Mahō Sensei Negima! fanfic. You promised yourself you wouldn't ask for any more than she was willing to give.
I. Attraction
You've always watched her, but never have you seen her like this. She is laughing, dancing, twirling in the rain, dark hair plastered to pale skin and darker eyes lit with happiness and pleasure. You have seen many sides of her, different portraits gleaned from a lifetime of knowing her, of watching her behind lidded eyes. Formal at omiai meetings, casual on weekends and at home, traditional at Kyōto, proper at school—they all pale in comparison with this ethereal creature who's tilting her face and smiling into the rain's caress.
She is beautiful (too beautiful).
You can't look away.
II. Romance
Her breath is fluttering across your neck, and you gulp even as you grasp her shoulder lightly. Your other hand moves to arrange your nodachi and she giggles and you have to hold back from blushing because the girls are taking pictures and you really don't want them to get the wrong (right) idea. She leans in ever so slightly to tuck herself against your side and soft hair presses against your cheek—and stop blushing. Seconds later and it's over and she's moving away. You busy yourself with Yūnagi to avoid looking at her.
Holding her feels too natural.
III. Passion
Your heart is pounding, pounding, pounding when she peers up at you shyly as she asks you to be her Ministra Magi, to be her partner. She is nibbling lightly on her bottom lip, nervous, but all you can focus on is the sight of slightly parted lips and the flash of teeth tugging on skin and wonder how it would feel to press against that softness. But you won't do this, can't do this. You…you don't want your first kiss (only kiss) with her wasted on something like Pactio, on anything less than what kisses are meant to represent.
IV. Intimacy
There are many things you want to ask her, but none you could dare to voice.
She has fallen asleep on the train, slumped against your shoulder, exhausted after Evangeline-san's grueling training session. You smile, helplessly enthralled by the half-coherent mumbles tumbling from her lips as she snuggles closer to your warmth. Against your volition, your arm curls around her and she smiles into your blazer. Does she know who she's with? You don't know, but that doesn't stop you from tangling a hand into her locks.
There are many things you want to ask. What am I to you?
V. Commitment
She's in the next room on an omiai and you're waiting out in the hall. You're twenty-two and things haven't changed, not really, and Konoe-sama's still searching for a suitable mate for her (never you for more than one reason). You're twenty-two and you still feel the same way you've always felt about her and every memory with her only serves to make you like her even more. Even if it's very likely she'll never feel the same way.
Once…you couldn't bear to stay, in fear she would discover your secret (secrets). Now, you're sure you'll never leave her side.