A/N: I just realized I'm epicly failing at writing oneshots, and that I'm only good at writing multiple-chapter stories.
Disclaimer: I, Aya, hereby accept that, I, Aya, do not own any of the rights to Maximum Ride.
Iggy: What's up with the "hereby" thingee-ma-jig?
Me: It makes the disclaimer sound more official. Why is it illegal?
Max: No, rather, it makes you sound stupid.
Fang: I utterly agree.
Chapter 1
The crisp breeze offered Maximum Ride an utterly refreshing peace of mind. She haven't had peace since camp started.
Max let out a breath and slowly stood up. Well, back to camp, then. Max thought lazily. Max dusted her faded jeans and covered her dirty-blond hair with her olive green hood. She walked back to camp, taking the crooked rocky trail, with a relaxed aura.
"Are you sure this is legal?" Fang asked Dylan, his dark hair bobbing side to side as he shook his head. Fang and Dylan were crouched behind a prickly bush, peering over it without letting anyone see them.
Dylan shushed Fang with a raise of a finger. "Ssh! Of course it's legal, Fang. Why would you think it's illegal?" Dylan's overconfidence will someday get him killed. Fang believed so.
Always the blunt one, Fang answered Dylan with sarcasm. "Well, we're waiting for your father's friend's daughter and kidnap her." Fang gave up and sat back on his butt. Fang rested his elbows on his knees and sighed.
Dylan snapped his head at him. "Don't think of this as 'kidnapping'. Think of it as 'taking a girl against her will'. You know?"
Fang just rose his eyebrows at him. Sure, Dylan is handsome and all; but the pulchritudinous guise fail to conceal his stupidity and inadequate vocabulary.
Dylan turned back around and peered again. Suddenly, he stiffened. Fang noticed it and went to his side immediately.
Dr. Hans' friend's daughter came to view. And obviously the daughter's father understated his description. Fang's breath was caught in his throat. He took a sideways glance at Dylan and he seemed starstruck as Fang was.
"Damn. . ." Dylan muttered under his breath.
Fang was fighting the urge to break free from the strong grasp of his self-control. Get it together, Fang! Fang thought to himself angrily.
Her name was Maximum Ride. Her father told the two boys that she has dirty-blond hair, but never said that it was wavy and fell freely around her delicate shoulders. Her father never said that she was 5' 7" tall. Never said that she have captivating brown eyes, crowned with long brown lashes. Never said that she have soft pinkish lips. Never said that everything about her was perfect. Never said that she was the same age as Fang and Dylan.
Her father's description was completely lacking. Just said that she have dirty-blond hair and she's tall. Of all things, Dr. Jeb Batchelder understated his own daughter's beauty.
Since today was a windy day, Maximum had her hood up, thereby hiding her precious hair, but failing miserably. She pushed the hood back in irritation and ran both her hands through her hair.
"Ugh! Fuck!" Maximum yelled to the wind.
This brought a raise of an eyebrow from Fang. Dylan was still drooling over Maximum's amazing image. Fang slapped the back of his head and told him to focus.
Dylan snapped at Fang. "How can I focus when she's there?" Good thing he didn't scream or else their covers were blown.
Fang just shook his head at Dylan. Somehow, Maximum's cursing just made her more irresistible. "Cause a distraction."
Dylan looked horrified. "What?" he hissed.
"You're the one who got us into this mess!"
Dylan threw up his hands. "I didn't know Jeb was going to take my suggestion seriously!"
"Can't turn back the time now. Just do it!" Fang practically pushed Dylan and Dylan suddenly felt exposed. Fang motioned for him to get going.
As Max was fumbling to arrange her hair, Dylan went behind her and tapped her left shoulder, even though he was to her right. In reflex, Max turned her head to the left, frowned, then looked the other way. Her eyes widened as she saw Dylan.
Dylan smiled brightly at Max, though Fang knew he's utterly scared. "Hi!"
"Uhh. . . Hi," Max replied, unsure and confused. "Who are you?" Dylan introduced himself and asked for her name. "I'm Max. What are you doing here in the woods?"
Dylan scratched the back of his head and tried to answer. "Ah, well. . . Let's just say I was lost." Again, Dylan smiled. The smiling was getting on Fang's nerves.
Max chuckled. "You? Are you trying to find the road? It's just a mile from here," Max pointed to her right.
Dylan laughed. "No, no. I'm trying to find the camp. Can you show me where it is?"
Fang rolled his eyes. He took out a clean cloth from Dylan's man purse (called a satchel by Dylan) and sprayed one side of the cloth lightly with chloroform and slowly stood up. Careful not to step on any branch or trip over a rock. Fang, always being the silent one, managed to get five feet away from Max, without her noticing him.
Dylan saw Fang over Max's shoulder and tried not to look grateful. Though he liked talking to this beauty right in front of him, he really needed to go pee. He regretted drinking that one liter bottle of Coke on the way here.
"If you want, I'll lead you there. Are you going to join?"
Dylan nodded frantically. "Yeah! I heard from a friend that the camp was a lot of fun."
Max's beautiful face broke into a smile. "Awesome! Come on-" Fang's left arm was around Max and his other hand holding the cloth covered her face. Max was struggling from Fang's grip and tried to scream.
Dylan moved closer and whispered on Max's ear. "We're sorry. . ." Dylan was suddenly on the ground, feeling his broken nose.
Apparently, Max gave Dylan a pretty powerful right jab and broke his nose. Gradually, Max stopped struggling. She started getting heavy and before she can fall on her face, Fang pulled her toward him and they both fell to the ground. Fang slowly removed the cloth off her face. Fang got a sniff of Max; she smelled faintly of pomegranates.
Meanwhile, Dylan was freaking out. "Dude. Dude. Dude, there's a red liquid oozing out of my nose. Dude-"
"It's called blood, Dylan. It keeps you alive. Take her, I'll look at your nose." Fang and Dylan switched holds. Fang took Dylan's man purse and took out another cloth. He went in front of Dylan and pinched his nasal septum.
"Ow!"
Fang ignored his shout and pulled Dylan forward. "Breathe through your mouth."
"How is this going to help-"
With Fang's free hand, Fang opened a water bottle, poured it to the cloth and squeezed the cloth dry. It was pretty wet, so he covered around Dylan's nose. He was still pinching his nose as he covered his nose.
"Dude, I can't breathe-"
"I told you to breathe through your mouth, dumbass."
After five minutes, the bleeding stopped. Fang removed both his hands carefully and told Dylan to sit up. Dylan doesn't look handsome now, with his nose still broken. Fang smirked and seized Dylan's chin.
"What are you-"
With his point finger and middle finger bent, he took the bridge of his nose and snapped to the left.
"SHIT!"
Then to the right.
"MY GOD!"
Fang, satisfied, took the chlroformed-cloth and brought it to Max's face once again because her lashes were fluttering. Fang picked Max up, bridal-style, and told Dylan to start the car.
Dylan, still in pain, went while carressing his was-straight nose. Fang followed behind him, still happy from Dylan's pain.
But the car (a minivan, a disgrace to all men) was gone.
Frustrated, Dylan screamed. "WHERE THE HELL IS THE STINKING VAN?"
"Well, it's definitely not hiding behind that pine tree."
Dylan glared at Fang. "Stop being sarcastic! We need to find that van! How are we going to get back?"
"Did you leave the keys in the ignition?" Fang asked.
"Yes." Dylan started pacing.
"Were the windows open?"
"Yeah."
"Did you lock the car?"
Dylan stopped pacing.
Fang repeated the question. "Dylan, did you?"
"No. . ."
"Problem solved. It's your fault." Fang walked back to the trail, leaving Dylan with his mouth gaping.
"How are we going to get out of here?" Dylan caught up with Fang.
"Look for horses."
Dylan snorted. "Right, as if you can ride one."
Fang just looked at him. "OK, OK! I'll find two horses."
Fifteen minutes later, Max was not yet awake (for which Fang was grateful) and Dylan came back with two horses; one was black, the other brown. Fang took the black one.
"Mount you horse, Dylan. She's riding with you."
Dylan mounted his brown horse and waited for Fang. Fang rose Max and handed him to Dylan. Dylan carefully adjusted Max's unconcious form on the crook of his arm; Max's head was resting on Dylan's right shoulder. Dylan handed Fang his man purse as Fang mounted his own horse.
"Where to now, Fang?"
"Where else?"
"To Jeb's place?"
"No duh, Dylan."
A/N: I have recently been a part of Project P.U.L.L. I learned all about it from Phoenix Fanatic. If you are unsure what it is, go to Bookaholic711's profile. I hope you guys will also participate in PULL! See you in two weeks! (During which I'll update the second chapter.) RnR?