here deserves such an angel. Who could ever really deserve to own such pretty things. Not you Spike you can only break the pretty things wings off. Shut up Drue! I wont hurt her wont break her. Can't. Want to. So badly. She's so perfect. She's driving me bloody insane. Why? This is her sisters job, to make me crazy. Not the Nibblet. Just a kid. Not even fifteen. Oh but she doesn't look so young. She looks older than her sister. Why has she replaced the slayer. When did this happen? When is it that she became the object of my- need to stop thinking like this. Need to stop wanting my sweet bit this way. I love the slayer. Always have. Right? No not true never did love her. Never did. Always taking care of her sister. Never knowing she's the one I wanted. Craved. I throw on my sweeper and pace around the room. Nervous. For her? For me?
"Buffy." She calls to her sister. Why the bloody hell is it her sister? I saved her. Her sister is gone. My name's the only one I wan't to hear cross her lips. She want's her sister now. The one who use to have her. But she's mine now. Nibblet has to be owned by someone. She doesn't know how to live without being someones. Belonging. But she doesn't belong. Never did. Just like me. But I can take her, own her. She would make a nice pet. My pet.
"Nibblet, you OK?" I move closer to her. She is OK wounds are almost all healed. Almost just scars. She'll be fine. Be mine. And I won't let them take her. Wont let them have her. Make her forget their names. Forget them so it's only us. Only me. Only her.
"Spike?" She whispers, neediness filling her voice. Does she know what that does to me? Knows it kills me. The way she says my name. She's never said it this way. Always careful not to temp me. This time she's begging for it. I move away can't be so close when her voice is so tempting. "Don't leave." She pleads reaching out her week hands to me. She can't open her eyes. Can't open them hurts too much. She's too week.
"I'm here Dawn." And I know what it does to her when I say her name like that. I know how it drives her crazy. Know how to make her want me. Make her beg. That's what she's doing now isn't it. Begging. For me. For once someone is begging for me. Why her? Never her. She's just the Nibblet. Had a big crush on Xander, not me.
She never wanted this before. Did she. I know she isn't as innoscent as she pretends to be. But not as bad as she want's to be. She's a good girl. But always doing what she's told. Just to please. She aims to please. But she'll do the wrong thing if she's told. Just to please. She doesn't need to be someones plaything. She needs to be taken care of. Needs love. I can give her that. Can take care of her. Her sister never could. Always to busy barking orders at her. I can take care of her. The way she deserves to be taken care of. To be loved. To be treaured. Angels need to be protected. Should be on a pedistol. But I want her in my arms. She would like that better. To be used to be played with. In my arms. In. My. Arms.
"Touch me." She beggs. What. What is she asking me. Why? Touch her. I can't, shouldn't. She's asking me to do too much. What I want. She knows if I do I can't stop. Wont stop. Need to stop. But.Wont.Stop.
"Huh?" I ask confused. Studdering over my words. She never use to make me studder. Buffy never even made me studder. Always know what to say. I'm smooth. Not with her. I'm a bloody mess. A wreck. Wanting her. Craving her. Needing her.
"Please, Spike. I can't be alone." She shivers. Of course she shivers, she's barely wearing anything. Dress is all torn and tathered. "I'm scared, I'll fall." Fall? Into the purple electrictity her sister jumped into. She's afraid of falling. I'll hold her. That's what I should do right? Hold her. Help her. Heal her.
I walk over to her. Nervous. Why so bloody nervous? Rip off the wings Willy. Drue just get the hell outta me head you stupid bint. I sit beside her and put my hand on her thigh where she actually still has some of the purple dress untorn. Why touch there? Cause I have to play good. Have to try to be good. She can't be alone. Needs to feel like someones here. Needs to feel someone. I can play good. Can't touch too much. Can't take too much. Want To. But can't. Shouldn't. Need to.
"No." She whispers. "Hold me Spike." She pleads. Can I do that. Can I hold her without breaking her. Without taking her. No, Stop it Spike. She needs me. Needs me to help her. I can't be selfish. I need to take care of her like I promised. Need to hold her like she needs. She deserves that. Deserves whatever she asks for. Whatever she wants. Even if it's wrong, she deserves it. Deserves all of it. Everything. And nothing.
She moves her body over weekly making room for me. She tries to open her eyes, but she's too week. Barely enough strength to move. I do as she want's. I don't know why but I do. Maybe because it's what I want to. To hold her. But I want to break her. She doesn't want to be broken. A wild horse. Doesn't want me to break her. I have to. I lay down on the bed next to her and wrap my arms around her. She leanes her body onto mine. What is she doing? She's too close. Touching. Her entire body almost on top of mine. Up against mine. She knows what she's doing. Doesn't she? Can't she know she's tempting a demon. More than tempting me she's begging. Her leg moves in between mine. What is she doing.
"Cold." She whispers as she shivers. A faint smile on her face. She likes this. She wants this. I want this. So confused. I can't tell who wants this. I know I do. But does she? Or is she really just innoscent. No she knows what she's doing. But she's cold. Have to warm her. I wrap my sweeper around her as she settles her body into my chest. Were so close I can't tell where I end and where she begins. That's the way she wants it. Little pet begging for the darkness. Wants darkness wrapped around her. I'll wrap around her. I am darkness. What she wants. To be bathed in it. How come she's not crying. Not crying for Buffy. Knows she's dead can't forgett that. Remembers it's her fault. Knows it's my fault. Our fault. Murdered together. Never the same once you murder. Why is she all right with this. Knows that if Buffy's dead she's free. She's mine and she knows it. Knows when buffys gone she can let the poisen in. I'm poisen. Buffy's the antidote. Always had been. Keeping Dawn away from me. For her sake. Now she's given her to me. Letting me poisen her. Dawn want's the poisen. Wants me. Likes the pain it will cause. Likes me on top of her. Wants me inside her. Dirty little thing she is. Wants me to make her scream. Wants me to take her. She likes how wrong it feels. Likes how everyone will think she's sick. Everyone will be ashamed, descusted. She likes it. Only wants me. And I want her. Dawn knows their all going to think she's worthless. All going to hate her. She wants that. Wants to be with me. If she makes them hate her then she can have me. Have what she wants. What we both want. Each other. Were so close that her hand on my chest is my hand. I can't feel the difference between us. And I don't want to. Just want her. Want to take her. Break her. Make her scream. Harder. And I will.