I DO NOT OWN DOCTOR WHO
A/N: I wrote this a while ago and have been meaning to upload it. Please review!
Tell Her
Exhausted, I staggered through my timeline. I had only made it as far as I had by leaning against my younger self. Behind me Clara was limping along, being supported by Rose. Clara, The Impossible Girl, My Impossible Girl. We had made it so far yet there was still so far to go. If I was tired, then Clara must have been asleep on her feet. I wasn't the one who had been scattered throughout my life, I wasn't the one who had died thousands of times over, I wasn't the one with thousands of lives worth of memories inside my head. Slowly we climbed one of the many mountains inside my timeline. Suddenly Rose began to yell my name at the top of her lungs. Forgetting about my exhaustion I ran to where Rose was struggling to support a limp figure. It was Clara. Kissing her forehead I picked her up and began to carry her up the rest of the mountain.
Slowly I opened my eyes. Where was I? When was I? Who was I? A face came into focus, It was his face, the face I travelled with, the face I had died for thousands of times, the face I loved. Painfully I struggled to sit up. He gently pushed me back down, claiming I needed to rest. As soon as I closed my eyes I was alone. It felt like I was dying. I heard the screams of my echoes. They were my own screams. It was torture. My eyes jerked open and my body suddenly tensed, shocking him. It seemed like I had been asleep for hours, despite it feeling like seconds to me. I was next to a fire, surrounded by snow and rock. He was cradling me against his chest, in between his two hearts. The sound of them beating coupling with the warmth from the fire calmed me down. I stared into his old, green eyes. He looked so young yet his eyes looked so old, heavy with everything he had seen. I began to wonder if that was what I looked like now. A young body with old eyes. Now I understood what he meant when he said human lives were too short, there was so much out there, so much too see, so much to see, so many choices to make. But the older you are the more choices you have to make, and when you make many choices, some are bound to be hard. The path you choose could make you be seen as a hero or a villain, but sometimes you have to pick the one that makes you seem like a villain because the one that makes you seem like a hero goes against your values, puts things you treasure in danger or is just impossible for any number of reasons. I had seen things the others hadn't. I knew the guilt that came with those choices. I knew how much it pained him to make a choice that would get people killed, I knew he was not a hero nor a villain, he was just a man. But I still loved him. Despite all the people his choices had killed, the species they had killed, the hearts they had left broken, I still loved him.
I looked into Clara's brown eyes, I saw the pain sleeping had caused her, and I knew I had caused it. I was the one that had forced the deaths upon her, the memories, the pain. The thought of it made me feel sick. How could I have done this to someone I loved. I stopped that train of thought suddenly, I didn't love Clara. But still, in the back of my mind I knew I did, but Clara would never fell the same. Gently I asked her what had happened while she was asleep that had caused her so much pain. I comforted her as she explained the feeling of loneliness, death and her echoes screams. I knew how that felt being lost in your own mind. It was a terrible feeling. It felt like doom, darkness and evil. It was a feeling you thought you would never escape from.
After what felt like weeks of walking we reached the timeline exit. I was ecstatic, but my mood was dampened by the fact that I now had to say good bye to the friend I made on the journey, Rose. I remembered the time when she and her Doctor found us. We were nearly dead from exhaustion, starvation and dehydration, but hey found us, fed us, gave us water and then helped us to the end of our journey. After saying goodbye to Rose, I began to look for the Doctor so we could leave, then something I never expected happened.
As Clara said goodbye to Rose I was saying goodbye to my younger self. I thanked him for helping us and was about to leave when he grabbed my arm and said "I know about you and Clara.". Confused I asked "What do you mean?" only to be answered back by a quick "How you feel about each other.". As I had no wish to admit my feelings about Clara to my younger self I turned to leave again but was stopped again, this time by a "Tell her or you'll regret it. You're still haunted by not telling Rose until it was too late. Tell her so it doesn't happen again. I left again but this time to follow my younger self's advice. Clara was coming over looking for me so we could leave. I ran over to her quickly, cupped her cheek and said "Clara Oswald I love you.". After all this time holding it in it felt good to have it out in the open. She then did something completely unexpected. She kissed me. It was soft, loving and incredible. My hands found their way to her waist, while hers encircled my neck. When we pulled apart to breathe she said four words, the most beautiful four words I had ever heard, said by the most beautiful woman in the whole of existence. Then we grabbed each others hands and jumped into the crack in a rock wall that was tell exit and left my timeline.