ADR: 0003
March 31
"Almost there, I'm almost there" Seymour told himself again and again, chanting it like a prayer. He was so close to his goal and after years of planning he had finally found a way to make it back to earth. It had cost him a substantial amount to get the coordinates to his system from Grymwar, a galactic networks of information brokers. That, and years of seemingly innocent and scholarly questions to the clefairy about their ships had helped him learn how to pilot some of their models.
Finding a ship that could make the trip and could be manned by a one person and with his limited biology had been difficult, but months of patience and searching finally paid off. The idea of smuggling himself aboard a ship passing through his system had occurred to him until he'd learned that entering his system was apparently illegal. Apparently there had been a strictly enforced law put in place decades ago making systems with less advanced races, anyone who hadn't developed interplanetary space travel yet, forbidden territory.
When he asked what had prompted such a law, the clefairy told him that it had gone into effect after the events of what could technically be called a galactic civil war. Not to say that no one ever ventured into those prohibited quadrants, they just never do so by legal means. Besides the clefairy, those who did were rarely friendly, and that alone had been enough to dissuade him from going that route.
Those who were caught by the galactic council could plea to have the severity of their punishment mitigated, the extent was dependent on how little influence their presence had affected the technological and cultural advancement of the creatures of the affected system. Because of this, his existence and the hundreds of other humans that had been smuggled off his planet had to be kept quiet. In the years he spent among the Lunites, the galactic name for the clefairy, he learned that the galactic community didn't have the highest opinion of his apparent saviors.
Much like his home world, the Lunites' home planet, Qintaro, had become too dangerous to live on, so they fled to the neighboring moons. Another race had psychically predicted that this would happen and warned them years in advance, allowing them the time they need to settle on their moons. Their technology was advanced enough to let them comfortably on the satellites which were large enough to sustain and maintain the entire population. Over time certain groups of Clefairy began worshiping the celestial bodies they now called home.
Not everyone shared the view but they allowed the groups to exist as they saw little harm in this new faith. All of that changed when a Cognate moon harvesting station was blown up and its workers were murdered, their bodies displayed to the public as examples of what happened to those who desecrated the holy lands of their faith.
In order to save some face, the Lunite government started cracking down on the moon worshipers in their communities, even going as far as to adopt and refer to those of that faith as Luna-tics.
Not everyone of the faith was so extreme, but anyone who practiced it became a target. One of the less extreme sects decided to leave and practice their religion in peace and what better place than one of the few remaining quadrants of the galaxy where no one was allowed to venture. That had been decades ago, enough time for the anger towards the Luna-tics to come down to a simmer. Time had allowed for the distinction to be made between the extremists and peaceful worshippers, but the actions of the extremist group still echoed to this day.
When the clefairy he'd traveled with went to their moons their government was not pleased, but they weren't so heartless as to have Seymour and his race back. The government empathized with the humanity's plight, so similar to their own, but there were some conditions if they were to stay. Not all the humans were going to be kept on their moons, maintaining their growing population was becoming difficult enough without adding another several hundred humans.
Placing them on Qintaro was out of the question, so deals were brokered with other races that were on good terms with the Lunites to house and hide some of the humans they had brought with them. If the galactic council ever found out, the hope was that the damage would be spread evenly among the other races as opposed to it being completely focused on the clefairy.
As grateful as Seymour was to the Clefairy for trying to save his race from destruction, the moment he heard from the Grymwar agent that his planet and his race was still alive he knew he had to make his way back.
Not that they didn't try to make him feel comfortable and at home. Despite being hidden from the rest of the world, the Lunites did their best to make sure he was fed, rested, and entertained. They even tried to set him up with another human female, not so subtly hinting at how his race would eventually need to be restarted in the future.
Their efforts, however well intentioned, were in vain as his time as a mountain hermit had done little for his social skills. Unlike some of his fellow survivors, he preferred to spend his time spending time with the Lunites, asking them about their government and culture. Within the first few months, he and a few other humans began to actually understand the clefairy without the need of a translator or an electronic tablet, though their writing was another matter entirely.
As a result, while inputting the coordinates to his planet's system he may have missed or added an unnecessary character into the system. This resulted in him being thrown several thousand kilometers away from his desired destination. Making another jump to close the distance was pointless and he risked zipping through earth's atmosphere and into an explosive landing that would end his trip permanently.
Years of talking with the mechanics also told him that he needed to let the drives cool and that the thrusters would allow him to make the rest of the way. He had waited for several years, he could wait another few hours. There really wasn't any rush as no one knew he was making his way towards his home, and if they ever found out, by the time they did he'd already be on terra firma and it'd be too late. His timing had been perfect, having warped past the galactic border security just as they were switching patrols.
His only real concern was that he had enough fuel to make the last of the trip, although he had already prepared a few contingencies in the event that he might be stranded.
Seymour spent the next few hours humming to himself, thinking about all the things he might do when he was back on earth. Part of him hoped that the issues he had left Earth with had been resolved while he'd been gone. Things had looked grim in his departure but some part of him knew that humanity would pull through and be on top of things once more.
The clefairy had done their best to shield from the happenings of the galactic community. Things were happening across the cosmos, big things that could tip the balance of power for a multitude of races. It had happened ever since the event that everyone in space was calling the Limit Break. The first days weren't so bad, with a lot of the damage being mitigated because many psychic types had foreseen the event happening and prepared beforehand.
In fact, most of the galactic council was comprised mainly of psychic types, much to the chagrin of the other advanced races, like the clefairy, who didn't carry any strong psychic genes and as a result didn't have as much sway in council meetings.
Yet, as hard as clefairy tried to keep in him the dark, word of galactic events still reached his ears and once he started talking to one of the ghosts of Grymwar, the missing pieces to his theory fell into place. With every race getting a sudden boost to their powers, everyone was keeping an eye on everyone else to see who would make the first move. Most races had unique planetary defense methods capable of wiping out entire battalions should an outside force try and invade.
The wild card was the formidable Xochiltan Empire who had conquered an entire quadrant of the galaxy. With forces numbering in septillions they were composed of bug type pokémon whose union and conquest was founded on the belief that they first race in existence to be created by their creator deity, and as such they held the right to rule over all other races that came after them. What they lacked in powers compared to other psychics they made up for in
The last few decades had been quiet, which unnerved most of the other races as no one knew what went on within their borders.
Theories as to why they had gone quiet ranged from the possibility that they were reinforcing the stability of all the systems they had conquered to the potential infighting from inability to maintain such a large force. No one, not even Grymwar agents had any definite answers to support those claims. Now with everyone getting a boost, everyone kept one eye on their neighbors and the other on the empire.
A holoscreen suddenly materialized before Seymour's eyes, showing him the time remaining before he reached the planet's atmosphere.
"Sally, can you bring up the planet on the screen," he commanded the ship's onboard computer, watching the electroglass reconfigure to his wishes. Earth's image appeared, revealing the moon and the planet he had left behind in perfect clarity, or at least it did until the tears in his eyes made the world around him start to shimmer. He wiped his tears on his sleeve, noting the brown strip of cloth wrapped around his bicep. It was all that remained of the lab coat he had when he lived among the clefairy in the mountains.
"I'm almost there guys, and I think I have something better than a postcard," Seymour chuckled until a warning screen eclipsed his view of the earth.
"Oh shit," Seymour whispered, watching the interior lights flash red and drown the silence in the warning klaxon. A green serpentine figure swam across a mass of clouds, cruising through the mesosphere along with the earth's rotation.
Seymour's hands ghosted over the control panel as he scanned the button for something that could save him.
"Sal, please tell me this ship has a cloaking device?" he pleaded as the green figure stopped moving and turned to face them.
"This vessel was not outfitted with a cloaking device," the onboard computer chimed back, sounding blissfully unaware of their situation.
"Well let's hope that he can't see us from this dis-"
"Incoming energy signature," warned him, "Evasive maneuvers advised."
Seymour practically threw himself onto the controls. Had he hesitated for another second he would've been caught in the column of black and purple energy that tore through space.
"Shields holding at seventy percent," Sal's tone was dark, making Seymour briefly wonder if she was actually concerned about their situation or programmed to sound worried when she gave those percentages.
"That blast didn't even fully connect with the ship! It hardly grazed it!"
"Hostile is now approaching the vessel. Will arrive in 2 hours if we remain stationary."
"Sal, can we outrun whatever is attacking us? Simres." He tacked on at the end, essentially asking for a simple response.
"Not with this vessel's own propulsion," she promptly replied, reconfiguring the electroglass to show phantom scenarios of his ship trying to outmaneuver the creature known as Rayquaza. None of the scenarios ended with him surviving.
"Wait, not with our…what if we use the moon for a gravity assist? If he'd heading towards us we can let him tail us at a certain distance and then slingshot around the moon. Could we make it to earth then?"
Sal was silent for a few uncomfortable seconds before responding.
"Success of tactic not impossible. Would have limited time to hide from hostile once we've passed the stratosphere. Hiding in the seas may make it difficult to be tracked."
"Make it so. I'm giving you command of the ship while I get suited up. Continue making evasive maneuvers but make sure we stay on course and don't lose any speed. Use the remaining fuel if you have to. Let's make our way back to the moon but throw that thing a few warning shots so he knows we're still interested. If he doesn't chase us this won't work. Let me know when we reach the moon."
"Acknowledged," was all Sal said before Seymour made his way to the end of the circular room and keyed the lift to descend to the second level of the ship. While the ship's hull hadn't been breached, it didn't hurt to prepare for the worst.
Seymour stood before the environment suit the Clefairy had fashioned for him on his birthday. While they had never intended for him to go into space, the suit itself had all the components that their suits had to let them safely enter the vacuum. Suiting up was the easy part, the hard part was the waiting.
In an attempt to kill time Seymour descended to the lower levels of the ship to make sure everything was still intact. The second floor was his personal cabin where his personal effects were kept, the floor below that was the engine room, and just below that was storage. The ship was spherical with a metal ring around the middle, much like the cartoony image of a UFO that Seymour often drew when he was a child. It was small, but efficient. Everything that was there needed to be there, much like how they tried to run their countries.
Seymour thought back to the digital magazine the clefairy had uploaded onto his electronic tablet. He'd shown such an interest in their vessels and spent so much time asking questions about the other types ships from other races they decided to give him something to hopefully sate his curiosity, along with an app that gave him the species equivalent on his planet.
With every swipe of the screen he turned the page and was given an interactive three dimensional hologram of the ship with its stats floating beside it. With so much information to take in it took Seymour several weeks to make sense of it all but the wonders of space travel were rekindled in his heart.
Beheeyem ships were disk shaped whereas Malamar ships had crystalline structure. Reuniclus made trips along the cosmos in ships that were essentially a giant single-celled organisms. Deoxys and Metagross could move through space without the use of ships and instead linked up to boost their speed. Alakazam ships were inspired by their psychic mediums while the ships that the Delphox and Ninetails used looked very much akin to spherical paper lanterns. And that was just to name a few.
Most of the ship designs wouldn't normally be conducive to traveling through the air and into space, but being a psychic type with the ability to ignore gravity had its advantages.
"We are approaching the planet's moon" Sal's disembodied voice spoke through the walls and made him jump.
"Thank you, Sal. I'll be up there in a minute," Seymour replied, making his way to the lift. It had been a long time since Seymour saw his moon and compared to the moons the clefairy lived on it wasn't that spectacular.
"But it's my moon and my planet," Seymour mumbled under his breath just as he entered the control room of the ship. The sterile lunar plains dominated most of the screen, the sight of it threatening to take Seymour's breath away.
"Sal, is the pokémon still in pursuit?"
"Rayquaza has been closing the distance ever since we started advancing towards the moon. Our records of Rayquaza's abilities may be obsolete as he's moving faster than our records ever indicated."
"Maybe his limit got broken too" Seymour mused, cradling his chin in his hand before looking up again. "Has he fired any other energy attacks?"
"Negative. I believe that the initial strike he fired at us was to gauge our ability to dodge his attacks. Repeated strikes of that manner would deplete from his energy reserves which he is using to chase us. Our records indicate that Rayquaza designates anything within the moon's orbit of earth his territory and may cease his pursuit once we leave."
"Looks like he's gonna be disappointed today."
"Seymour, once we reach the planet and if we survive this encounter…how will you be disposing of this vessel and its equipment?"
"Dispose?"
"The Galactic Evolutionary Preservation Act clearly states that advanced alien technology is not to come into contact with lesser advanced races so that their technological advancement is not influenced by outside forces. If you do not intend to comply I am required to initiate this vessel's self-destruct sequence or allow Rayquaza to eliminate any trace of our existence."
Seymour's face discovered shades of white his body had never known.
"You didn't bring this up when we snuck past security."
"There are parts of my programing set to activate the deeper I enter into a less advanced quadrant of space. All ship AI are created with this in place ever since the Denilzon Accord. Now that we are so close to the planet I am forced to obey these aspects of my programming."
"I'll make sure no one finds you or anything on this ship," Seymour offered back weakly.
"I'm required to ask you how," all the warmth her voice once held was now gone.
"Y-you mentioned the sea. Couldn't you just head to the bottom of the ocean with your autopilot?"
"Method ineffective. High probability of still being discovered and impacting your species and their technological advancement."
"H-how about a volcano? You could fly into the lava and be melted down. No trace there."
"This method is satisfactory. I will continue to…"
"Sal…what's wrong?"
"Energy spike detected. Rayquaza has disappeared from my sensors," Sal explained, bringing up a view from the rear of their ship with nothing but the image of earth and empty space behind them.
"What do you mean disappeared? Did he stop chasing us?"
"Rescanni-I have located Ray-brace for impa-."
Before Seymour could even inquire further he felt the entirety of the ship lurch to the side, the floor beneath his feet falling away as he lifted into the air and flew across the room. His suit was able to take the brunt of the damage, but slamming into the wall sent the air from his lungs. Warning lights flashed and bathed the room in crimson, windows materialized onto the cracking electroglass with lists of damages throughout the ship, cascading endlessly over one another until it all eventually blinked out to reveal the cold and unforgiving black of space.
Seymour felt and watched the gravity generator fail as loose fragments of his ship lifted into the air in a maelstrom of metallic chaos. The only light now came through the inactive electroglass, darkness eclipsed briefly by the pale surface of his planet's moon. Every revolution brought the gray lunar plains closer, fragments and shards of the ship battering his body all the while but the suit held.
Seymour screamed, the noise filling his helmet and nowhere else as the room once the air vented out through the damaged holes. His mind was like the room he was in, chaotic and incoherent, shards of fear and despair relentlessly bombarding him. While the debris never actually breeched the suit, it still forcefully shunted and shifted his body with every blow.
Part of Seymour wondered how long this would go on and wanted it all to be over, but the other part knew what it all being over would mean. He didn't have to wait long before his ship crashed into the moon and the pandemonium stilled and his vision was replaced with darkness.
Seymour awoke a minute later as his suit desperately tried to keep him alive and active, injecting a cocktail of steroids and stimulants into his bloodstream. Hundreds of tiny airbags that lined the interior of his suit deflated, allowing him to regain some of his mobility. Filters and pumps within his suit immediately went to work on replenishing the remaining air in his suit. The Kantonian scientist's heart was moving a hundred miles a minute as he looked about the wreckage of his ship. Seymour scrambled across the room, wanting to be nowhere near the ship should Rayquaza decide to finish of the fallen vessel.
Small plumes of lunar soil floated off the ground as Seymour tumbled out of the wreckage. Seymour stared up and felt his blood freeze at the sight of the serpentine figure floating a few dozen meters away from the crash site. The clefairy's records on Rayquaza would have to be revised as creature he now witnessed seemed drastically different from what was on file.
Glowing bronze chains flowed from the ends of what seemed to be emerald horns that framed his brow and jaw. His once yellow eyes were replaced with burning coals that swam in the black pools. Amber spheres jutted out of black scales from the sides of his body that now seemed longer and larger than before. Black lips parted to bare rows of golden teeth and while Seymour couldn't hear anything from the creature's mouth, he felt a wave of force shake his bones and send waves of lunar sand flying in every direction.
Seymour feared moving, feared breathing or making any noise within his suit regardless of the fact that he was now within the vacuum of space. All he could hope for was to be so insignificant that he would be spared out of pity. The only sound in the universe now was his heartbeat, thrumming against his chest at an impossible tempo as he strained to hold his breath.
Either some cosmic force had heard his frantic and silent prayers or Rayquaza himself decided he wasn't worth the effort because he swiftly turned and vanished from Seymour's sight, becoming a green pinprick in the distance. Seconds passed before Seymour felt as though every nerve in his body was unraveling and coming undone. Earth's first space traveler released a desperate gasp for air and frantically gulped down air almost faster than his suit could recycle it.
Seymour dropped to the ground, fear and exhilaration being experienced in equal parts. His body shook uncontrollably from the aftereffects of the adrenaline, even after he threw up in his own helmet. Luckily, his suit was advanced enough to eliminate the vomit just as fast as he could produce it. Seymour wasn't sure how long he lied there, but lifted off the ground as soon as his heart rate returned to normal.
Just one look was enough to let Seymour know that there was no way he would ever get his ship off the moon. His gaze drifted back to the earth, the very place he'd been trying to get to for three years. So here he was, so close to his goal and yet so far, at least relatively speaking.
"Is this my punishment? Was this why I was spared?" he sobbed within his helmet and fell to his knees. Tears floated aimlessly within his spacesuit as his hand reached out for the earth, almost as if he could grab it and pull it closer. He leaned forward, stretching out in a hopeless attempt to bridge the distance until he lost his balance and fell forward.
Tiny clouds of lunar soil rose from his landing. His arm was still outstretched, fingers straining to advance even just another millimeter closer to his home. When his arm could stretch no more it simply hung there for a few seconds before dropping to the ground. Seymour's fingers dragged through the sand, curling into a fist in a vain attempt to crush the remnants into a finer powder.
"There's gotta be something I can use on the ship to make it the rest of the way" Seymour growled, slamming his fist into the dirt and pushing himself off the ground and onto his feet. Moving in a weaker gravity on the moon would've been something the younger Seymour would have reveled in, but the older and more seasoned scientist new better than to waste time. His suit would allow him to survive for some time without air, he would eventually need to resupply.
Seymour ducked and crawled through the wreckage until he was back on the command deck. He poured over the command console which was surprisingly still intact and was grateful that the backup generators were still intact.
"S-seYmuor?" the disjointed voice spoke into his suit's radio.
"Oh thank god. Yes Sal, it's me."
"What are-are-are-you doing?" she asked as he made his way to the lift at the back of the room.
"I'm going into storage to see if there's something I can use to make it the rest of the way to earth, or at least keep me alive long enough to make the trip there," Seymour explained, trying to pry open the doors to the lift. He'd managed to find some purchase and was already shifting them back enough to squeeze through before they slammed close.
"I'm afraid I can't let you do that Seymour," Sal's voice now taking on a cold and emotionless tone.
"Sal, open these doors right now!" Seymour yelled.
"I cannot. You intend to bring advanced equipment onto a lesser advanced planet. This vessel is no longer capable of flight and will have to be eliminated. You may remove your helmet at this time or keep it on and remain inside while I overload the reactor. If you do not wish to be within the vessel when it explodes I will withhold the countdown until you are atop it so that the explosion can propel you away from the planet, that way the chances of your body being located by your race will have decreased significantly."
"Sal, I am not killing myself. I am going to my planet. Do not self destruct. Just let me get some of the equipment out of storage and once I'm on earth I promise you I will make sure no one gets their hands on this technology."
"You cannot assure me the validity of these claims. My methods ensure that the GEP Act is followed. Overloading the reactor will ensure that the remains of this vessel will be vaporized. The crater this explosion will leave may blend in with the other craters on this moon. Before I start the countdown, would you like to rate your experience."
"IT FUCKING SUCKED!" Seymour screamed.
"Thank you for your time and I hope your death is quick and painless. Please do not take this personally, I am only upholding galatci law. Beginning countdown at 10...9...8..."
"Son of a bitch," Seymour growled through gritted teeth and dove for the opening where he initally entered. He'd managed to make it a few meters away before he felt himself flatten against a wall of force. Adrenaline filled his veins while the landscape around him dissolved into a gray blur. Seymour viscously clawed at the ground but could find no purchase until his fingers struck something hard and instinctively curled around it.
Waves of force and lunar spray washed past him, making him feel like a flag in a sand storm. The dust eventually settled as the force of the blast waned back into stillness. Seymour let himself float down onto the hard surface he had grabbed onto. Curiosity temporarily overwhelmed the inevitable despair at his situation.
The longer Seymour looked at it the more and more he rejected the answer he came up with and yet he couldn't deny that he was staring at a manhole cover. Seymour's fingers felt down the edge and found that they continued deeper into the moon. The once level surface was now slanted, with the edge that he had held on for dear life edging out of the pipe it sealed.
"What is this doing here? Where does it go? Who put this here?" Seymour thought to himself as he grabbed the lifted edge and began to pull. Never once did he question why it was sealed, or whether removing the cap could have a negative conquest. Without too much effort Seymour was eventually able to lift the manhole cover, figuering that the explosion had loosened it enough before.
The moment the slightest breach in the seal had been made a black torrent of pressurized miasma spewed forth from the pipe. Seymour backed away just in time to dodge the manhole burst from the pipe atop a geyser of oily darkness. At first the scientist thought that he had somehow found oil on the moon until a figure began to form within the black fountain. Dark wings sprouted from rushing column as red eyes shone past its murky depths. The inky liquid swirled in on itself, crystalizing into the recognizable features of a creature.
"AFTER TEN THOUSAND CHAPTERS I'M FREE, IT'S TIME TO CONQUER EARTH!" Shadow Ho-oh crowed.
Meanwhile, on earth.
"Alakalossal, Ho-oh has escaped. Recruit a team of teenagers with attitude," Uxie commanded, receiving only a nod from the giant alakazam before five figures materialized into the room.
"Welcome humans. I am Uxie, creater of all intellect in existance. The planet is under attack and I have brought all here to save it." the sprite began to explain. Five pairs of unintested eyes blinked back at him.
"You've been chosen to form an elite team to battle Ho-oh. Each of you will be given access to powers drawn fro-"
Paul scoffed and rolled his eyes, scanning the entirety of the room.
"So where's the exit?"
"E-excuse me?" Alakalassol sputtered.
"The exit. I'm leaving. This sounds retarded and I have better things to do with my time. So where is it?"
"I-oh-you the nerve of...master Uxie?" the giant alakazam relented and turned to his master with a pleading look in his eyes.
"Down hall on left." Uxie replied without hesitation. "Do the rest of you wish to leave as well?"
Dawson traded glances with Hiiro, Cygnus, and Zahrah the gardevoir who all quietly nodded back at him and followed Paul. Uxie waited for them to quietly file out before turning to his assistant.
"Alakalossal, find another batch of teenagers...with a bit less attitude.
Over the years that I've been writing this series I've always wanted to do something special for April first but the day always passes me by. The times that I've even realized it's on its way I find myself with nothing to show for it because I've realized it too late. This was just a fun way for me to blow off steam and have fun since writing Poke Wars can take me to some dark places as I'm sure you readers and most of the other Poke Wars writers can agree. I will be updating this story probably once a year, but other Poke Wars writers will be free to update this anywhere between that time. The first half of this chapter is actually something that I've been working on the side ever since I made mention of space near the end of the Incipience. It will be a long time before I ever touch what I'm calling Cosmic Poke Wars but I hope you like what I've got so far. As for the ending portion, I hope it made you laugh or at least smile. I've always loved those joke stories that get you right at the end.