He's glowing, Kurt admired.
Blaine was wrapped up in a cute grey cardigan and fitted slacks, his curls coming slightly loose under his gel. Pregnancy had made his hair even more unruly and he constantly complained that no amount of product was able to restrain it. Kurt didn't mind. He didn't mind any of the beautiful changes in his boyfriend. He loved that Blaine's cheeks were a little fuller, his skin dewy and healthy, and his tummy pressing firmly against his cardigan.
They were at an Italian restaurant; one of those awfully corny yet equally romantic ones with red chequered table cloths and everything. The food was delicious, not that Kurt has tasted much of it. He was too absorbed by Blaine, how he looked, what he said, how he held himself. He still sat as primly as ever but his hands seem to gravitate to his belly and he seemed hyper-conscious of what people in the immediate vicinity were doing. Kurt also suspected that their child was moving around inside his boyfriend as Blaine kept shifting in his seat, his hand flying to just below his belly button at regular intervals. God, Kurt longed for the day when he could feel their daughter's movements from the outside. He had tried that afternoon, hand pressed hopefully against Blaine's bare, stretched skin. Blaine's eyes had been alight with excitement – "it's so good to be able to share this with someone, Kurt" – but Kurt had felt nothing nudging against his palm. It was a surprisingly intimate act and Kurt was a little surprised by the pull he felt towards Blaine. They were back together, but both agreed that they still had things that they needed to work through. But as soon as he saw Blaine with his tummy swollen with their child the only thought running through Kurt's mind was "thank God you're mine."
Tonight was the first time in over ten weeks that he had seen Blaine. Finals were coming up, not to mention that Blaine's morning sickness had made the flight from Lima to New York nigh unbearable, and it all compounded into weeks spent apart. As he watched Blaine scoop forkfuls of creamy pasta into his mouth, the realisation of how much of Blaine's pregnancy he was missing him hit him like a blow to his chest. Blaine had insisted that Kurt stay in New York and Kurt had reluctantly agreed. While Blaine's parents hadn't exactly kicked him out of the house, as the weeks went by it became increasingly obvious that Blaine was uncomfortable living with them. Kurt, hating that Blaine was unhappy, not to mention that he was frequently left alone in the house, was relieved when his dad offered for Blaine to move into Kurt's old room. After much encouragement and assurance that he wasn't imposing and definitely wasn't being a nuisance, Blaine had accepted.
The last time they had met face-to-face Blaine was twelve weeks pregnant and just beginning to show. Kurt remembered walking in on Blaine while he was changing and being fascinated by the curve of his tummy. At that stage the pregnancy was not obvious when Blaine was clothed, but without them the growth inside him was obvious.
The last night before Blaine had gone back to Lima, Kurt had taken him from behind in the shower. He remembered how he held Blaine firmly around his waist – not as tiny as Kurt remembered it – making sure he didn't slip as he gently thrust into him. Blaine had braced his arms against the tiled wall, letting out soft little unh sounds as Kurt entered him, arching his back out to his touch, the new swell of his belly filling Kurt's hands perfectly. Afterwards Kurt had lathered Blaine in cocoa butter, his boyfriend's eyelids at half-mast, basking in his afterglow, before planting kisses all over his belly. At that point the baby had felt like a sweet secret between the two of them. Blaine had wanted to keep it quiet for as long as possible – not because he was ashamed or scared, but because he felt that this was a private joy that he just wanted to share with Kurt – and Kurt loved the intimacy of it.
Of course Blaine sent photos all the time and reported new symptoms and experiences, but it wasn't the same as actually seeing him every day.
Next time, Kurt reassured himself. The next time they would be better prepared. This baby was definitely unplanned given that Blaine was in his senior year and Kurt had only just started college, but it was certainly not unwanted. When Blaine had called him almost eighteen weeks ago and told him he was pregnant neither of them once mentioned an abortion. They both wanted this baby.
"What?" Blaine asked self-consciously, pulling Kurt out of his reverie.
"Hm?" he started, blinking hard a few times and taking a generous forkful of pasta as if that would somehow make Blaine forget he had been staring at him for the past…God knows how long?
"You're staring," he replied quietly, shifting in his seat. "Am I eating too much? I'm sorry, Kurt. I've been starving lately and I didn't eat on the plane. The doctor thinks my weight is okay but if I'm – "
Kurt reached across the table and grasped Blaine's hand. "Shh. Of course you're not eating too much and I would never suggest that you were. I trust you and I trust that you listen to what your body tells you it needs. That includes rest. Sam told me how hard you're working at your studies and being senior class president. Just look after yourself, okay?"
Blaine visibly relaxed. "I am. I promise."
Kurt smiled, stroking Blaine's hand with his thumb. "So what are you singing for nationals?"
Blaine took another mouthful of pasta and chewed it slowly. "We haven't completely decided on the songs yet but no matter what they are – " he took a breath as if to steady himself, " – I'm not going to have a solo."
Kurt tilted his head to the side, contemplating his boyfriend. "Is that what your doctor recommended?" he asked doubtfully.
"No, he said because I'm already used to performing it should be fine, but I just…" He broke off with a shrug.
"Just what?"
Blaine bit his lip, twisting his fork dizzyingly fast in his plate. He didn't meet Kurt's eyes as he said "I just don't want to do anything to risk this." He placed a hand over his belly and rubbed gently. Kurt was fairly certain that Blaine didn't realise he was doing it. "Even if everyone says it's safe, she's too important to me. I just want to focus on looking after our baby."
Kurt felt an ache his chest at the words 'our baby'.
"Okay," he said, squeezing Blaine's hand. "It's your body, Blaine. Like I said before, do what you think is right."
Blaine smiled gratefully before changing the subject. "She knows your voice, you know?"
"Really?"
"Definitely. She always kicks more when you're speaking."
"Does it hurt?" Kurt asked, curiously. He found everything about Blaine's pregnancy fascinating. He wondered how it felt to sit in a restaurant, or a classroom, or even just lie down in bed, knowing that a whole new person was developing just beneath your skin.
Blaine shook his head. "No. Well, not yet," he amended, with a fond smile. "Apparently when she gets bigger and stronger and gets me in the ribs it will, but at the moment not at all." He blushed slightly when he noticed the intensity of Kurt's gaze. "It feels a little like bubbles in my tummy, actually. I swear she was doing somersaults in Spanish yesterday. I had to ask Mr Shue to let me take a break. Walking helps calm her down. I think it's the rocking motion."
"I hope the teachers are looking out for you," Kurt said worriedly. "I mean, senior year is difficult enough even without carrying a baby around…"
"Kurt," Blaine interrupted, his eyes shining with emotion. "I'm doing this gladly. It's not like it's a chore to carry our baby. And I love that I can feel her, just in class it can be kind of distracting. Sometimes I – " He broke off, looking shy.
"Sometimes what?" Kurt prompted. He didn't want Blaine to stop talking about this. He loved it, even if it meant he felt a pang of longing, wishing that he could be there with Blaine, rubbing his tummy to settle their daughter.
Blaine rolled his eyes, self-deprecatingly. "Sometimes I just lie in bed with my hand on my bump, waiting for her to move. I find it relaxing and…it lets me know that she's okay in there."
"You carry pregnancy so well." The words came out in a breathy gush, but Kurt couldn't contain them anymore.
Blaine blushed and smiled. "Everyone says that," he confided. "I think it's because I'm enjoying it so much. I love that I'm carrying a little person around who I made with the love of my life."
Blaine's golden eyes became watery with emotion and Kurt found himself blinking hard against tears as well. Suddenly having Blaine across the table was too great a distance. Kurt tilts his head towards the booth next to him and is delighted when Blaine immediately takes the hint and scoots around the table – perhaps less agilely than he once would have done – and snuggles into Kurt's side. He's eyes were cautious, neither of them were completely back to their old level of easy familiarity but they were getting there, but Kurt's were warm and Blaine settles happily into his arms.
"Tell me more about the baby." Kurt wrapped his arm around Blaine's waist, hating that Blaine stiffened slightly before relaxing into it. Kurt kept forgetting how different things were in Lima and that Blaine still carried a fear of being attacked for walking side-by-side with his boyfriend.
"Really? I mean if you're interested…" His face lit up at Kurt's words, betraying his excitement beyond his nonchalant words.
"Um, I am a little more than merely interested in our child," Kurt replied drily. He rubbed circles into Blaine's hips, knowing Blaine was hurting there. He smiled as his boyfriend made an appreciative noise.
"Well, like I said, she can hear things now. Sometimes loud noises startle her and she'll kick like crazy. I've been pressing my iPod headphones to my belly and playing some of our favourite songs to her. I sing to her sometimes too…"
"She'll like that," Kurt murmured, pressing a kiss to Blaine's forehead.
"I hope so."
Blaine's knees seemed to involuntary pull upwards towards his chest as a middle-aged couple shuffled past their table.
"Oh, you look gorgeous," the lady exclaimed as she caught sight of Blaine's bump.
"Thank you," he said, feeling a little withdrawn.
"How far along?" she cooed, but thankfully didn't surge forward to touch him, like so many people in Lima seemed to think was appropriate.
"I'll be twenty-three weeks on Tuesday."
"Ooh, how exciting," she smiled, before departing. Blaine seemed to sag into Kurt.
"Everything okay?" Kurt asked, stroking up and down Blaine's back.
"Mmhm. Just that…sharing this with strangers is a little weird. It feels personal, but at the same time, it's getting so obvious. I just…having people you've never met interested in your body takes some getting used to."
"You seem happy though. I hope you are," Kurt remarked. There was a quiet happiness to Blaine now, a contentedness that seemed to have washed over had never seen Blaine so comfortable in his own skin.
"I am. I really love that we're starting our own family. I've never really had a tight-knit family of my own before." His voice had grown wistful and Kurt felt a painful twist of sympathy well up inside him. Blaine rarely spoke about his parents and their rather distant style of raising their children but whenever he did Kurt ached for how alone Blaine had felt from such a young age. "Your parents are so wonderful, Kurt, and I just can't wait to add to that."
"You already have. You're part of my family."
Blaine's honey-coloured eyes grew softer. "That means so much to me. I'm so lucky to be sharing all of this with you."
Kurt wet his lips as he took in his beautiful boyfriend. His selfless, sweet, caring boyfriend with all his hopes and dreams and the wonderful gift that he was giving Kurt. He thought of the daughter they would meet in a few short months and all the other children Blaine would carry in the future. He fantasised about their lives together, about seeing each other develop and grow and achieve their dreams. No matter what happened, no matter which way he looked at it, all Kurt could see was perfectly imperfect, never-ending love.
"I think I'm the lucky one," he murmured in response.