AN: Something similar to this was posted previously. It had too many story lines and has now been deleted, this story will focus on the story lines which people seemed most interested in.

Erin walked into the bar, the one Bunny worked at. She sat down and without even saying a word a shot glass was placed in front of her, it was filled with vodka. She downed the liquid and felt it light up her insides, it burned, it hurt, she put the glass down and let it be filled again. She downed three shots before she even looked up, even acknowledged her mother's presence.

"What happened?" Bunny asked, trying to sound concerned.

"I don't want to talk about," Erin said and she finally reached for the beer sitting on the counter. She took a sip and let out a long slow breath. She wasn't going to talk to Bunny about what just happened, about the fact that two Chicago police officers had just tried to kill her, that Landon had almost got killed in the process. She was just going to drink, try and bury her problems.

"Okay," Bunny said pouring her another shot. "You don't have to tell me what happened but we need to talk. You can't keep doing this."

"Like you can talk," she reached for the shot glass, downed the drink, put the glass back on the bar, Bunny re-filled it.

"I don't mean this Erin," Bunny said waving her arms around the bar, "I mean everything else. I think you need to step away from all this policing stuff for a while. I think you need to spend time with your family."

She reached for the beer and took a long slow gulp. 'Family' she thought, Bunny didn't have the slightest idea what family meant to her. Hank was her family, everyone else in the unit was her family before she was. Bunny was her razor blade, the place she went to when she wanted to hurt herself, when she didn't want to hurt the people she cared about. She didn't care about her mom, not after all the times she'd hurt her and let her down as a child.

"Erin," Bunny said, and she reached over and took her hand, "you need to spend time with your family."

"Okay," she said and pulled her hand from her mother's grasp. She'd spend time with her 'family', her mother, not because she thought she should, not because she thought it would make her feel better but because she didn't want the people she cared about getting hurt anymore. She was bad news, she was born into bad news and she was still bad news, she needed to protect the people she cared about.

The next morning

Hank held Erin's badge in his hand as he walked out the bar she'd decided to stay at, the one Bunny worked at, the worst one she could possibly be at as far as he was concerned. Drinking was one thing but her mother's influence concerned him. Bunny was toxic for Erin, he knew it, Erin knew it, he could see by the look she gave him she was hurting and she didn't want to feel better. Everyone it would seem except Bunny knew this was bad, in a sick twisted way Bunny seemed to think she was helping her daughter. But Hank knew better, Erin knew better. He was angry at her and disappointed, she was better than this. He'd seen her fall down this hole before, he'd watched her crawl her way out of it, he needed her to start doing that again.

He wanted to get her out the bar, he tried almost everything he could. He stopped short of physically manhandling her out but that was all. He couldn't manhandle her, he'd never laid a finger on her, not in that way and he wasn't going to start now. It hurt to walk away from her, to leave her there when she was in such obvious mental pain, but she didn't want his help, she made that clear. He'd give her a few days and try again.

Erin watched Hank walk out the bar, she reached for her beer and took another drink. Her mother came up behind her and held her shoulders, she pushed them away, she didn't want her mother touching her. A part of her wanted Hank, she wanted him to grab her by the arm and yank her out the bar. She wanted him to hurt her, not beat her but hold her so tight it hurt but she wouldn't ask for that. Hank would never hurt her, not like that, he was a good man, he'd saved her life and she knew he would do it again in an instant but she didn't want to be saved. To be saved would mean she would have to let him in, she would have to feel, and she didn't want to feel, she didn't want to let anyone in, she didn't want them to get hurt too, so instead she drank. Every time her bottle was empty her mother gave her a new one, she drank and she didn't talk, not about anything important at least. When Landon arrived she left with him, at his place she drank more, and swallowed the pharmaceuticals he placed in front of her. She didn't know what she was taking, she didn't care, she just wanted the feeling to stop. They had sex, it was rough, it was what she wanted.

Jay tried to phone Erin, he was worried about her, he could see she was self-destructing, he could see she was hurting and he wanted to make her feel better. He wanted to be her friend but she didn't want him to. Her phone just rang, and rang and rang, she never answered.

Three days later

Jay listened to the sound of Erin's voicemail kick in. He hung up and dialled again. It had been three days since Voight had come back to the station in a huff and said Erin wasn't coming in. Voight hadn't been willing to give any more explanation, at least not to him. He'd seen through his open door Voight place Erin's badge in his top draw. Something was up and if he couldn't get the explanation from Voight he was determined to get it from Erin. Only problem was she wouldn't answer her phone and he had no idea where she was. He'd camped outside her apartment one night but she never showed. He was worried about her, scared that something was seriously wrong. He was about to hang up the phone again when he heard the line connect.

"Jay stop calling," he heard Erin's voice say down the line. She sounded tired, her voice with an even stronger rasp than usual, "I'm fine," then the line disconnected.

She hung up before he'd even had a chance to get a word in. In frustration he made to throw his phone across the room but he held on to the electronic device.

"Still not answering?" Antonio asked seeing the look of frustration crossing his friend's face.

"She answered," Jay said turning to Antonio, "she said she was fine and hung up before I could say anything."

"Oh," Antonio nodded like he understood, "well at least you know she's not dead, give her space, she'll come around when she'd ready."

"Yeah," Jay sighed and he looked around. They were in Matador's the gym Antonio had brought with money he was vague on where it came from. Only a few feet away were a couple of boxing bags hanging from stands. "You got any gloves lying around here?" he asked, the idea of punching something right now felt good.

"Should do," Antonio smiled at him and he walked away. He returned a minute later with a couple pairs of gloves, "Catch," he said throwing a pair at Jay.

Jay put the gloves on and began to punch, and then he began to kick. He was angry and frustrated and worried and hurt. He wanted to help Erin but he couldn't if she wouldn't let him

Erin put her phone down and looked over at Landon. "I told him I was fine. Are you happy now?" she asked, reaching for the packet of cigarettes. She placed the stick in her mouth and lit it with shaking hands. She felt horrible in every imaginable way.

They were at Landon's apartment and in the midst of a bender. They were coming up for air, she could feel herself starting to sober up, the headaches were starting to come, she had no doubt she'd be drinking again soon, and taking other stuff if Landon pulled them from his pocket. For now the cigarettes would do.

"I expected you'd at least have a conversation with the guy," Landon said reaching for her cigarette and taking a drag, "The poor guy is worried about you."

"He doesn't need to be worrying. I'm fine," she said but she knew the statement was a lie and so did Landon.

"You're a lot of things Erin but fine ain't one of them," he said as he stood, walked into the kitchen. Erin stayed on the sofa puffing on the cigarette. She didn't need Landon giving her lectures and speeches he was her escape from all that.

He came back with a jug of water and two glasses. He filled the glasses and handed one to her. She took a sip and placed the glass back on the table. She knew she needed the water to make herself feel better but she wanted to hurt.

"We can't keep doing this," Landon said sitting down, "I've still got tickets to Rocklahoma, come away with me. There is nothing holding you here."

Erin took a drag of the cigarette and thought, Landon was right about one thing there was nothing holding her to Chicago. She could go to Rocklahoma she thought and then maybe she'd stay.