A/N: This is known as the Matt and Iggy Show, a talk show involving Iggy and me, and your favorite celebrity guests including Betty White…
This is a Project Pull post more info at the bottom.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything execpt me.
Welcome to the Iggy and Matt Show!
Me: So, a couple of days ago there was a moving van outside of the house next to mine. Being the gentleman that I am, I went over to greet my new neighbors. You'll never guess who it was…
It was the flock! So, after some persuading and 20 pounds of "Spam" Iggy agreed to come over and help me with my writing. "Say hi Iggy"
Iggy: Hi! What's up?
Me: Iggy you realize that they can't hear you right?
Iggy: They can't? Then why am I talking out loud?
Me: Because I can't type it unless you tell me.
Iggy: Why can't I type?
Me: Because you can't see the keyboard.
Iggy: Can I at least try?
Me: Sure, why not? *gives laptop to Iggy*
Iggy: ?%*$)()()(!
Me: Iggy give it back! That is just a bunch of gibberish. Luckily I'm fluent in Gibberish.
Translation of what Iggy said: I am really bored, send me some spam.
Iggy: That's exactly what I meant to type! Maybe I should type more often!
Me: No. Just no.
Me: So Iggy, the question everyone's been asking. Are you and Ella going out?
Iggy: Um…. Yes-no-maybe. Let me tell you a story.
Flashback time:
It was a dark and stormy night when Iggy and Ella were sitting on the couch together. "Oh, Iggy you're so masculine!" Ella said "Please have some more of this great Canadian bacon". Iggy grabbed the Canadian bacon and shoved it romantically into his mouth. "Oh, Ella I love you-Canadian bacon so much!" Iggy said. THE END
Me:… That's supposed to show what exactly?
Iggy: It's supposed to show that she loves me enough to give me free bacon.
Me: Why were you addressing yourself in the third person anyway?
Iggy: I do it because it's fun. Ha, that's what she said! *Iggy bursts out laughing*
Me: You're so childish, but what can we tell the readers to expect from this Fanfic?
Iggy: They can expect celebrity guests and interviews. Including one with OPRAH!
Me: Also, fun and games, poetry, sing-a-longs, and more.
Iggy: I like applesauce…
Me: That's great Iggy… So, what do you want to discuss?
Iggy: Well, the Massachusetts Governor Election is coming up.
Me: Let's not discuss politics, but let's welcome our first celebrity guest; William Henry "Bill" Gates III. Come in Mr. Gates.
Bill: Hi fans!
Me: So tell us something about yourself!
Bill: I was born October 28, 1955, and later became the CEO of Microsoft.* Exits room*
Iggy: Where'd he go?
Me: I haven't the slightest idea…
Me: Our next celebrity guest is… Betty White!
Betty: What the- How did I get here?
Iggy: Matt brought you here, he's the writer. He can do whatever he wants.
Me: It's true, but now say something interesting.
Betty: I secretly like to put on a taco suit. Once in said taco suit, I love to dance to Taylor Swift songs, and then I go into my room (still in the taco suit) and add some writing to my book.
Me: You're writing a book? What's it called?
Betty:" The complete guide to creating the most perfect taco in the world".
Me: Shouldn't those words be capitalized?
Betty: No, why would they be?
Me: *Face palm* Because it's the name of a book! Now, Iggy do you have any questions?
Iggy: Yes. Why do you smell like Canadian bacon?
Betty: I always keep some in my back pocket, want some?
Iggy: YES I do! *Takes Bacon*
Me: Iggy! That was in her back pocket…
Iggy: Bacon is bacon, no matter how long it spent in a celebrities back pocket.
Betty: I have more if you want some. (Her words were directed at me)
Me: No thanks, I'll pass.
Iggy: So, Betty you been staring in any movies lately?
Betty: Well I was supposed to be on Elmo, but my arms are too flabby…
Me: Too much information, Betty get out!
Betty: What-
Me: GET OFF OUR SET! *Betty exits*
Iggy: Now we welcome Tom Brady!
Me (Muttering under my breath): He needs a haircut….
Me (Normal voice): But he's a good player anyway!
Iggy: So Tom, any chance we can shave your head?
Tom: No… there is no chance in H-E-double hockey stick
Me: You couldn't just say h*ll.
Iggy: Tom, please get a haircut. You and you Justin Beaver hair cut are embarrassing your town and your state.
Tom: That's not JB's name… It's Justin Be-
Iggy and me in unison: No one cares!
Me: On the other hand, how do you think you'll do against the Vikings this week?
Tom: I think we'll win, knock on wood…
Iggy: Tom you're not half as interesting as I thought you would be, I mean at least Betty White came with Canadian bacon, so get out.
Me: Now it is time for… Dr. Oz to come on and warn us about something we don't care about.
Dr. Oz: Well, excuse me
Iggy: Your excused, now get on with it.
Dr. Oz: Today I will be talking about sun exposure, you need to limit it. Too much sun will kill you, so whenever you go out you should put a whole bottle of sunscreen on. If you have a baby, you should keep him/her inside the house at all times, if you let babies outside it raises their risk for acne when they get older.
Iggy and me: Thank you for that wonderful and informational speech Dr. Oz.
Dr. Oz: You're welcome. *Exits*
Me: So Iggy, what's next?
Iggy: Dancing Tacos?
Me: No, but I wish. Up next we have Howie Mandel. First though we have a message from our sponsor.
"In the words of my role model 'Hi, Billy Mays here for Oxyclean' Hi Bob here for the Sham-wow, I'm replacing the guy that punched the stripper. Billy Mays, we miss you. In fact I quit because the sham-wow was just a cheap copy of Zorbeez. Now back to our show.
Me and Iggy: Welcome back! Howie Mandel is here, now Howie what is your opinion on the whaling operations in Japan?
Howie: I feel-
Me and Iggy: I'm sorry that's all the time we have for today. See you next time on the Iggy and Matt Show!
*Dancing Tacos start to dance around the stage*
A/n: This is a project pull post. It involves writing a story ever other Friday to make our community more active. For more information contact me.