Hi there everyone, ChiiRyeeBiee desu. How are you doing on this fine, fine day? I can't believe myself; I've been finishing off the unfinished stories in my folders and I'm off to write more OMG
Achievement unlocked: Post at least one story for every one of my ships~! Hahaha. I haven't been on my SasuNaru phase lately with all the canons firing my way but it still lives, pfft! ;D *fistpumps in air*
This is a new writing style I wanted to try out – it's a really bubbly first person, complete with emojis and all. It could be considered crackish but I'm not even sure...
Yeah, actually, let's just call it crack in case. DONUT HAET ME (hah, donuts.) I don't own Naruto peeps, and beware of OOC lulzers and ukeish!Naruto (I tried to balance it out omfg :/ like seriously Naru, you can't be that hyper, ye) and flooffily flooffy flooff. :D Yeah.
Donut Do That, Naruto!
Summary: "My boyfriend Sasuke is a teme. You wanna know why he's a teme? Sasuke's a teme because he always wins in everything, you know? But I, Naruto Uzumaki, will show that Sasuke-teme how uber awesome I can be – a race against time via a donut hopping challenge! MUHAHAHA!" OOCish SasuNaru, crackish, shounen-ai
My boyfriend Sasuke is a teme. :(
You wanna know why he's a teme? Well, let me tell you why he's a teme.
Sasuke's a teme because he always wins in everything, you know? Even if he doesn't try, he's still the winner. For example: say we're playing some random video game, yeah? You know who wins? ...That's right. Sasuke wins. An award for the coolest person ever? ...Sasuke wins. A free glass of apple juice at old man Teuchi's? ...Yeah. Sasuke wins that too. Not that winning was everything, but I wanted to win something against him, even if it was just once. I don't want him to let me win at something – where's the honour in that? – I wanted to win all on my own, with my own efforts and my own awesome luck. And I am plenty awesome, ha ha.
Before we started dating, we used to be the biggest rivals in high school – everyone who knew us knew we never, ever, EVER got along. When I came to school with a new hairstyle first semester, everyone still flocked around him and his ridiculous duck-butt shaped hair. I mean, was that even natural? Who even styled their stupid hair that way? (After months of dating, let me tell you that it is ACTUALLY natural. Pfft.)
Then there was the time where we had this raffle thing for a cute lifesize fox plush toy as the prize. I wanted to win it for Sakura-chan, so I entered numerous times in exchange for spare gold coins. I really, really, REALLY wanted it (the plush toy was really adorable, and it was orange, my favourite colour. Not to mention its pea-sized button eyes and cute little nose, and the attention to detail with its fangs and paws and soft fur...! But I only wanted it for Sakura-chan, okay?) so I kept asking Shikamaru about how many entries there were so far. (Shikamaru was the student council president.)
I tried calculating my probability of winning it and made sure I donated enough money to earn enough tickets for at least a sixty percent chance of winning it. (I'm not that rich on change. I gotta eat too ;_;) ...But you know who won it in the end after my laborious efforts and clever mathematical conclusions? ...Yep. It was Sasuke. And he didn't even enter it himself! Kiba admitted he bought a ticket just to mess with the guy and humiliate him should he win something so girly. Unfortunately, not only did the teme win the most amazing plush toy (for Sakura-chan) ever, the girls in our year and some others flocked about him yet again for they admired the way he was getting in touch with his "inner femininity". Giant facepalm.
I also remember that one special athletics day – I was dressed in this really cool super saiyan Goku cosplay just because I could - Sasuke and I were head on head in the semi finals for the one hundred metre sprints. I'm pretty quick on my feet. I had to be, just in case some adult decides to give chase after I teepeed their car or something. (Pranks are funny. XD) But even with this spectacular talent of mine, Sasuke still won, that jerk. By two seconds, no less. :/ I decided to take my revenge on him for stealing my title by teepeeing his car, but I should've known not to mess with someone who can actually run faster than me... Heh. It didn't go well, let me tell you now.
(That is, if you consider getting together after a heated argument and spontaneous confessions about why we always clashed so much a terrible situation.)
After losing to him so many times, I still continue to challenge him in several ways when the opportunity strikes. A ping pong match, the most expensive anniversary present challenge, who can make a better dinner course than the other. I know I'll win against him in something one day. Even if it's something as simple as being the "best boyfriend ever award", I'd be happy. And whaddya know? I won something against him for a change. Lemme tell you how I did it, yeah?
It all started when he and I went to a waterpark the other day. It was summer, and you know the drill. Weeks of sleeping in and staying up late and basically doing nothing with your life. He was the one who invited me, by the way. I was all up for snoozing till three pm and eating cuploads of ramen and playing video games afterwards, but being the teme he was, he had to wake me up so early (seven am is way too early to be up at during the holidays!) just so we can go there. Not that I didn't want to go. I saw pictures of the waterpark in the internet and I thought it looked totally awesome! There were several waterslides of different colours curling in here and there, and even though it was mainly a waterpark, there were other "dry" rides too like the Wind Swinger (some ride that has several swing seats strapped onto it and it swings around and around and around! (=ﾟωﾟ)ﾉ) and the typical carousel. I just wasn't a morning person, that's all.
Anyway, Sasuke woke me up the usual way – a quiet, "Goodmorning Naruto" remark followed by a few tugs at my bright orange comforter. I was pulling it to myself like I usually did whilst clutching at Kyuubi (yeah, Sasu gave the fox plush toy to me :3) so he had to resort to Phase Two of the Ultimate Sasuke Uchiha wake up call: the Uchiha tickle fight. :( It woke me up (albeit leaving me slightly irritated), let me tell you now. After a laugh or two, I pushed the raven-haired guy off of me and kicked him, like really hard. Heh. You'd probably do the same thing if you were woken up that way. You couldn't blame me for it – Sasu had it coming (￣Д￣)ﾉ! I don't like getting tickled... Makes me feel all tingly and vulnerable. And 'm not vulnerable, no way!
"Damn it, Naruto. That actually hurt." He said, rubbing his sides when I finally sat up. I just poked my tongue out at him, hmph.
"'S your fault. You know I hate you doing that."
"And you have to get up, Naru." Sasuke countered, pulling at the covers again. "I cooked you breakfast. If I hadn't slept over last night I bet you'd stay asleep till three pm, eat cuploads of unhealthy ramen and play video games till the sun sets, huh?"
Hehe. He knew me too well.
"Anyway, we better leave while it's still early. We'll get more done that way." Sasuke started folding up my blanket, putting Kyuubi to one side. I never got why he'd do these things for me. It was sweet in a way, but I was perfectly happy with an unmade bed. Oh, that's right. He was a teme, remember? Temes like him preferred tidy and organized places. Not that I was complaining if all I had to do was stand there and watch. I waited for him to be done before dragging him to breakfast with me. Teme or not, I loved having Sasu around :)
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Breakfast done and currently digesting, I packed up a few spare clothes (orange overload, suckers! XD) and some swimwear for our dayout. Sasuke's car was parked somewhere in the building garage, or so he told me (I live in the most confusing apartment building ever). Long story short, it took us about an hour to drive to our destination - Konoha's very own Splash and Dash adventure park. I remember gaping at the really tall slides which twisted and turned in several directions and smelling the tang of chlorine in the air. I was excited of course. Slides! Archery! Kayaking! I couldn't wait to do it all, with Sasuke nonetheless~ (⌒▽⌒)
...So I forked up some of my saved up cash to pay for my ticket while Sasuke paid for his at the entrance, then I practically ran towards the Wind Swinger ride. I didn't want to go swimming yet, but Sasuke persuaded me to at least accompany him to find a locker for our stuff (he could perfectly go find one himself but he said I probably wouldn't know where it was if I needed somethin'). We got changed into our trunks afterwards - mine as orange as... well... an orange, and Sasuke's: blue like his hair. A pair of slippers each and we were heading out into the funzone. Woohoo amusement parks!
"Naruto. Stop swinging that towel around."
:/ Sasu, grouchy as always. "But it's fun! It coincides with the way I'm skipping." I told him bluntly.
"You might hurt someone, dobe. Just stop it." He said in his, "I'm-the-boss-of-you-so-you-better-listen-to-me" voice. It was as if four years of being his rival and two of dating him never happened cuz he still believed that worked on me, pfft.
"Fine." I pouted, rather sadly at that. "But I'll get to choose where we go first, and I say the Wind Swinger ride is a must!" I could see the people around us backing away a little as I fistpumped in the air, openly grinning.
Sasuke shook his head as if I was doing something wrong. What was wrong with blatantly enjoying life as it was? I was just excited to be there with him, sheesh. If I had a choice, I probably would have stayed at home. Video games were fun too! (But going out for a change was nice.)
So yeah, I'm sure most of you have been to amusement parks before (for those of you who haven't, I'm sorry (^_^;)). The one we were at was smaller than most by the way, even if it was the only one at Konoha. Picture a few shacks or so along the sidelines – most selling food; some selling souvenirs, others... just standing there idle, really. The place was separated into two sections: the "dry" rides and the "wet" rides, with a bridge (they couldn't have made it just plain concrete; noooo, it had to have metallic patterns on it so it would hurt on your feet!) connecting both worlds together.
I also remember several shade houses and beach beds beside every water-based area for the parents and the easily tired. Two main waterslides – the green, "Swamp of Death" or whatever and the black, "Portal to The Future". Heh. To the person who made those ride names, as much as I would like to give you credit for your creativity, you want to attract as many customers as possible, not scare them off. They sounded plently terrifying, ugh.
As a result of being at a smaller place, not to mention having a rather cloudy-slash-I think-it's-gonna-rain weather, there weren't many lines around. Correction: there actually weren't ANY. Our first ride was a free as one of, say, Jiraiya-sensei's freakshow concerts during lunchtime. The staff operating it was kind of bored, as if he had better things to do when he opened the gate for Sasuke and I and we jumped onto our individual seats. Thankfully he was watching the buttons as we flew up, and up, and UP instead of reading that novel of his. Wheeeeeee~! The world was spinning around, and around, and screw gravity, I thought I was floating back then and I was getting really dizzy. I glanced over at Sasu for a brief moment while I held onto the rails. He was actually smiling for a change. We went on thrice. Didn't even get off our seats. The operator just shrugged and, well, operated it. And it was fun.
Sasuke and I went on archery next. I hadn't done so before so it was quite an experience, to be honest. Of course, you should have known by now that Sasuke had skills in everything and I remember him adjusting my hand position on the short bow while I held the arrow against it. The target wasn't too far – it was about ten metres? I kept missing and hitting the hedge wall the targets were stuck to and some even flew above the thing.
"Naruto, c'mere." He said, putting down his long bow. The people around us were also pathetically missing so I wasn't the only one. "You have to grip the nocking point with your fist curled around it - not two fingers, no." I tried to follow through with what he was saying.
"Like this?"
The ravenette nodded."Yeah. Now with the same hand, hook the arrow between your index and middle finger. Draw it next to the string and hold it there."
By this time, Sasu was up for abandoning his turn just to assist me with mine. With quick, analytical eyes he scanned the distance towards the target before looking back to me. It was a good thing I was used to handling rough things since the string had a terrible, overused texture, capable of causing callouses.
"Okay, Naru. Hold it upwards a bit, then to your left. The wind's light but you have to be able to judge how you aim." Sasuke explained.
"Okay."
"Hmmm... I think you can let it fly now. Just release the string, yeah?"
I did as I was told and with colourful results – I hit the yellow line, almost close to the bull's eye! ;D I was so happy I started randomly dancing like a moron. "Yeah! I did it! Woohoo!" Everyone at the booth even started clapping for me and it made me feel all the more confident. Sasu was smiling again.
"Yes you did. Great job, Naruto." Then he pulled me close to him and pecked me on the cheek. In front of all those people. (●°~°●) 」Ehehe... Sasuke was always like that...
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After a few more rounds of more hitting and less missing, the two of us eventually decided to go swimming. The only real "pool" available was this thing called "Let's Procrastinate!", a type of lazy river which looped around the wet rides area. You guys have seen those before, right? We had to hop on swim rings and basically ride them along the current. That name though... so stupid and ridiculous, like one of Guy-sensei's work out exercises in PE.
"Naruto, wanna ride a two-person donut?" Sasuke asked me as we waded across the shallow water. Cold. :/ And because there were very few people around, there were a number of swim rings scattered across the river, all in different colours and sizes, listlessly floating by. The green, two-person donut was kind of small, but I hopped on one with Sasu anyway.
"So are we just gonna lie down here and watch the cloudy sky?" I mumbled, lying on the older boy's bare stomach. My hair wasn't wet yet so I don't think he minded. Seagulls were cawing irritatingly from above, disrupting the peaceful silence of running water and the gentle breeze.
Sasuke hnn'ed. "That's kind of the point of a lazy river, dobe." He was carding through my hair with gentle hand; the other in the water, letting it float by with the slow current.
"That's so boring and Shikamaru-ish. There's hardly anyone here!"
"So what do you propose we do?"
This was the moment of truth, people. This was the end of a losing era, the day I finally won against perfect Sasuke-teme at something. Two clever ideas crossed my mind – we could either play tag (how average. And I, Naruto Uzumaki, was anything BUT average.) or... I had another, more unique and spectacular proposition.
I got up and off of Sasuke, feet planting on the sandpaper-y ground of the river. "Let's go donut hopping!" Arms stretched here and there and I was ready to go! :D
"...Excuse me?"
"Oh you know... It's pretty simple." I claimed, waving a nonchalant hand. I found myself a blue swim ring to latch on while Sasu stayed on the green one, patiently listening.
"Since there are so many swim rings around, I challenge you to the ultimate donut hopping race! We're not allowed to touch the ground, and the goal is to move from one donut to the other. Whoever hops on the most donuts wins! And if you fall over or touch the ground, you start over. The two person donuts... uhhh... They can be worth two points. Yeah! Hahahaha!"
Wasn't that the most brilliant idea you've ever heard?（≧∇≦）
Sasuke laughed. "You are so full of surprises, usuratonkachi."
"That's why you're still dating me, teme." I said. "You need meee to light up your worldddd... Now get up, Shikamaru-Sasu. You're gonna play this with me, and I'm gonna beat you!"
Sasuke hesitated a bit, probably thinking about whether or not it was beneficial for him to accept my not-ridiculous but über-awesome challenge. Thing is, everytime I challenged him to something he always accepted, and that's not because he really wanted to win against me but so I could have a chance at beating him. I guess that was why we worked so well together. The Uchiha loved challenges, and I was the only one willing to give him any. I don't shower him with praises all the time and he doesn't go easy on me. Not to mention, Sasu's really nice when you got to know him. :) He's pretty amazing under all that "stay-away-from-me" exterior.
Anyway, now that the sentimentalities are over and done with, we must go on with the story! The ravenette finally hopped out of the two-person donut and sighed, tilting his head back and forth. "Okay, Naru. I'm game. Don't think you're winning this one so easily." Sasuke grabbed himself a yellow donut to start with.
Pfft. "I'm gonna win, teme! Just you see!"
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"I don't think I'm gonna win... I don't see..." was what I had told myself on my, err, I wasn't exactly keeping an accurate count but it may have been my 26th? donut. I remember falling over and having to start again as determined by the rules. Sasuke was probably on the other side of the river, earning points ridiculously quickly yet looking like a complete moron while doing so. Have you ever tried swapping into another swim ring without touching the ground? It's not as easy as you think. Unless you have a fixed technique, chances are, you'll slip over and crash into the water.
This happened to me seven times.
I'm a strong dude. I have a hella crazy amount of stamina, and my muscle power isn't too bad either. To transport one's self into another donut wasn't as hard for the first few, unpracticed tries. There's the slither technique – arms out for your destination swim ring, and you have to try to keep the two close so you can WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE like a wormy into the other one ( ^ω^ ) (Don't hit me, I know, that was a terrible simile but what the hey)
Then there was the frog technique. For the incredibly daring (which I was, very much), the frog technique was all about hopping over from one donut to the next, like frogs hopping on one waterlily after the other. There was a high risk of completely missing (trust me, I knew this.) and falling into the water, ending your donut count and prompting you to start again. Do not try the frog technique if you have bad aim. I was alright with it for a while, until I started getting tired.
Other techniques involved the pancake technique (stacking one swim ring over yourself and sliding into it as you exit the last one – bad, but not worse than the frog technique. High risks of drowning or slipping), the dolphin technique (just swim out of the donut and find a new one, for goodness sake. As long as you don't touch the ground, you'll be fine but it kind of defeats the purpose of donut hopping) and the armadillo technique (this I found was the most effective one. It was like the slither technique, although you had to fold your lower limbs and hook your feet over the back part of the donut – you'd know if you tried it yourself. Next step was to find a new swim ring and slither into it, only this time around, it's easier to move the lower part of your body.)
After slipping, falling, gasping for air and scraping my knee on the ground, I was about to call quits. Drowning was not fun. (￣Д￣)ﾉ My muscles were aching so much and I was out of breath most of the time. If I had a choice, I would have planted my feet on the ground just like that, waded to a new donut, and lied down on it. Challenge be damned if I was going to drown for it.
Fortunately enough for me anyway, I was no quitter.
"Suke! How are you doing?" I yelled as loudly as I could. I didn't know where Sasu was at that moment but he responded with, "Up to 30 now, dobe! You?"
"Haha, I fell off again! 'S actually really hard! I'm not going to let you win though!" Determination restored, I swam over to a new ring, exercising my neck by tilting it side to side. For victory... so Sasuke would be proud of me... so I could do something for myself and proudly say I was better than Sasuke at, regardless of how pointless it may have been...
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One.
Two.
Three four five six. Seven, eight, nine, ten later and the armadillo technique was working for me. I was wary of the few water sprinklers coming at me from the sides, and that one mini waterfall crashing into the lazy river from a tunneling bridge.
Eleven twelve thirteen.
Twenty nine, thirty-one, thirty-three.
I saw Sasuke along the way and waved, earning myself a wave back. He looked tired. Even Sasu had his limits sometimes. "What's your count, Naruto?"
"Almost forty-eight, I think." I wouldn't tell him I was cheating in a way because I'd decided to target the two-person swim rings for double points.
"Ahh. N-Nice." He scrunched his nose briefly before stretching. "I was at seventy-five until I fell over. T-Trying to go for a hundred. You r-really come up with the w-weirdest challenges, don't you?"
"Fufufu... Is that quitter talk I hear?"
"Oh heck no!" The nerve of him splashing at me as we both momentarily floated around the lazy river...! The two of us had a brief water fight of sorts, both trying to make the other surrender with endless barrages of Naruto Uzumaki's Waterball Extravaganza and Sasuke Uchiha's Tsunami of Doom.
"Okay, okay, okay, n-no more." Sasuke shielded his face with his arms, but instantly got the last splash when I retreated into my own swim ring. "Seriously though, Naruto... I still don't understand why you want to win against me at something. You're already plenty awesomer than me, you know." He asked that everytiiiiime...
"Oh yeah, how so?"
"Well, to begin with, you eat more than me."
"Uh-huh?"
"...and you sleep more than me."
"Okaaaaay...?"
"You're better with pranks compared to me." he was listing all he could say with his fingers, the other hand limp against the aquamarine waters in his lying position.
"Sasu, you don't even pull any pranks. And you just listed traits I have that aren't worth it..."
"But you are worth it, Naruto, you big usuratonkachi." He tried to say this with as much feeling as he could. "I already love you plenty, no matter how odd you are."
Pfft.
Tccchh...
Hahaha...
That Sasuke-teme... (*^へ^*)
Silence drifted over the lazy river as he and I stared each other down. Even at that, I couldn't win against him as I directed my gaze back at my feet. I was sitting cross-legged on the donut until I let myself fall into the water, warming my freezing arms.
Once I resurfaced, I didn't hesitate to splash back at perfect Sasu-teme again.
"You saying things like that is so unlike you. Shaddup Sasu, hmph."
"I won't take any of those words back, dobe." He looked at me from his swim ring with an apathetic expression, but those obsidian eyes, I knew, were saying something else.
Bastard and his ability to make me blush by only looking at me. Why exactly did I badly want to win against him again...
I shook my head violently, clearing all thoughts before I snapped back with only pure focus to win. "Well, I'm almost at fifty. I'm going to beat you no matter what!"
He shrugged, dismissing me with a hand flick. "Okay then. Better reach a hundred before I do." He sat up. "Thirty more minutes, then we'll go for the waterslides. That good?"
"Yeah!"
You just watch me win, Sasuke. And I will, because I did. Hahahaha! Naruto Uzumaki is awesome!
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Three more away.
Three more till a hundred and I was done, I was good, I was better than Sasu and I was going to sleep.
Another one of those two-person donuts plus one.
Phew.
There were now a few people minding their own businesses, relaxing into the makeshift river and resting their tired eyes. I mentally noted to watch out for them. I hadn't run into Sasuke again but I had a feeling he was the loser of this challenge.
One more two-person donut and another.
You know that really awesome victory music? That, "tuntuntun tuntuntun!" thing, I dunno if you could picture it in your head so just think of any victory music, I guess. Well, it was as if at that moment, as I slithered into the green, double swim ring and was about to reach out for another blue single one, it was playing in the background while I moved in epic slow motion. ψ(｀∇´)ψ
And even though he wasn't there I could imagine Sasuke, trying super, super hard to get into his own target swim ring, also in slow motion as he shouted, "Noooooo, donut do that, Narutooooo" but I made it before him, I reached it before him, I was able to hop to a hundred donuts whilst I fistpumped in the air, proclaiming to the world of my magnificent achievement.
In reality it was just me screaming, "WOOHOOO! YEAH! YASS!" before planting my feet on the inferior ground so I could find the ravenette somewhere around the river.
When I spotted him around the entrance, I mechanically waded across the pool of sorts, ecstatic and proud of myself. "How'd you do?" I even asked, knowing full well his answer would have been less than a hundred.
"Made it to fifty-three before you started shouting out. Congratulations, dobe."
He pulled me against him and planted a kiss on my wet blonde hair. Yay! I won! It felt sooo good to win... I would tell Kiba and Shikamaru of this win, and Sakura-chan and Ino too... but none of their proud expressions could compare to how Sasu was looking at me right then.
*\(^o^)/* I felt a celebration coming on~!
"Well, better head over to the waterslides before queues form. Let's go." Sasu found my hand and pulled me along, muttering, "After this, let's celebrate with ramen for lunch."
On that day itself, I consumed five full bowls of noodles from one of the shacks as Sasu stood by, playing with the back of my hair. We went on the carousel, and mini lake kayaking, and chased each other regardless of who was around on the pirate ship waterpark attraction. Later on, though I knew nothing of it, I fell asleep on the car ride home and the teme carried my heavy self back to my apartment.
Forget it, ha ha. I would never win the "best boyfriend" award against Sasuke. Teme-Sasuke. Sasuke-teme. I love him a lot, and he loves me too, even though I could never be as perfectly teme as he was.
(Happy, happy ending! Yay~!)
WHAT HAVE I CREATED HAHAHA :'D
Now while Chii works on yet another story, she hopes you at least enjoyed that (and if not, she's terribly sorry)
Come on, writing power! Don't run out on me now! *yells profanely as she gets into character for her next story*
ARIGATOU for reading xD