Notes: I wrote this back on New Year's Eve in response to an ask I received on Tumblr, and I've decided to upload it onto FF.N now, since I'm still rather fond of it.
And the Hourglass Empties
Jounouchi Katsuya is the person Mutou Yuugi loves most in the world—the person he wants by his side from now until forever, the most precious person alive to him.
He told Jounouchi as much before the anchor dragged them both beneath the surface of the ocean, but he isn't sure if Jounouchi understood just what he meant by that, if Jounouchi realized that Yuugi's feelings run romantic, or if Jounouchi feels the same way. There was no time to talk about it in the aftermath, when they were both pulled up from the water, salt in their mouths and seawater making their clothes feel five times heavier. There was no time to talk about it once they boarded the blimp and changed into dry clothes, as they watched the lottery numbers cast around to decide who would duel whom, as they watched each of their friends fall in turn. When Jounouchi is struck by lightning, Yuugi feels his heart in his throat (metaphorically speaking, as his other self has control of his body just then), and thinks that he should have said something, that he should have found time to clarify what he meant, to ask Jounouchi how he was feeling (in general, too, after all that happened, because he's not so sure he believes that Jounouchi is okay now, that he believes that Jounouchi bounced back just that quickly, but Jounouchi is good at both bouncing back and pretending to have bounced back, so it can be hard to tell sometimes), but he didn't and now Jounouchi is unconscious and Isono is shouting at Honda to step back and not climb up onto the dueling platform after him.
But then Jounouchi—looking dazed, blinking slowly, as if he's still unconscious even as he pushes himself to his feet—stands up, and Yuugi breathes easy. Jounouchi is fine. He's dazed and confused and his hair is a little singed, but he's fine. He smells a little like an electrical fire, too, when Yuugi walks alongside him in the hallway of the blimp, but he's fine, and Yuugi thinks that, well, there will be time to talk to him later. At the moment, Rishid has been moved to the infirmary and Mai is set to duel Malik—the real Malik, they know now—and there is no time to talk about things.
Mai loses her Shadow Game, Yuugi's other self takes a hit that was meant for Jounouchi that was actually meant for Mai, Kaiba defeats Isis and they move on to the Alcatraz Tower, and still there is no time to talk even though there should have been. They could have talked the night before, Yuugi thinks, but they were all so tired and so much happened, and it's a bit disorienting to think about how it's only been a day or so since they were at the docks, handcuffs latched around their wrists, Malik twisting Jounouchi's words and grin, making his eyes look somehow darker and more dead. That night, as he lays in bed, Yuugi can still taste the salt in his mouth from the seawater he had choked on, and he thinks that, when this is all over, he will talk to Jounouchi about what happened—what he said and what he meant. When they have time to themselves, time to breathe, he'll talk to him about it.
He thought he had time, anyway. He didn't.
Jounouchi duels Malik, and it's a Shadow Game and he loses even though he should have won. He should have won, he should have won, and Yuugi wants to scream this to the heavens, wants to scream this to any deity or demon or ancient spirit that will listen that this isn't fair, this isn't fair because Jounouchi won, he won, he won his Shadow Game, he won the duel, he WON!
But he didn't. He would have, had Gierfried's attack landed, but it didn't because Jounouchi fell, his body curving in a graceful arc before he collapsed upon the steel flooring of the tower's roof. Yuugi doesn't know if Jounouchi stopped breathing before or after he landed face down on the tower, but he also knows that it doesn't matter, because he stopped breathing and his heart stopped beating, and Yuugi knows that if he takes back control from his other self now he won't be able to stop screaming or crying long enough to focus on anything, so he doesn't.
A day ago they were on the pier, and Yuugi confessed his feelings and they both almost drowned, but they survived. Jounouchi was struck by lightning spawned by the fake god card, but against the odds he made it to his feet even when Rishid did not. And now he has lost his Shadow Game, now he has been killed by the Sun God Ra, and a part of Yuugi that he knows is hysteria almost wants to laugh, because Jounouchi Katsuya survived so much that it's almost like the universe knew it needed an actual god to kill him, because nothing else could.
But he's dead, he died and maybe—maybe it's not real, maybe his very first instinct was correct and it's not real, it isn't, and Jounouchi can still be saved, even as the doctor says there isn't anything he can do and Honda shouts at him and Shizuka sobs at Jounouchi's bedside. Maybe he'll wake up, and there will be light and life in his eyes and laughter and thrill in his voice, and Yuugi's favorite devilish grin on his lips. Maybe none of this is real, maybe it's a horrible, horrifying nightmare caused by stress and Shadow Games and not enough sleep.
But maybe, more than anything, Yuugi shouldn't have told himself he had more time when everything else made sure to tell him that he didn't.