The Twelve Days Of Chrono

Erik: Hello all you Chrono Trigger fans out there! This is your author, Erik, live from... looks around the barren snow fields ...what looks like Christmas Eve, 12,000 BC, but that's not why we're here, is it? It seems the Chrono Trigger gang has decided to have their Christmas festivities at Crono's house, circa 1000 AD, so... snaps fingers and transports to Crono's house Pays to be the author...

Frog: hops up to Erik Erik! Why haven't I been turnedeth back into mine human form?!

Erik: Because I like you better this way.

Frog: But I—

Erik: Okay, how 'bout a little caroling to brighten the Christmas cheer?!

Magus: Lemme guess... "The Twelve Days of Christmas... Chrono Trigger Style?"

Erik: Uhm... How'd you know?

Lucca: We saw the title.

Erik: looks up to the top of the page Damn, you're right. Anywho, that's what we've got for ya'!

Crono: ...

Erik: Yes, Crono, you have to sing.

Crono: ...

Erik: Don't give me that crap, Crono! I'm the author, dammit!

Crono: ...

Erik: That's it! takes Crono's voice away

Marle: Can we get this over with already?!

Erik: Okay, okay... Ahem... Magus, you mind doing the honors?

Magus: Bite me.

Erik: I'd rather not. I dunno where you've been. NOW SING!

Magus: sighs Okay, fine... takes a deep breath and—

Erik: On the first day of Christmas, Sir Magus gave to me!

Magus: bloodlust in his eyes at Erik A Doom Sickle right in the back.

Erik: On the second day of Christmas, Sir Froggy gave to me!

Frog: Two giant warts!

Magus: And a Doom Sickle right in the back.

Frog: Hey! Why doth I haveth to give giant warts?

Erik: Because you're a frog.

Robo: Isn't that just an old wives' tale?

Erik: Now while I'm typing, now let's get on with it!

Frog and Magus: stares at Erik

Erik: On the third day of Christmas, Miss Ayla gave to me!

Ayla: Three Reptite corpses!

Frog: silent

Erik: hits Frog

Frog: ...two giant warts...

Magus: And a Doom Sickle right in the back!

Erik: whispers to Frog I hear Frog A La Mode is a delicacy in Medina Village.

Frog: gulp

Erik: On the fourth day of Christmas, Miss Lucca gave to me!

Lucca: Four Taban Helms.

Ayla: Three Reptite corpses.

Frog: Two giant warts.

Magus: And a Doom Sickle right in the back.

Erik: gives Crono his voice back On the fifth day of Christmas, Sir Crono gave to me!

Crono: ...

Erik: Sing it! SING!

Crono: quietly Five Wings of Time.

Lucca: Four Taban Helms. Hey! Only I can use those!

Ayla: Three Reptite corpses.

Frog: Two giant— dies

Magus: pulls his Doom Sickle out of Frog's back And a Doom Sickle right in the back. looks away from Frog innocently(if that's possible)

Erik: MAGUS! You're supposed to aim at the head! I MEAN... Uhm... Bad, bad Magus!

Magus: Oops... Damn... I should've aimed at you...

Marle: Life 2!

Frog: revives W-what happenedeth?

Erik: Nothing, Frog. sticks his tongue out at Magus and continues On the sixth day of Christmas, Miss Marle gave to me!

Marle: This bites! This gift has nothing to do with me! Plus, it's stupid!

Erik: And Crono giving five Wings of Time makes sense to you?

Marle: Fine, fine already... Six Nus a-moping.

Crono: Five Wings of Time.

Lucca: Four Taban Helms that only I use.

Ayla: Three Reptite corpses.

Frog: Two giant warts.

Magus: swings his Doom Sickle at Erik, but misses because of Erik's omnipotent author powers Damn!

Erik: shoots a glare at Magus Come on! We're halfway through!

Lucca: Actually, the song's verses increase in length exponentially as time passes, so really—

Erik: On the seventh day of Christmas, Melchior gave to me!

Everyone: looks around, but Melchior is absent

Erik: sighs, snaps his fingers

Melchior: Seven swords a-swinging!

Marle: Six Nus a-moping.

Crono: Five Wings of Time.

Lucca: Can't we skip to the end?

Ayla: eating Reptite corpses Yum! Taste like chicken!

Frog: spots the blood on his clothes Magus! Did thou kill me?!

Magus: So what if I did? What're you gonna do about it, Sir Froggy?

Erik: wonders how Ayla knows what chicken tastes like

Frog: I'll show you what I'll do! runs up to Magus and rubs his hand all over his face

Magus: Ahhh! What the hell're you doing?! two giant warts appear on Magus's forehead

Erik: Wow... And here I was thinking that was an old wives' tale...

Magus: You damn frog! attacks Frog with his scythe

Frog: jumps like... well, a frog, and Magus misses

Erik: lets Frog and Magus duke it out and skips to the ending On the twelfth day of Christmas, old Lavos gave to me!

Lavos: Twelve worlds a-dying!

Robo: Eleven robots shooting.

Crono's mom: Ten cats a-running.

Kino: Nine clubs a-banging!

Spekkio(Kilwala form): Eight magics casting!

Melchior: Seven swords a-swinging!

Marle: Six Nus a-moping.

Crono: Five Wings of Time.

Lucca: Four Taban Helms.

Ayla: Three Reptite corpses.

Frog: is in the corner, Magus about to strike the killing blow Two giant warts! HELP! Doth anyone offer thy assistance?!

Magus: smiling evilly And a Doom Sickle right in—

Frog: WHAT! points behind Magus 'Tis LAVOS!

Magus: What kind of fool do—

Lavos: throws Magus through the wall

Everyone: AHHHH! LAVOS! everyone except Crono's mom, Spekkio, Magus(recovering from being thrown through the wall)kill Lavos

Lavos: Damn, again... dies

Magus: Two giant warts and being thrown through a wall. What did I do to deserve this!?

Erik: ignores Magus All together!

Everyone(except for the dead Lavos and an annoyed Magus): And a Doom Sickle right in the back! Merry Christmas!

Magus: Okay, I'm done with this! flies to the door, and opens it What the hell's this?!

Crono: Huh?

Lucca: It's...

Ayla: Ayla see...

Erik: looks out the door to a sunny summer day Oops... This is July! laughs nervously as everyone in the room stares at Erik, ready for the kill

THE END

Uhm... I finished this just before six o'clock in the morning. I came up with it while I was tossing and turning in bed about an hour before. At first, the only thing I was sure about was "And a Doom Sickle right in the back," but as you can see, I kinda got carried away. This is kinda my first finished Chrono Trigger fiction. I have another one that I started before this that's in progress about how Crono and Lucca met, and it'll be of a more serious nature, so feel free to read and review it if/when I post it. Until then... Merry Christmas!