First fanfic ever so bare with me!! THANKS Megz07
Chapter 1 – Lives on their own
BPOV
I never thought this day would come. James and I are actually getting married. This is by far the happiest day of my life. I knew as soon as I met him that he would be my life and joy and now today at 5 O'clock, OMG 2 HOURS we will be married and I can officially call myself Mrs. James O'Donal. My hair was already finished by my best friends Sam and Rebecca and Rebecca was just finishing up my makeup. Sam is 24 and already married to James' best friend Charles and Rebecca is engaged to their other best friend John. We are all one big happy family.
I have been dating James for over a year now and we thought the next step was marriage. The proposal was so romantic there was no way for me to say no to him. He did it at our favourite little restaurant Italian Chica. We had our special reserved booth near the back corner so it was private. We had ordered desert, he ordered the chocolate cake and I ordered the strawberry cheesecake. When the deserts came out his was the chocolate cake like he ordered but mine was a little fortune cookie. I did not understand at all. He told me to open it up and see what the message inside was. I did so and on the little piece of paper WILL YOU MARRY ME was written. I began to cry tears of happiness right away and just kept saying yes over and over to him. It was so romantic. I could not believe that, that day was 3 months ago and here I am in my wedding dress ready to be married to the man I love. Nothing could go wrong.
Rebecca had finally finished my makeup and it looked great. I couldn't thank her enough. Sam had begun to cry because she was so happy for me and I kept telling her to stop or she would ruin her makeup. She immediately stopped and it made me laugh. When my father Charlie came into the room and told me that we were ready to start, I started to panic. The girls calmed me down and explained everything would be alright.
"I am so happy for you Bella, I can't believe you guys are finally getting married!"
"I know it feels like this day took forever to finally come! I am just so happy that I am with the love of my life."
"Bella are you ready to go? We have to start." Charlie shouted from outside the door. The girls gave me one last hug and told me I was ready for this. I believed them completely because they were my best friends. I walked out the door and wrapped my arm around Charlie's and headed towards the isle.
Charlie kept saying how proud he was that I was all grown up and getting married. He kept mentioning the ideas of having grandchildren soon and that freaked me out. My hands began to sweat and I started to have doubts. He kept talking about all the adventures I would have with my new husband and the word scared me. I could not do this. Finally when reaching the isle and seeing James standing at the end with all of our friends I knew for sure that I could not do this. How could I just realize out of nowhere that this was the wrong choice for me?
I thought back to when I was in high school with my best friends Alice and Rose. We were an unstoppable trio and no one could stand in our way. Emmet, Jasper and Edward were always around adding in mischief and fun as well. I remembered Edward like it was yesterday that I saw him. I missed him and the rest of my friends so much and still could not believe that I chose to go to a different university as them. I knew we would lose contact, I just didn't realize it would happen so quickly. I missed Edward. His hugs, his comfort, his friendship. I loved him, as a friend and I'm almost positive as more. I could never understand why i never acted on my feelings. I knew this was why I could not marry James today. He was not the love of my life. He was a distraction. How could I not have seen this before?
We were at the end of the isle and I was met by James. My father smiled as he let go of my arm and James replaced him. I faked a smile and looked around the room. The minister started but I was not paying attention. I could not keep my mind of Edward. The way his bronze hair moved in the wind or how his green eyes distracted me from any problems I had. I decided I needed to listen to the minister, this was my wedding day and I needed to find away to stop it. Just then I remembered something Edward told me before we went our separate ways to college. "Listen to your heart, it always knows what is right." I knew that I had to say something.
"I am so sorry but could we please stop the ceremony" I said quietly to the minister and James. James looked at me nervously.
"What is it Bella, is something wrong? Can't this wait" He was saying so quietly hoping no one in the audience could hear. "No it can't" I replied with confidence. "I can't do this James. It just wasn't ment to be. I thought you were the love of my life. The ONE. But you aren't I don't know who is anymore but I do know that I cannot marry you today. Or any day. You deserve someone so much better who loves you with all of their heart. And does not have doubts on their wedding day." I explained, trying to make him feel better and understand. He looked crushed but I didn't know what else to say. I explained the situation to everyone there. There were definitely some disappointing faces as well as faces full of disgust but I would have to get over it. Sam and Rebecca walked over to me and hugged me telling me that they understood. I gave James a quick peck on the cheek and walked off with my friends. I kept my head held high and knew that this was the right choice.
All that night I was thinking about him. Edward not James. I knew I made the right choice by cancelling the wedding with James. It was Edward though that I kept thinking about. I knew that I loved him from the start but I would never see him again. I could never understand why he did not make the move. Although he was not the only one to blame. Of course I never made any actions that said I wanted to be with him. I even dated Jake which was the worst decision of my high school years. Edward was my high school sweetheart and I never had the chance to tell him how I felt.
Rebecca and Sam stayed over that night helping me get through what I had just done. They did not really understand why I was so happy to be done with James but they respected my wishes none the less. I decided to tell them everything about my past. About Edward, Alice, Rose, Emmet and Jasper and my life with them. I told the girls about my love for Edward and how Alice and Rose always made me go shopping. I explained that Emmet was the big brother I never had and Jasper always calmed down everyone. Before I could finish I had tears running down my face. The girls came over and hugged me trying to calm be down but it didn't help. I had to do this on my own. I kindly asked if I could have the night alone and they left respectfully.
I went to lay down in my bed tears still streaming down my face. I couldn't stop them so I just cried and cried. I cried about the love that I had lost and never will feel again. I cried about the friendship that I will never forget and of course I cried about Edward. I remember his piercing eyes so perfectly and his bronze hair and how he always brushed his hand through it. I remember the little things as well. How whenever he said good bye it more sounded like see you again or miss you already. I remember whenever he touched me there was always that spark of electricity I couldn't help but feel. He was the love of my life and I would never feel that way again. If only there was a way for me to see him again.
EPOV
I could not believe that I was still going out with Tanya. It had been two months and that was two months too long. I never really understood why I said yes to her. She called me everyday at least three times a day just to make sure I was thinking about her. That's a little obsessive for a two month relationship. Ya she is kind of pretty but I mean I could do so much better.
This date could not be any more boring. Here we are sitting at my favourite restaurant Italian Chica and all I am hearing is Tanya taking about herself. She keeps reaching over and rubbing my arm obviously trying to be seductive. Could it get any worse? Just then I started to remember my high school sweetheart Bella. Of course I couldn't call her that since I never actually made a move on the love of my life but I could never stop thinking about her. She was so kind and generous. All through high school I kept trying to get the nerve to ask her to move forward but I was never strong enough or something would always ruin the moment. Of course when she started dating Jake I knew I would never get my chance. I still can't believe she dated him even if it was for only two months. When the broke up Bella had such a hard time and all I could do was help her get through it with friendship and nothing more. When she decided to go to a different university I was heartbroken. It would never be the same. A goodbye was just too hard so I just left. I knew she would never forgive me but I couldn't just watch the love of my life leave and never see her again.
"Are you even listening to me?!" Tanya shouted. I knew that I should probably tell her the truth but I honestly didn't care. I wasn't happy with Tanya and I knew I needed to end it.
"I am sorry Tanya, but I am not." I replied. I knew it was mean but it had to be done.
"well I was just saying that we should probably grab the check and maybe go back to my house" She tried to say seductively. Her trying just made me nauseous. I could never imagine having sex with Tanya even if I had done it before.
"I am sorry Tanya but I can't do this anymore. The last two months have been...interesting but I just can't do it."
"Are you breaking up with me?"
"That is exactly what I am doing and I can't believe it took me this long."
"Well of all the nerve, do we get break up sex at least?" She added seriously. I could not believe she said that, we had made out before but nothing more. She always tried but I was never interested. I always had to either leave or make her leave. Kick her out more likely. I could not even answer her. I just stood up, placed 50 bucks on the table and walked away. "Good bye Tanya" was all I said. I laughed to myself thinking that I ever actually wanted a relationship with her. I had a big smile on my face walking out of the restaurant. She was even able to ruin a meal at my favourite restaurant.
I could not stop thinking about the years i had with Bella. I still don't understand why I didn't take the chance and go for it. I mean it seemed like she liked me back but I never knew for sure. If I had just asked her. Just asked if she was interested even a little bit. It would have made me feel so much better to know that I had a chance with her. I loved her, I always knew I did but couldn't do anything about it. She always smiled my favourite smile and I melted inside. I was in love and always will be with that beautiful girl. If only I could find her again. If only I could have a second chance to tell her how I felt or feel! I do, I still love her and I don't think anything could change that. She was the one. She was my everything!
I was crushed and there was nothing I could do. I will never love again. Never feel the same I did with Bella but I would just have to deal with it. I would never see her again.