Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia nor Harry Potter.
Roderich felt stuck, looking at the bottle he held in his hand. He wasn't sure anymore of what he was doing. On the outside his actions were for someone else, however on the inside, maybe it was his own selfishness. Of all the accomplishments Roderich will ever complete in his life, old and someday new, this is the one that would haunt him forever. It's ethically wrong. There's no morality or authenticity to it. It's fake, manipulative, deceitful, and it's even banned from Hogwarts' grounds. There's so many reasons he knows why he shouldn't even use it for whatever reason, however, it could be the answer to a problem he can't fix.
A love potion for someone who cannot love... romantically.
To make matters worse, he planned to use it for Elizaveta.
The plan was already in motion and there was no turning back now, he'd already bought the potion from Fred and George's shop. The embarrassment that came to seemingly being the only boy buying this product was not to go in vain. To anyone else, he could simply toss the love potion out and pretend like nothing happened or he could continue with the love potion and everyone gets their happily ever after. He gripped the bottle in his hand, this was something he had to do. This was after all, for Elizaveta.
He'd do anything for her, and she deserved nothing but the best. However, he was not the best, and therefore he needed to use the love potion. Elizaveta deserves the feeling of love and he didn't care for guilt to come. It was not heavier than the guilt he already held onto.
To not love her properly.
He felt like a heartless, cold, inept monster incapable of loving. Everything she was not. She is human. She is what humans are supposed to be like while he is a broken mistake that cannot understand the so-called wonderful feelings of love. Yet she still chose him above all who could truly love her.
She loved him for him, knowing he could never reciprocate the feelings and he's never felt so guilty for feeling that he's robbed her of love and her soulmate. She loved him because it was him, and he only wished he felt the same for her.
He only admires her. He respects her for all that she is and holds the highest regards for her. She is his best friend and he cannot imagine a day where she is not in his life. Yet, he does not love her in any romantic aspects.
Love is supposed to be this ultimate feeling of intimacy yet it does not reveal its romantic form to Roderich. He understands familial and platonic love, yet he's never felt romantic love. Roderich sees romance as the colors red, white, and pink. As hearts, chocolate kisses, roses and bouquets. When people are said to be so immersed with their beloved one that they forget the whole world around them. Or love creates the butterflies in one's stomach and so that people become too nervous and panicked around their loved one. Yet, those feelings and emotions are still foreign to him.
He looks to where she could be and makes his decision.
He was doing this for her.
[N/A: Things will be explained later.]